Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 18, 2019

I always thought that was the reason to take up drinking during the day.

I’m wondering if this is supposed to be a President Rat strip, or if I’m reading too much into it.

Rat’s new anger management – Whack a little ball, chase after it, repeat.

why else, Goat?

He’s got it backwards. Golf (and the drinking) is about avoiding the rest of life.

Rat, have you considered getting clubs that fit?

Also, it really irritates me when golf is used as a verb.

Whoever said, “I’m off to football”?

Paris is obviously not a golfer if he didn’t realise that already.

And here I always thought golf was a disease.

Once again, another Stephan treasury comment. “I recently started playing golf. It takes a long time.”

Immediate access to a bagful of blunt instruments is pretty much Rat’s style anyways.

Not an exact quote, bu PG Wodehouse said that if Cleopatra had had to spend an hour trying to get out of a sand trap on the 14th hole, she might have been a bit less stuck up.

The best part of golf is driving the golf cart ! ….. Croc Power !

Why bother walking around to find your ball? Try pool! The ball is right there on the table all the time.

Learn the wisdom of bored Scottish shepherds.

Stephan you need to stick to cartoons! You are totally ignorant about the wonderful game of golf!

MAGA = Millionaire A****** Golfing Again.

The Scots invented two pastimes: golf and curling. Both seem to involve alcohol.

I can’t tell you who said it first, but…

“The point of golf is to hit the ball as few times as possible. I take that to its logical conclusion and don’t hit it at all.”

Also applies to white ball with red stitching, large orange ball, or brown ball shaped like Stewie’s head. Black rubber disk, too.

Remember Rat concentrate and be the ball….nananananana

RAT is right about this! Hitting a little white ball around, just to try to get a hole in one….

Maybe that’s why all Presidents play golf.

Correction: Best explanation of ANY sport ever. . . .

Golf is especially fun when you use balls decorated with the faces of people you hate.

Golf, like fishing, is a way to get away from the rat race. Rat should know that.

To paraphrase Mark Twain … Golf – the definition of a good walk spoiled.

Hard to think of a better reason for golf.

Has anyone noticed that “golf” spelt backward is “flog”? Apt.

I just want to see the swing on a club that’s twice as tall as rat is.

Golf is just another reason to socialize with friends and drink beer. My friends play golf for fun. Good exercise, laugh about it when they miss the mark. Those who take it more seriously than that aren’t playing golf; they’re working. You could not get me out there in the middle of 200+ people trying to sink a 2" ball in a 3" hole from 250 yards away (actual diameters and distances unknown because… meh). Same goes for any professional sport. Center of attention of “win or fail” is not my idea of fun. I pity the guy that misses the wining field goal or last-at-bat. Let’s instead just run our heads full steam into a brick wall or sit on a cactus. Sounds more fun. ; )

I learned that long ago c. 1957 in gym trying to golf a wiffle-ball. As an AT&T middle-manager at subordinate ratings meetings, e.g., The American Club, while my peers golfed, I rode my bike. None of them were promoted.

To learn the true origin of Golf, go to You Tube and enter “Robin Williams – Golf” Be prepared to LYAO.

George Carlin had the perfect description for golf, but I can’t post it here.

You make me laugh everyday, Pastis, but not today. There’s a reason why the game of golf has endured for 562 years and it’s certainly not because it makes life pointless. On the contrary, it’s a metifore for life.

I don´t need to play golf. My vocabulary is bad enough already.

Is that why Congressmen spend so much time on golf courses?

379!

I can’t remember, but a comedian a number of years ago did a routine about golf. He said it was a stupid game. You took a ball and placed it upon the ground. Then you took a stick and beat the thing away from you, far away. So far, so good; you didn’t want the ball. But then, you walk after it! You had the ball. You had it in your hand, but you didn’t want it. You sent it away. In baseball, you beat the ball away from you, BUT the other team has nine players on the field to catch the ball in flight, or to field it, and return it to you. But you don’t want the ball. That’s why you beat it away from you with a stick. In football and basketball, you want the ball. You cling tenaciously to the ball and try and prevent the other team from taking the ball away from you. But in golf, you don’t want the ball, but you go after it. Why? To put it, by means of a smaller stick, into a little hole. And then, then, you pick it up, beat it away from you again, to put it into another little hole? It was in a little hole. What was wrong with the little hole it was in? He said it was a stupid game.

Rats generally are existentialists. As are all animals, come to think of it.

But, as I point out to people who wonder if I’m a fisher-person: I can take a nice walk by the river without carrying a long stick with a snaggy place on it… and I don’t have to worry about being made to look stupider than a fish. Same thing applies to golf, but even more so.

Now we know why Trump plays all the time…

You are wrong, Goat. There is no sufficient explanation for golf.

So there really is a reason to play golf.

I’m guessing the creator doesn’t like golf too much…

If I’m gonna hit a little white ball around… I’d rather do it on a pool table.

Nothing we do has meaning, so anything that has meaning is what we do

It also allows you to swear loudly and at length in public.