Pickles by Brian Crane for May 12, 2023

Seems reasonable

My dad has had a few of those. Don’t sound like fun.

Just to avoid drinking that horrible flush.

Maybe the world will come to his rear end.

2 words…. Colon Guard. Mail it in, you’re done!

It is such a simple procedure that can save your life. The stuff taken before to clean you out, has so improved, it is not has long as long or as much these days.

It beats the alternative!

I didn’t find the experience to be nearly as bad as some people make it out to be. The bowel flushing was somewhat unpleasant but not unbearable. The actual procedure was a snap since you’re under anesthesia the whole time.

It’s the prep for a colonoscopy that’s the huge inconvenience. The actual procedure is quite simple and fast.

The nurses will knock you out with an intravenous drug so you don’t feel anything, or you can decline it and watch it all on TV.

Sounds like for Earl things will be looking up.

Personally, I am 100% in Earl’s camp. I had one twenty years ago and the prep was so awful I was sick for a week. Plus I woke up halfway through it. Plus it actually was so harsh on my innards it actualy gave me colitis. So I’ve told every new doctor I don’t care if my colon falls out, I am never doing that again. I’ve been metaphorically reamed up my rumpus quite enough, thank you so much, and I’ll be darned if I’ll stand for the real thing.

so… not dead any more?

If the credit card company thinks he is dead then why go for torturescopy.

That’s the end of that gag!

Colonoscopy? Why for all the good they do, you might as well sti…

I had one, the prep is far worse than the actual procedure !

NRMC Portsmouth about 20 years ago. butchers. tore my colon under my liver. never again. read that consent form closely, or have a lawyer read it. you’re essentially absolving them of responsibility for manslaughter if they screw up. ymmv.

The idea, Earl, is that the colonoscopy makes it possible for your world NOT to come to an end due to colon cancer. So if— like Vince Lombardi, btw— you’d rather die soon than undergo an unpleasant procedure… Well, that’s kind of silly, isn’t it Earl?

I often think to myself that when a kid is growing up does he think to himself that he wants to be a proctologist and examine a%^holes when he grows up?

They keep promising tiny cameras you can swallow. No prep. I’m waiting for it.

Innuendo.

well, according to his bank, he’s dead. Sooooo.

Why not use Cologuard? It’s advertised on TV nowadays.

Just consider it as going in for a “cleanse.”

The prep always gets me into sub orbital flights. It does get me in the end though.

I’m with Earl on this one.

Anyone here have a non-sedation colonoscopy? This is the standard procedure outside the US. The discomfort is more psychological than physical. The advantage is once it is over you can get up and leave (decided not to use “go”)-no waiting for the propofol to wear off. Also, you do not have to bring anyone with you to drive you home. There is now a pill option Sutab-have to take a total of 24 pills and the downside is they are about $130 and may not be covered by insurance.

LOL, sounds like me! I DREAD those!

Worn-out colonoscopy joke. Yawn.

They have pills for the prep now. Just drink a lot of water with them. That other stuff made me sick.

Got that right Earl

A close friend of mine nearly died from stage 4 colon cancer. Her dr was incorrectly treating her for hemorrhoids. It went up into her bladder and she is not the same person she used to be after all the treatments she went through for years. Her memory is a mess, she tires easily, and she has been “cancer free” for 6 years. I will be back for my next colonoscopy in 5 years, since my last one was in January.

Yeah……. I HEAR YA

My sister just had one. It took her a couple days afterward to recover from the prep and anesthesia. She only weighs slightly less the 100 lbs, so that may be why. They had to give her a child’s dose of anesthesia.

I’m with Earl. lol.

My same sentiment! It’s the prep that’s the worst!

I have a Cologuard every there years in place of the scope. No prep, but the retrieval of the sample is not much fun.

Just don’t make any plans to go anywhere the day before!

It’s a necessary evil. I agree with Earl, though.

I recently applied for a mortgage. The loan officer required an incredible amount of financial information. Pages and pages. The last page I included wasthe photo of my colonoscopy. Couldn’t resist. ; >)

Ditto,earl…..

or the world will be coming to HIS end…

Well, he’s already deceased, so why should he do it?

