Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for April 02, 2020

And died of a heart attack from all the excitement

My spouse actually lets me have scissors. Of course my knees prevent running…

Hey at least those stair’s are going up and not down.

Well, where you are now, you don’t have to worry about that (as well as viruses).

The moral of the story: If you rip off your coat and tie and shout “Today’s the day baby!”, you go to heaven.

I never did anything wrong except for now… ??? Yeah, right.

his only regret is that he never got to juggle chainsaws…

… “Today’s the day, Baby!” and promptly stepped in front of a bus?

One way or another – he stepped in it.

That’s when his wife’s lover shot him!

You know, if you eat right, go to bed early, avoid stress, practice good hygiene and try to travel safely, you die in a nursing home after years of moaning and boredom.If you forget all that shite and merely live as a responsible adult, doing what you please, you may die a few years earlier and miss all that “fun.”

Death and taxes, my friends. Stay safe!

“You’ll be on your way up! You’ll be seeing great sights! You’ll join the high fliers who soar to high heights.” or "“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose.” Dr Seuss.

“Always lived a very quiet life, I ain’t never did no wrong.” Elvis.

The fellow apparently tried to catch up too quickly. If one wants to live free of cautions, one should start small and early. It takes practice, and you recover quicker when younger. Carpe diem… https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/47188-life-should-not-be-a-journey-to-the-grave-with

Isn’t it ironic.

It’s better to burn out, than fade away. At the same time, there’s no profit in stupidity. Gotta find that balance between the two.

When I get there, St. Peter’s going to ask, “You look terrible. What the hell happened to you!” I’ll respond, “Yeah, but it was one hell of a ride!”

As I look back on my life now, I have no regrets. I’ve made my share of mistakes, but I am still having fun.

Yup, it gets us every time. We toe the line, obey the rules while others around us do whatever they want and get away with it. Let us roll through one stinking stop sign and POW! Sheesh!

Unfortunately he didn’t wash his hands afterwards.

Just another YODO bird.

You Only Die Once.

I used to go running with scissors, but they could never keep up. So I started running with hedge clippers instead.

“And they cliiiimbing a staaaiiirway, to heaveeeeeen.”

wiley did a better one a few years ago of a man in a swim suit, skis a rubber floaty and party hat at the pearly gates with a sign hung on it saying “I’ll be back as soon as i can stop laughing”

Always listen to your Mother!

Death can be a b*tch. Don’t tempt it with arrogant human stupidity.

Looks like this is the segregated stairway.

" Well, I guess I won’t be trying that again! "

According to an unknown writer: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride! That definitely would be one way to be remembered.

“Don’t go swimming for 90/60/30 minutes after you eat” is a myth. It was first published in 1908 Boy Scout manual but no source for that has been found. There is no evidence that swimming has any different affect on a full stomach than any other form of exercise. Of course, it’s not good practice to stuff yourself and then run or swim or play football – your digestive system can only do so much when the rest of your body is super active. Here’s hoping we all can get back to the pools, tracks, gyms, and ball fields soon!

too many before reaching 62 money goes back into the pot retire at 62 I did been retired for 10 years loving it

Oooooopsy! It didn’t end the way he intended… :D

I’m the midnight bomber what bombs at midnight but needed a longer fuse baby!

So he died running with scissors immediately after a meal to swim in the pool in the middle of the street?

Wiley: Please send the original to Trump -promise him unlimited gold and virgins.

Given the gravitas of the current medical crisis, I’d say the timing of this cause of death comic was morbid.

Nothing worse than swimming with scissors.

Just be happy you are ascending.

Isn’t it funny that in our elementary school classrooms, our teachers preached safety, such as not running with scissors, yet in the back of the room there was a giant guillotine (a.k.a paper cutter) which you could practically decapitate a classmate.

He just forgot to watch out for that bus.

" Here, hold my beer "

Do people still believe the “swimming after eating” nonsense?

The 2nd, 3rd, and 4th person in line seem real happy to be there!

This one first came out on June 13, 1997… it on my birthday, reflected me perfectly, and has been on my refrigerator ever since to remind me to play a little more…

The REAL Stairway to Heaven!

https://www.journeyera.com/stairway-to-heaven-oahu-hawaii/

https://images.app.goo.gl/hpiGnf2aTWAZiz7r8 from the 1946 Powell/Pressburger film A Matter or Life and Death (aka Stairway to Heaven in the US)

Better late than never.

So, he never had Any Fun?

there are things i wished i had done throughout my life but not having done them i don’t know what i missed.