Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 01, 2018

I honestly did not see “I pledge a leech, aunts, to the flake of the United States of America” coming before I got to the second to the last panel. Happy Independence Day, fellow American readers of “Pearls Before Swine.”

I think that Stephan has set a new low with this one.

Thanks for ruining Independence Day, Stephan

That didn’t just come out of left field. It came from at least halfway up the grandstands.

Someone is leeching the comedy here. And that is no flaky fluke. So says my ant from who is in an independent state this day.

“AHH! LEECHES!” “Oh, that’s only comedy leeches, they feed on the comics section of the newpaper.”

And Happy Canada Day to our Canadian neighbors.

This comic is being bled to death.

Boy, Pastis, you must have worked hard on that one. Did you pull a muscle with that stretch?

Thank you for making a sucker out of all of us.

I was sure we were headed for “its the leach I could do.”

Happy 4th of July!!!! (3 days early)

We can see the truck stopping across the tracks; we can hear the train horn blowing; everyone knows what’s coming, but all we can do is sit there and watch it happen.

Miss Buttinsky wants you to live a long, rewarding life with your crazy column. Give Pig, Gators, Goat, and everyone else who struggles with you my everlasting thanks. M.P.

You have to admit, this is the first time anyone has used a leech in a punchline.

To preserve it they should use a non-nutritive cereal varnish.

For all the work it took to contrive this punchline, wouldn’t it be easier to think up something that’s actually funny?

Toon’ boy, that’s SO BAD that it’s actually good!!

worst ever and that’s saying a lot

omg.

I hope you won’t be accused of being un-American because of this.

Pig’s aunts may be very patriotic, but I would want some very good documentation on that flake before I make a donation. It sounds flakey to me.

My Corn Tree ’tis of thee

Stephan actually worked hard on that one and it came way out of left field. Oy.

“Get a job, sir. Do what your parents did” – Mr Lebowski

P.B.S. has hit a new low in bad puns…

I await Pastis to have someone reminiscing about early history of Ling Ling and Ping Ping. You know…“In the panda’s day”.

Wouldn’t the “Flake of the United States” be the current occupant?? I’ve never seen anyone flakier…

Reading this strip often reminds me of two individuals that I like to refer to as “The Brain Trust”. These two would often discuss American History. Listening to these two would make your head explode. These two think that George Jefferson was either the first or second president. They also seem to forget that Independence Day (4th Of July) and Thanksgiving are American Holidays. They would often wonder if other nations celebrated Independence Day and Thanksgiving like “us Americans” or if “they exploded something else” or “ate something other than Turkey.”

It is said that on 4 July, 1776, George III recorded in his diary that nothing important had happened that day.

Ignore the naysayers, Stephan. Nothing like a good shaggy dog story to start the day. And I pledge to substitute this new and improved opening line the next time I find myself reciting the Pledge of Allegiance.

As Obi-Wan Kenobi might have said, “May the Fourth be with you!”

I though the flake of the United States had orange hair?

I thought that was how native speakers of Castilian Spanish said it.

Crunch, crunch, crunch.Tastes more like a Nacho to me.

I know that a lot of people don’t like the “punny” strips Pastis does, but really, they’re some of my favorites. As a dad, the puns are usually the groan-inducing kind told by fathers everywhere, and I love them!

So much effort for so little reward.

almost had me as confused as to whether THIS was the holiday weekend or if next weekend is.

“If there’s anythin’ I hate in this world it’s leeches—filthy devils,” – Bogart in “The African Queen” (One of several amazing things produced in 1951)

I can leach some of the fun out of this:1776 Declaration of Independence signed1894 Corn flakes invented

I still say that “Ferret’s Elf” was his best ever worst!

I think THE Flake of the United States of America wears a blue cap!

What say we all show up at Pastis’s studio to show our appreciation of his latest pun? I’ll bring the water balloons if someone else will bring the cream pies…

I took a Hispanic friend to his first baseball game. Afterwards, when his wife asked how he liked it, he said, “It was Great! Before the game started, everyone stood up and sang, ‘Oh, Jose, can you see?’”

I’m certain now, Pastis will die alone and unloved.

I took a knee for this pun.

But Rat, that doesn’t look like Batiuk.

Only a leech will attach to the flake…

They say a pun is the lowest form of humor. It may have hit a new low.

The current pledge is rather different from the original, and that itself is quite recent.

Original from the very tail end of the 19th century:

“I pledge allegiance to my Flag and the Republic for which it stands, one nation, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.”

The words “under God” varied by location for when they were added. The earliest did so as early as 1954, but I can not recall that being said in our school till almost ten years afterward.

History:

http://www.ushistory.org/documents/pledge.htm

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/made-by-history/wp/2017/11/03/the-ugly-history-of-the-pledge-of-allegiance-and-why-it-matters/?utm_term=.56aaceda87e7

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-man-who-wrote-the-pledge-of-allegiance-93907224/

I thought it was actually pretty funny. But I’m old and senile.

What lucky individual of the 535 members of Congress (or 192 Democrat members) is Pig pledging to Trump?

You’d be surprised how many kids think the pledge includes the phrases, “I led the pigeons,” “to the wee puppet for Richard Stands” and “one nation and a vegetable.” I’m not kidding! There’s even a book.

Oh good, Stefan! You received the “Songs of the Season” collection Hatchet Jack’s hapless final victim managed to send out 8 sets of from BMG before Redford filed his most recent block buster claim.

I guess it would be wrong to want to see Cartoon-Boy not only drawn but also drawn-and-quartered? That a pun was coming was totally obvious from panel 1; the only suspense was, how BAD would it be? And this one really was pretty bad….

Ahh, Pastis … you continue to outdo yourself with these puns. Please do not stop! [smile]

What if the strip used a seemingly meaningless situation to make us expect a pun, and then did something completely different?

First Pearls I ever saw. Been a fan ever since.