Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for August 29, 2016

♫ Stop, in the name of love… ♪

Just stop talking, Bradley, and let Toni have a moment to herself!

The struggle is real!

Brad still doesn’t get it. Give her a minute.

So been there. Prescription: no words, just hug.

I don’t think I have ever seen those facial expressions on Toni before. Not that Brad notices …

Time for a breakup

She wants a wedding, he wants a circus.

Was Tonis’ hair always that long?

Why is it someone has a break down and the other person has to bend to their will. Talk it out Toni don’t use emotional blackmail to get your way.

She owes it to Brad to just communicate with him. The talk should have come a long time ago.

I’m in agreement with Toni on this one. Brad does not yet have the maturity to see that they are out of sync. Find out if all this is too much for her, then sit down and do some serious editing of the wedding script..

Aye.

Today has a really brilliant strip. In very few words and good body language a great deal of information is imparted.

Toni’s having a meltdown? Either that or she wants to elope to avoid a thousand wedding details and decisions.

I think he might understand “Shut up!”, just a little better.

I never did like brad. He should just SHUT UP !!!!!!!!!!!!!

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノBrad, would you just SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT!!!

I’m really surprised that Greg is continuing this arc, I was sure that he was going to leave us hanging, for at least a month!

“alone time I want, read my body language”

Toni’s difficulty in talking it out may be because she is an introvert.

Some extroverts will do anything to get introverts to talk and then will interrupt them in mid-sentence. They might do this several times in a conversation without even realizing it. Most introverts will patiently endure these assaults to the ego, but don’t be fooled; they do notice, they do mind, and they would really appreciate it if the other person would shut up and let them get a word in edgewise.

Introverts put a lot of thought into the few words they do say so interruptions can be very frustrating. As others chatter away, introverts are desperately clinging to their last thought – and the hope that others will let them spit it out. Usually their hopes are dashed, as the discussion swiftly moves on to new topics.

Interrupt introverts enough times and they won’t even bother trying to interject. They’ll spend the rest of the conversation nodding their heads while secretly stewing over your inability to listen.

Yelling seldom solves anything. but then again………Is Toni finally becoming the squeaky wheel??? I think she’s going to get his attention. So Brad…SHUT UP!!!!

The ball is not in Brad’s court at this moment. Brad needs to sit down…and wait…

Even a strong woman can have a crying breakdown in neutral territory. As someone else said, Brad should just hold her until she stops crying. They’ll be able to talk and hear each other once the stress is gone. They should be able to plan a wedding that makes them both happy.

I know we’re all pulling for Toni to back Brad down, but Toni still needs to let Brad have the fun wedding he wants. They need to find their common ground, not their compromised ground.

My husband and I spent a lot of miserable years with one or the other having to compromise and give in to the other. We have been married 36 years and only recently have we learned that if we keep talking, we’ll find common ground. Then we are both happy with our choice.

I got the point a week ago… now move it on.

I don’t think it is marriage itself, THE MARRIAGE ceremony that has her overwhelmed. She needs to stand up for herself and tell Brad what she really wants, likewise her brother needs to be told in no uncertain terms not do dump his daughter whenever she is an inconvenience to him.

BTW where is the kid, left in the car???

Toni is having deja vu issues. Brad is behaving way too much like Dirk did, trying to be controlling and be the boss of her. No wonder she is freaking out! If Brad wants to marry Toni, it’s time for him to shut up and wise up!

Tomorrow: Brad remembers the “Small Wedding” comments…he’s on “LARGE”…and he goes “Let’s Elope.” Toni faints…

Tomorrow: Brad remembers the “Small Wedding” comments…he’s on “LARGE”…and he goes “Let’s Elope.” Toni faints…

Time to stop talking and start listening like the rest of us with mates.

Yes, this is a comic strip with fictitious characters.

Yet, the situation shown in today’s strip reflects what many young couples are going through. Unfortunately, too many young people focus mainly on physical sexual attraction instead of the more important aspects in a relationship.