It’s just a couple feet of camera stalk up the ol’ chute with a team of nurses standing around – each of them secretly hoping that there will be a brass ring around each bend in the tunnel.

That’s my plan for the next time. Brass ring! Red ribbon!

I figure that there oughta be some prize for having to be in the same room with my cro-magnon backside.

The stuff you have to drink….ugh….and then swoosh…………..

Hey Earl, undetected colon cancer is much worse than a colonoscopy.

My Doctor told me that I was too old, and why risk a perforated colon.

Earl may be too old for that…the recommendations stop at 75

Yours might.

I love Roscoe’s eyes last panel!

Speaking as a guy who has to have them every other year…they are nothing to be fearful of….the scope itself you really won’t feel as they will give you a sedative…the night before is a little uncomfortable but very tolerable…bring a tablet or tv into your bathroom to keep you occupied…. use warm water souse your private area and a little preparation H before you start ‘going’…and remember…any little discomfort is much much much easier than having colon cancer…. don’t think too much…. it’s not that bad…

I love colonoscopies but I have to wait 3 more years before I’m due to get another one. I have a nice warm bidet to sit on for the prep the night before

Drinking that liquid is bringing back some unpleasant memories.

I would like to let those tests slide by but the reality is not so good.

My low red blood cell count lead to two upper and one lower GI. (Lower sooner than scheduled.) It seems at 70+ I never have to do the lower again, but we will see. ;-)

The prep part the night before is awful. The procedure itself is nothing at all. You are knocked out and awakened minutes later. Barely a cramp, fixed by Tylenol if needed.

I’m with Earl on this one. The last one I had done and upon waking from the drug cocktail they gave me I felt disoriented and strangely violated. Also, I’m not sure but I think I’m now engaged to one of the nurses. She’s an attractive woman but I’m pretty sure she could take me in a fight.

I’m still waiting for the prep to wear off from the one they did ten years ago.

I reckon Earl’s “aged out” by now.

sure beats colon cancer!

Just did mine last week!

I can relate.

the stuff you have to drink is nasty. If you can, take the pill.

If you wait until you’re past a certain age they no longer bother asking you to take them. I think the idea is that you will likely be dead before the colon cancer takes hold.

I put off my first colonoscopy for years and years. Then when I had the first one they found cancerous cells in the polyps they extracted. Fortunately, the cancer had not spread. I now go every other year without fail. The slight inconvenience is well worth it.

You go for it, Opal. Leave him to choose for himself.

They’re not really that bad, even the prep isn’t as bad as it used to be. You’re not aware of anything going on. The only thing I told them all beforehand was not to talk about me behind my b*tt!

My sentiments exactly…

For me it was one and done.

It’s a bit dated now, but try to get a copy of Dave Barry’s account of going through the prep and having the colonoscopy. It is hilarious!! I’ve tried reading it aloud to friends or relatives who are facing the procedure, but I cannot finish it for laughing out loud and interrupting the reading. It seems to work best with folks who really enjoy “toilet” humor. Good luck, Earl!

I got my 1st colonoscopy about 5 years ago – actually, they put cameras down both ends, to check my entire gastro system. Then prep was disgusting, and I promised myself that when (not if!) the results came back clean, I would never do that again.

The results were a nasty stomach ulcer and a 40cm precancerous polyp (which was removed when they found it, thankfully).

I get them every other year now. Not taking chances with cancer.

Fortunately, for my last one I got to do the Cologuard

I had one at 53; upon rousing from the anesthesia, declared I’d have to have a lobotomy before I’d do it again — so far, it’s been 21 years, no lobotomy/no colonoscopy.

My husband had two and that is the end of that. Opal for Earl he is not the only man who states no.

lame excuse, Earl

This is how every guy feels about it, Pearl. At your age, you should know this by now.

Brief as it was, during mine, it was the best sleep I’d had in a long time!

The “amnesiac” drug they administer is wild!

Me too.

Isn’t he old enough to stop doing them?