Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for March 14, 2018

They’re called catadors.

As my cat sits on my lap, I assure the catdor is taking the biggest risk. Of course, throw the cat in the toilet, slam the lid shut, and flush, then rinse, and stand well back when you open the lid with a long broom.

They can smell fear. And tuna.

You really don’t need to wash cats….But expecting them the come to you is a different thing….I do have a whistle (By mouth they always come to. But it’s for emergencies only…I wouldn’t want to abuse it. They do come running every time though..Cat’s are the cleanest animals….They always smell good.

The matador may avoid injury, but the catador will always take damage and lose blood.

Of course, you can use a catapult to put the cat in the sink while avoiding a catastrophe.

But that would be cheating.

That is cruelty to matadors.

I was always the Designated Cat Holder while someone else did the actual bathing. The cats were seldom angry at the washer, but would take it out on the holder. Heavy leather gloves with long cuffs were a big salvation in my case.

You can tell the poor guy is catatonic with fear.

This whole thing is a catastrophe!

Beware of Cat Scratch Fever.

This looks like the bullpen from the movie, “Ferdinand”.

No body armor or chainmail gloves?!

Purreadors. Wouldn’t they use a red dot to bait the cat before bathing it?

https://youtu.be/CwO45La_NVo

No all cats hate water. We had one that liked to play with the water coming out of the hose to soaking effect.

What was that George Carlin joke? “I gave my cat a bath. It wasn’t so bad except for the fur on my tongue.”

Wiley, have you ever actually tried to give a cat a bath? ‘Cuz you know, you’re sending this matador on a suicide mission.

My cat lives outdoors, in the summer when it is hot, I wipe him down with a wet cloth and he likes it.

Giving a cat a bath is bad. Giving a cat a pill is the stuff of nightmares.

Yes, the real provocation is getting pills down the throat of the varmint. After all these years the medication we thought we’d gotten down her with much injury to ourselves she hid and then spit out behind a heavy chest. Pill after pill lined her secret witch’s coven. It brought me to tears of vexation. Cats always win.

Funny as all of the comments are, no one addressed the real challenge…. cat herding.

“A person that started in to carry a cat home by the tail was getting knowledge that was always going to be useful to him, and warn’t ever going to grow dim or doubtful.” —from Tom Sawyer Abroad by Mark Twain (1835-1910), nom de plume of Samuel L. Clemens, American writer and humorist

You might also appreciate Twain’s “A Cat-Tale”, made up as a bedtime story for his 2 little girls, which is riddled with puns. It’s quite short, so it’s most readily found in his excellent anthology Letters from the Earth.

In these awful times, it is restorative to be reminded of the good, decent Americans who influenced our beloved country. How we came to be so curdled with mean, spiteful varmints will be the first order in saving our country and never accepting such in the future.

Wow -must be a lot of cat owners here! Most likes and comments I’ve seen today!

herding cats!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pk7yqlTMvp8

I had to bathe one of my cats once. She shredded my rubber gloves and we both looked like we’d been through the spin cycle in the washing machine. After the 1st 30 seconds.

Outstanding!

I had to bathe my cat with a special soap when he had a skin condition. He didn’t like it, but submitted with reasonable grace. He was a pretty mellow cat.

I had to bathe my cats a few times when fleas got into the house- and had war wounds for quite a while afterwards!

The running of the cats was a catastrophe for the runners….

My son has a Maine Coon that he has bathed regularly since it was a kitten. Does help that Maine Coons have more of an affinity for water than most cats, but they don’t exactly love the stuff.

Nice tip of the cap to Booth Mr. Miller!

You had to have multiple cats to really appreciate it….we had 6 cats and a dog; had a bad septic system and dog got fleas and so did cats…there is still a nail in the wall at the place we lived where Tiger (a Morris look a like and 25 pounds of muscle) left it

He’s not wearing near enough armor.

I’m glad I never had to wash my 25 lb. cat!!!

I know a blonde that gave her cat a bath once and she said the worst part of if was getting all the hair off her tongue.

I love Wiley’s cats!