Ultimately, marriage brings many responsibilities that require maturity, love and an unselfish commitment to one’s mate. Brad appears to be focused on what he wants while giving minimal attention to what Toni needs.

In effect, Brad and Toni’s courtship is beginning to manifest serious issues that can seriously affect their future marriage. Peace.

Actually, Toni is just trying to say: “No, Brad. Not yet. I’ll let you know when. But… don’t go too far away!”. Personally, I feel it’s all part of the natural (and beautiful) process from our Creator, of spoken…and unspoken….communication. This story is still ongoing. It is only three panels removed from Saturday. Just let the process play out. How it unfolds for them, and all the Brads and Tonis, when done right, is a wondrous thing to behold.

Drewder, I feel you on this one. If this were the other way around, Toni would have been saying, “Just TALK to me, Brad!” Ladies, we can’t read minds. Communication goes BOTH ways.

She is being a selfish “me first” sort of female.

Toni wants Bwad!she just doesn’t want a Kardashian wedding!that should be pretty obvious to everyone here! She’s far prettier and far classier than that. It’s funny how Greg thought to do a role reversal!Bwad will do a fast reversal as well! we guys always cave in for the chicks.but in this case I agree he must, and fast!

Can’t get over how oblivious Bwad is to it all too!even Shannon can tell if asked about it!

“Stop.”“Think It O- O- verrrr…” (♪)“Right Here Waiting” (♬)“Hurry Up And Wait”“Simply Complex”“The Best And Worst Of Both Worlds”“The Intersecting Of Crossroads”“Till Red Becomes Green”“Don’t Do Nothing, Till You Hear From Me”

“It’s All Greek…Till Your First Baklava”“Speaking The ‘Romance Languages’ "“Surely, You Gesture!”“Mind Your Peace And Cues”“Ballet For Two Hemispheres And One World”

or “Between A Rock And A Thing… That’s Like A Rock…..But Is Not A Rock.”

Just back off, Brad, and give her space and time to get over her emotional moment.

Kymberleigh, who asked you?

Mr. Evans, PLEASE don’t break up Brad and Toni.

Same as Friday, no story devepment in today’s strip

Toni needs to be let alone— no words, no hugs, NOTHING. Unfortunately, Brad is now scared so will be unable to to do nothing.

Wow, so one long simmering issuer finally comes out and every one is ‘elope’ break up’ shut up;’ immature.’ WOW. Lots of judgement here. seems a lo to of people have led absolutely perfect lives, never lost their tempers or yelled out loud., or needed five minutes to collect their thoughts. No wonder people divorce so much. Can’t handle the slightest conflict?

He forgot she wanted something very simple. He has gone over the top cause he thinks this is what should be. Maybe somebody should give him some oxygen to help breath.

even relatively ‘simple’ weddings can have a number od decisions that need be made.

Hang On, Bradley My Boy.

YOU Sir, are about to MEET Toni’s Little Used Intestinal Fortitude, HEAD ON.

“What’s THAT,” You Ask?

Well, its a Little Something She NEVER Used On Dirk, Jonah or Jonah’s Noxious Little Prodigy. You Know, the People that DESERVE It?

So get READY.

PS: Oh, and By the Way, EVERYTHING that’s Wrong in Toni’s Life? It’s YOUR Fault!!

It looks like Toni’s about to snap.

time to say goodbye forever. she’s like most women crazy

For a person trained as an EMS, he’s having a hard time recognizing a panic attack….

Well, THAT’S more than I ever wanted to know….

Toni and TJ!

@Kymberleigh

You sure use up a lot of space with that FAQ GARBAGE every week!

I like Toni’s crossed arms in the second panel. That would indicate she’s starting to pull herself together, is starting to protect herself.

Call 911? Aren’t you 911, Brad?

