Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 30, 2019

The superiority of being miserable.

DRINK kale? No thanks.

Add more joy, add beer !

don’t give in, Fred, to the crunchy, fried, fattening delicious onion rings!

Didn’t know you could drink kale.

Is a member of the spandex mafia about to cross over into the forbidden land of onion rings?

Little does Jef or Fred realize, Joy serves Pig his onion rings.

Pig is on the Marie Kondo diet.

“Extra grease”? I’d say more like ‘extra love.’ And when is that a bad thing? More love please!

No, Fred. Take it from me. Joy is not an option, even if you like onion rings. They, too, will be a disappointment.

I hate all of you cyclits. What, they’ll take that as a compilment

Jef may be superior physically, but his grammar could use a little improvement.

And yet it IS possible to eate kale: the German/Dutch/Scandinavian way, voilà: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gr%C3%BCnkohlessen

I forgot to tell that Grünkohlessen involves much beer and schnapps…..thus: joy to the world !

We can cycle back to this one Jef.

What Jef is doing is Kale abuse.

“Frazz” instead of “Fred” would’ve be nice.But maybe “Fred” is an allusion.

Pig’s words have the ring of truth!

Cyclists have rules (http://www.velominati.com/), rule #5 being particularly important, but fortunately kale consumption isn’t mandatory!

You know you aren’t going to get out of this life alive, so you might as well enjoy what it has to offer while you’re here….

Jef and Fred do not spark joy. Throw them out!

Cycling brings me joy. Onion rings also brings me joy.

Resist temptation and drink only the Kale-Aid!

Pig you need a Cheeseburger to go with those onion rings (More Joy ! ) ……. Croc Power !

You don’t really live much longer if you eat healthy, it is just that you think you are as time drags on eternally when you exercise. 1 minute of exercising is like a month long.

Mr. Pastis is giving us cyclists an undeserved slap. The multiple winner of the World’s hardest, craziest ultramarathon, The Race Across America, was won by Lon Haldeman; and he did it on junk food. One of his kale-drinking competitors confessed to complete demoralization when he saw Haldeman pull into a McDonalds.

I don’t get why Pastis has such a vendetta against cyclists. I’m not hard core or anything, but I like taking the bike out. I also like onion rings and beer.

Cyclists around me drink beer. There’s about 16 micro-breweries along the W&OD Trail in northern Virginia. There’s 4 breweries along a bike trail in DC.

Many hate Beemer drivers. In Boca Raton, snooty cyclists are who Beemers hate.

Fans of kale should see today’s (04/30) “Heathcliffe” kartune!

Jef’s buddy should be Ffred.

Kale is good – you just have to cover it with enough butter and salt.

Reminds me of the opening scene of “The Road to Wellville” where Bridget Fonda upbrades the man sharing their table on the train for eating oysters. “Their in their own piss, piss!” Great movie.

I don’t want your onion rings, Pig. I want you!

Could not agree more that people who are driven by ego and competition do not tend to be happy people. But as for healthy food, it can be way more delicious than junk food if you know how to cook. And being healthy keeps one a lot happier than being sick.

Fred is freaking out just like PIG always does!

I see Fred going to the dark side. MMMMMM!! Onion rings with extra grease!!!!

I’m a cyclist and I love onion rings. My onion rings, however, are superior to yours.

It’s “we cyclists”, Jef.

We drink kale, not us drink kale.

Well… holier-than-thou people aside, fit & healthy people are happier. Not hard to find goodies that fit into the lifestyle.

Jef really IS an insufferable @#%, isn’t he??

Last week I saw a bicyclist smoking. It was at night, and it was the only light he was putting off.

God knows I love healthy food, but I’m having those onion rings for BREAKFAST!

Still don’t know…..

Beer is more fun.

Feh… speaking for myself and most of my fellow cyclists, nothing is off the menu! (except kale and quinoa)

Must be Triathletes.

Make that donut with extra grease, this one’s for the chief of police.

I never read the book or saw the movie, but is this what “Lord of the Rings” is all about?

The only thing worse than kale is Brussels sprouts. Ugh.

I loved my two wheelers as a kid growing up, and even more when I found out you could get them with an engine and they were called Hogs!

Thanks for the suggestion – White Castle here I come!

Interesting thought… why are people who ride Bicycles called Cyclists, but the people who ride Motorcycles are called Bikers?

Shouldn’t it be the other way around???

I get joy from riding my bicycle, beautiful scenery, raised heart rate, burn calories, drink more beer later.

Now I have this urge to go to a local drive-in for a double order of onion rings. At my age, I’ll take my joy where I can get it.

Cheese on onion rings? Whoa whoa whoa… is that an option?!

while us cyclists?-OMG. It’s we.

hahaha! This is a WINNER! You totally captured it!

Smoothie

Yes… onions rings do “spark joy.”

If more folks had joy in their lives, “what a wonderful world this would be.”

Good going, Pig. That’s better than a hit and run.

I was number 333!

Choose joy! If you have a choice, choose joy. Always.

Is it the onion rings that bring joy or the grease in them? With me, it’s definitely the latter!

Fred the Apostate! Jef the Cyclist will have to get him off the road now!

Pig, on the other greasy hand, has made a convert! Evangelize the whole biker gang, Pig!

And cyclists wonder why everybody hates them.

Give into the dark side Fred,you know you want to!

No way those guys could get 600 kcal/hour of fuel out of kale.

Come to think of it . . . I don’t recall “Jef the Cyclist” ever being depicted on or near a bicycle.