Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for December 28, 2024

“…Oh here comes that stuck-up Allen.”

Yeah, but they’re in a bar and only one of them has a cocktail with his name on it (doesn’t look like he’s drinking it though).

Everyone I know looks to a paint can opener to open a can of paint. Because using a screwdriver will destroy the edge of the the lid, and half the time, it won’t even get the lid off the can.

They are all screwed.

I hate Philips screwdrivers.

All three of them are relentlessly driven to do their jobs.

The big shot is getting replaced by Torx….love them!

I love that in the snack bowls are screws instead of peanuts

They’ll all end up in the same toolbox.

For those of you who don’t know, the advantages of the screws are as follows:

Flat head screws allow for more torque and can be tightened with more ‘enthusiasm’

Phillips head screws self-center when being loosened/tightened so they are better for situations that require occasional but repeated use.

And for those of you who are less fortunate to not have access to the superior Canadian tool: the Robertson square socket screwdriver, which is far less likely to strip the screw than a Phillips.

Screw that…

…let’s just order another round of screwdrivers.

I dunno, some + screws I use are just too big/small and my flathead gets the job done better with minimal damage to the screw itself.

Your failure to use the right tool for the job is not the fault of the tool when the head becomes stripped. Whether it’s slotted, phillips, square, torx, or any other of these mental disorder screws that some engineer with zero field experience “invents”.

Anybody got a Craftsman?

Is the big shot drinking vodka, orange juice and milk of magnesia?

Maybe they should be drinking vodka and orange juice?

The Big Shot appear to have a martini while the “Commons” are drinking beer. Just wait until the nuts show up.

So they are drinking a martini and two beers. If they drank screwdrivers would they be cannibals?

Got a big flat head in my kitchen drawer.

I have two paint can openers. Stores use to hand them out when you bought paint, then it was wooden stirring sticks, now nothing.

Say kids, while we’re being silly, what country will the orange baboon say he wants to grab next?

Patagonia? Macaronia? Macarena? Slobenia?

So much insanity and so little time, he’s 78 and the clock’s ticking.

Over 70+ years I have accumulated a number of each type, which is handy since I have tool cabinets with dozens of screws in each type and size. As is typical of most do it yourself types, I go with whatever works.

And then there are the screws that don’t need a driver, as they are designed to be put in with your fingers. I have heard them referred to as “thumb screws.”

Were these guys “Screw U” alumni?

All are graduates of the same college. The famous Screw U… also great sweatshirts.

Specialist screw head: One of my Christmas presents came firmly secured by a triangular screw head. Never seen one before, and hope to never see one again. I’ve never seen a triangular screw driver.

I recently saw a meme with Vlad Tepes (the Impaler, inspiration for Dracula) holding a skull and using it as a goblet. Someone asks, “Who’s skull is that?” “Some guy named Phillip.” “And what are you drinking from it?” “Vodka and orange juice.”

I think he’s just screwed!

Then don’t date a Torx bit.

The Phillips Head screwdriver is just as common as a Flat Head one; But running into one of those Star top screws when you least expect it is a real p*sser.

shouldn’t there be nuts in the bowls, not screws.

How about a paint can opener? I had a painting cart at work, to which I chained a paint can opener. With regular weekly use, they last 20 years if you don’t lose ’em.

Usually it’s males at the bar who are screw – drivers; females are generally more selective about who they let screw.

Very reminiscent of BIZARRO comics, by Dan Piraro and Wayno. Comics Kingdom or directly from Bizarro Dot Com.

Who ordered the special Drink «screwdriver«?

You have a point about not having a point.

Is that a JIS or Phillips?

I know it’s not a Pozidriv, as there’s no extra lines.

No Billy Joel tune up on the jukebox?

The Dutch Boy knows how to open a can of paint with a shoe horn; ask Sherwin Williams how to open a can of paint with a toe nail clipper.

Little shots are important.

A can opener works. No, not the sharp end.

Back in the day, there was Cross Point, Reed & Prince, and Philips. So you never had the right screwdriver.

When I used to race muscle cars it was easy to have one set of tools – Standard/Imperial, today’s domestic cars need both Standard and Metric tools. European and Japanese brands however love to have you spend on “Specialty Tools” which are expensive and unless you’re a pro who works on cars for a living is not worth buying.

You’d think instead of a martini he’d be having Milk of Magnesia and Vodka.

Beer and a martini? Shouldn’t they be drinking vodka and orange juice?!

Seems Ramiswamialarmy and the great Orange Fake had a lovers spat. Well, young love has it’s ups and downs. Rami left a ketchup packet on a chair and the fake sat on it. Stained his favorite pair of Robert Hall slacks. Looks like someone is sleeping on the couch tonight. Sad.

70 years old, construction my whole life and learned something yesterday. There are 3 types of Phillips screws, each slightly different but possibly why the driver slips sometimes. Some don’t taper to a point like most do. There is a flat spot at the bottom of the screwhead. Pointed driver hits that and the blades don’t make good contact so it slips.

Not long ago I had a water pump off a Continental forklift engine that had four counter sunk slotted screws on the back cover that were stuck fast. Sacrificial HF screwdriver welded on each side, break it loose, skinny wheel it off and repeat.

There’s a new breed of screwdriver, actually several. Torx et al.

He has a head for business

The framed celebrity photo is a nice touch.

Love the snack bowls!

Shouldn’t someone having a screwdriver??? ;-)

I will end forever the use of the H-1B as a cheap labor program, and institute an absolute requirement to hire American workers first for every visa and immigration program. No exceptions." – The Reality Show Con Artist March 3, 2016

“I have many H-1B visas on my properties. I’ve been a believer in H-1B. I have used it many times. It’s a great program.” – The Reality Show Con Artist 12/28/24

But MAGAts aren’t shizzit eating dumb @@@@@…….

I almost forgot, there are also screws out there which are made to be driven with slotted, Phillips, or Robertson. I’ve only run across them a couple of times.

It’s called “Appropriate Technology”. Not that I’m Mansplaining, of course …

Anything is better than a slotted screw head.

I used a church key bottle opener last time I opened paint cans.

I am reminded of a cartoon I saw as a youth: A bolt (with muscular arms & legs) chasing a nut (with shapely arms & legs) who is crying “No! Not without a washer!”

I do revenue property is high crime area. I secure the place with every kind of screw head, and use the longest I can find

The main reason those things caught on was FORD. He wanted something that would strip a screw rather than overtighten. We could have had the stars but no they did there job to well and right….

Since Wiley usually uses human characters, I would have expected this in Off the Mark, with Parisi’s tendency to anthropomorphize any inanimate object. Just being picky.