I wonder how many of you would be smiling and happy if you had been on call for 24 hours with little sleep, had been out fighting a fire, couldn’t even take a shower to get the soot off without having to try to fix a malfunctioning shower, then being interrupted by someone demanding that you to babysit their kid without notice and setting you up by telling the kid that you are going to take her swimming—then, when you protest, accusing you of being “too busy to help me”, and saying sarcastically, “Thanks for all your support”, watching the kid rummage through your drawers and drag out your personal items, listening to the kid yelling and arguing with you about how you’re not doing enough for her, and screaming “No no no no!”, being handed endless lists of things to do by two different people, listening to someone jabbering endlessly about unimportant and inappropriate things such as outdoor heaters, chair covers, valet parking, centerpieces and cutlery—how many of you would be sweet and smiling and happy? This is not a panic attack. She is exhausted and burdened.

Toni needs an older man who’s more settled.

@ Luanaphile….. the reply feature stopped working, so this is in response to your comment to me:Luanaphile…. I agree with you 100% about the “initiator” and “responder” idea. A couple needs to be aware enough of eachother’s emotional constitution to read the needs of each other. My idea of shared compromise is what should ultimately happen so both can have some of what they would like. But, initially, Brad needs to take on the listening role because Toni is experiencing crisis right now. But, even in crisis, Toni needs to be cognizant and thoughtful in what she says…. and not simply “spew out”.

Mordock, sorry about my typo, an something in my blasted computer keeps refusing to let me correct it!

where’s the cool , calm, always in control Toni now?

Even in an emotional outburst, you do not need to hurt others, and hurting others never really helps.I guess what I am saying is… yeah, sure, an emotional outburst can be unavoidable at times… but inflicting additional hurt/pain on others is still a risk. It is possible to “aim” your outburst to inflict the least amount of damage as possible, like #2 above.^^^^^^^^^However, by the very nature of an emotional outburst, it is not RATIONAL, which means that sometimes what we say is not in our complete control…

Toni needs to work on her boundary issues. She is in a demanding profession, and does not need to be assaulted by Jonah and Shannon when she is away from her job and finally has some time to herself. Shannon needs to keep out of her personal areas—she does not need to be going into her room at all. I hope that Brad and Toni can work on their boundaries when they get married. Jonah needs to disappear, but I’m afraid he won’t.

You wrote:

My father (married 3 times) told me to not get married until I was 35. The girl should be in her early 20s, he said. Jack Webb said in The DI that the perfect wife was a good looking blonde who owned a liquor store. I always encouraged my bright, young students to marry money and forget the rest.You are JOKING, right? Please, be joking.I was proposed to twice when young by a friend who was the son in an exceedingly wealthy family. Rather than his money making him more attractive to me it instead caused me to have to think extra about the possibility because i needed to be sure that the money did not push me. That was something i needed to do for both of us. In the end i chose to not accept his proposals and i am glad. The size of someone’s wallet is not a reason to marry a person in my view (though i can see where someone’s overspending in relation to income can be a reason to not marry).

Thanks, Pipe! Great point about the aiming.I think i might try today to make some time to see what recent abstracts on endocrinology and tears look like, but do not know if i will have time for that fun distraction.

Wow. I am out of time very soon, but just a skim of the first few pages here indicate great complexity. I was seek aspects of triggering endocrinology, but can imagine a few people here liking this artcle on tear composition, so:https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4878988/

He won’t stop talking and she won’t start talking.

I know how she feels. It doesn’t even necessarily have to be about a wedding. My husband goes on and on and on trying to verbally solve a problem when all I want to do is shut down and regroup for a while.

Dog, LOL! Twice in two days…Yesterday, Steve was picking up so e honey maple turkey cold cuts for me and the deli manager offered him a taste, whereupon Steve explained that he is a vegetarian but i am addicted to that cold cut. The woman behind him then approached the counter and said, “I’ll have a pound of what he’s having!”

Jim, do you mean JA woukd have liked me because i did not marry Charlie, or because i thought so deeply about the whys and why nots, or both? Or perhaps, because i found the right man for me?

Well said, Pipe!

