Frank and Ernest by Thaves for November 16, 2023

Recycle the box.

This would explain a lot. A LOT! And how many leftover pieces do ya think he had? Always pay for the professional assembly! That’s Supreme Deity 101!

His IKEA shipment came.

Parental assembly required.

On the first day, God created allen wrenches.

The Heathkit Universe is simply a cosmic balloon with stardust, to be inflated more and more and more until at the End of Time the Supreme Being lets it go, or it Anyway, that’s my theory, and I’m stuck with it …

So … Where did the box come from?

And … How were the contents of the box made?

This proves that God is a man. He didn’t bother to read the instructions when he assembled our universe.

Apparently, there were some missing parts.

‘Assembly of God’ is another protestant sect. Microscopically different from other protestant sects. @reverandike is correct, Allen screwballs, no wrench.

He should have followed the directions instead of tossing them out.

Just get ahold of Best Buy Total and let them do it… Get yourself some chips and pour yourself a grog of beer…!

Obviously, the instructions were uploaded to ‘the Cloud’, which blew away.

GOOD FREAKIN’ LUCK! Try Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. . .be sure the bulldozer’s in the correct quadrant. . .

God ordered from Ikea?

Just take out the two rocks inside and smash them together VERY hard!

Where they assembled Israel was a gigantic mistake. Surely somebody didn’t follow the instruction manual.

The three little words that strike fear into the hearts of parents: Some assembly required.

“The world was made in six days, and finished on the seventh,“But according to the contract, it should’ve been the eleventh,“But the painters wouldn’t paint, and the workers wouldn’t work,“So the cheapest thing to do was to fill it up with dirt.”

Batteries included?

So, the Big Bang was an angry outburst after God got tired of trying to follow the Ikea instructions? :)

Oh, no, we came from Acme! ッ

Assignment: Describe the universe. Give two examples.

“Ikea am the Lord thy God.”

The State Senate wanted to pass laws all on its own but was severely reprimanded, “No, no some Assembly required!”

In small print “Made in China”.

IKIA?

You can get a Big Bang out of it by opening the box.

It’ll take at least six days to complete. But first: need some light over here!

if the universe is 13 billion years old, what was going on 13 trillion years before

I’m thinking that the joke would be funnier if the box had either an Amazon or an IKEA logo on it.

The problem with Creationism – the theory that the universe is too complicated to have self-assembled (via the scientifically documented phenomena of “emergence”) – is that the creator must have also been too complicated to have self assembled, so the creator must have had a creator, and that creator a creator, and so forth. It’s creators all the way up! (Reference “Turtles all the way down”).

It should say IKEA on the box.

Um, define “universe”…