Themom, great summary

Brad’s kind of dense not picking up on Toni’s vibes already.

We had a friend long ago who found that the best way for her to get the rest to shut up so she coukd speak was by shouting “Control C”Not relevant enoungh to work now since the meaning was later changed away from being an interrupt which killed the process, except working now through inducing confusion, but at the time and place it worked.

Warning Will Robinson…Danger…Danger…

Brad ain’t wrapped tight at all. He talks too much and doesn’t see the big picture.

SuKie, I first read P&P and S&S when I was high school age, but did not touch her again until I saw the wonderful BBC version of Pride and Prejudice with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth (very faithful to the book). See it! and the Sense and Sensibility with Emma Thomson, Kate Winslet, Alan Rickman and Hugh Grant. My wife has always loved Persuasion and someone on an Internet list years go proclaimed Emma the most perfect novel ever. Now I am hooked. I understand the Disraeli read Pride and Prejudice seventeen time and I can believe it.

i think I commented already, but in case I didn’t this is a time out that she needs, and he should understand. I think I saw someone say that she should not use emotional blackmail to get her way. I can’t see where that could possibly be her intent. This arc has been set up to show that so many things came to a head with her, starting with her brother and how he is the one using emotional blackmail. He is blackmailer in chief. And he is using guilt, and his child to dump on her, and it has not gotten better. Plus Brad is all caught up with what he wants, but it is pretty clear that she does not want something too complicated. One point though is that a “simple” wedding is not simple. Anything above going to City Hall starts to get complicated. There are too many people, emotions, and ego’s involved, not just that of the bride and groom. I think the biggest thing is that Brad has to be sensitive to what her feelings are, and what her emerging wishes are, then adjust “their” plans accordingly. This is not that unusual in the run-up to weddings, and as I keep reminding its what occurs after that is important. This is important too though because how the couple handles this crises will be a good predictor of how the couple handles external and internal pressures we all face, whether in real life, or in Luannverse.

R.I.P. Gene Wilder.a true comic genius.

I think Brad has (over the past weeks/months) become a source of stress and aggravation… not the solid caring ‘rock’ that Toni once envisioned. She doesn’t want to talk. She doesn’t want to go away somewhere with Brad (he is the source of stress right now). On Saturday Toni said she can’t do ‘this’. I’m thinking that ‘this’ is bigger than just a bunch of wedding plans. What is happening today is not just the result of the day’s occurrences. The sequence of events leading to this is just the tipping point. The large part of the iceberg is submerged.

I am a lady and if I were Brad I turn around get in my car and walk away…she’s the problem not Brad.

Thank you for joking!

So, how about a low-key wedding at Brad’s (er, Brad’s parents’) house – I’m sure TJ can get a license to perform the ceremony – and then a reception at The Fuze?

This marriage is not happening

I’m betting on Brad to do the right thing.

Thank you, luannfann1212. You seem to have a good handle on what’s happening.

My guess is small ceremony on September 11

Time to take a break. Just silence, float in the silence…

Toni’s circuit breaker just flipped due to an overload. Kind of like seeing 260 comments when I clicked on this site. Time to declare a moratorium on problems and just enjoy the countryside that you’ve stopped in. Disconnect.

Thought this song might be apropos, given the first statement in Panel 1:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-kA3UtBj4M

Spoiler:YAY!

Poor Brad.I mastered doing nothing years ago.

Spoiler Alert II: Turns out the bump in the road was just the fold in the map….> > WHEW < <

Brad is such a typical male. He wants what he wants and to h*ll with everybody else. Never listens. And totally clueless when it comes to emotions. Sheesh. Just tell Brad to shut the heck up and listen for a change, Toni! Otherwise, he’s going to walk all over you when (or IF) you get married. You are not a doormat.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OI2vU9RYg2csandra-stop for a minuteon the background plays the famous german TV series “Tatort” (something like the crime scene) which has endured, I think, from the ’60s all the way through the fall of communism to today.