Breaking Cat News by Georgia Dunn for November 02, 2020

Science!

Yes, we all know this…

A bit like when you’re lying in bed trying to decide if you really need to use the toilet and then the cat walks over your bladder.

So proud, Elvis drops with such grace and lands smack dab on target…..the woman who dared to make him the pirate ballerina of his youth. He now has his Revenge!

To be fair, 12 pounds is already on the heavy/big side, as far as cats go. XD;

Woobat, my Coon mix, somehow manages to spread his 22 pounds out so I barely notice him arriving. The Siamese Squid, on the other paw, does exactly what Elvis does – on any portion of my anatomy that he cares to concentrate on.

Why is that they walk on your tenderest body part and then pitty-pat with nails fully extended.

This one might be more editorial comment than cartoon. Poor woman.

Elvis is doing a cattonball.

12 lbs, if focused on a spot of .06 square inches, will give a pressure of 200 lbs/square inch. And that is without taking Elvis’ velocity into account.

Gentlemen think they are lucky if their rib cage takes the impact.

My two run over me when they’re playing chase. I get stampeded. For little animals with soft paws, they make an unheavenly racket when they run through the house. Sounds like a herd of buffalo. They run over me chasing one another sometimes two or three times. I feel like I’ve been in the middle of a Clydesdale stampede.

Dang Cat wrestling escapades.

Sternum! At least twice a night one of my cats can do that CAtsting of a magic Weight Spell directly to my sternum!

One of my smaller cats had very tiny paws, and if she stood on my chest the pressure points was more intense than any of my cats who were larger (and heavier), but who had much larger paws! It’s all down to lbs/sq in (kg/sq cm) ;-)

Of course you know, everything and everyone is a cat bed.

OT: Has anyone heard from muffi lately? Sending out hugs and prayers. (I posted this very late on Sunday night so wanted to ask again when more folks will see it, thanks!)

Always aimed directly at those vulnerable points between the ribs. This is truth encased in cuddly fur and weighty bones.

OT. Yen

Elvis hind toe beans!

whoa

“…made entirely of elbows” LOL!!

Here comes Elvis singing “watch this, Goldie”

“Be-Bop-A-Lula”, “Baby What I Say”

Here comes Elvis singing, “I Gotcha, Woman”

Down from the couch back, trying to make her day

He got the action, he got the motion

Yeah, the cat can play

Dedication, devotion

Turning all the right moves into dismay

He do the song about his sweet carin’ woman

He do the song about her strife

He do the walk, time the jump just right

Yeah, he do the walk of life

And after all the violence and troubled talk

Here’s just a song ’bout nails that cut like a knife

You do the walk, yeah, you do the walk of life

Hmm, you do the walk of life

(Mark Knopfler – Dire Straits)

professional wrestling elbow drop spotted!

is that Macho Man off the ropes?

Belle does not use elbows. She becomes a semi-gelatinous black furry goo that lay’s across Marie’s face in bed, trying to smother her.

Kitty serial killer?

You have two feet, Woman. One for balance, the other for gently booting plump pussycats out of your way! :-)

Flying Elvis! Sometimes cats just “drop in”announced for cuddles. We’ve all experienced this.

Yum Yum likes to ooze down my front until she reaches my lap.

Sounds like one of my mom’s cats. He’s about 15 or so pounds, maybe a bit more, and when he stands on your stomach he’s able to somehow gain an extra 50 lbs and transfer all that weight into just one paw. I swear he’s almost touched my spine when he digs in.

True. Dogs are even worse, especially when they’re big dogs that think they’re small.They get on you, and you can’t move.

Finnegan is about 12 pounds, and loves to stand on the most sensitive spot on my ankle when I curl up on the couch. If I’m lying in bed, he stands on my boob.

Topper my big black cat (15lbs) was very gentle and lightweight when walking/sitting on people, it was the lighter weight ones you had to worry about. 9 – 12lbs felt like 40-50 until they found their comfort spot. It was when you wanted to move them that they became 2 ton blocks of concrete. My collie dogs are the ones with cringe-worthy elbows. ( yes, my dogs are lap dogs.) I guess they take after me – I have “Gordie Howe” elbows, too. Don’t stand to close!

OT: Puck’s post-holiday letdown

https://www.instagram.com/p/CHEPPXbJ-AC/

“A cat made entirely of elbows”!!!! Oh, Burt, you’re so wry.

Georgia posted a picture of Puck, he is sad that Pucktober is over:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CHEPPXbJ-AC/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

Cats are masters of gravitic control. A cat that does not want to be picked up can alter local gravity conditions to make themselves either feel as heavy as neutronium or light enough to levitate out of your arms. They are keen observers of gravity, constantly testing local conditions.

The chi of the cat merges with the chi of the planet, then attaches itself to the exact center of the Earth. Feel free to move all you can, human.

It seems that elvis has his own special power, lupin can go invisible, elvis change his weight at will.

Plop!

Weenies, I once had a horse lay her head on my lap. It weighed over a hundred pounds.

Most male cats weigh approximately 12 pounds, if they are free to exercise and develop their full growth. Females normally weigh 1 to 2 pounds less, because they are slightly smaller.

I got one of those this AM. Katie didn’t get the memo of the time change. She got me up a 0600A instead of 0700A.

My cat NEVER misses walking on my “tender parts”!

Norma Bates Kitteh can increase her weight from a normal 5 pounds to 500 or so at will.

“Target acquired!”

Catabunga!

Panel 2, Elvis on all fours! With tie hanging down! Okay, on all threes: he has one paw raised.

Multiply by 11.

Many years ago I was lying in bed and Sarah was sleeping at the foot of the bed. Well, I thought that was the case. I had to reach down and adjust the “equipment.” Let’s just say that seconds later tears were flowing as she landed a direct hit on the target.

I think this is a universal cat talent.

Oh, yes! When ten-pound Marvynne jumps on and off my chest when demanding dinner, it is a definite OOF moment!

Today is:

Look for Circles Day: Of course, if you are going around in circles, this is hardly challenging. Circles are curious geometric shapes because the ratio of their circumference to their diameter is irrational, which may be the real reason for crop circles. Speaking of π, they are generally circular, not square as some mathematicians seem to think. Everyone knows it’s cornbread that is square.

Cookie Monster Day: Cookies, of course, are generally circular, especially those produced in factories from largely synthetic ingredients. Real cookies, made by real bakers from real ingredients, are more irregular, which is not to say irrational. Cookie Monster does not, however, discriminate, as he is a nondenominational gourmand. He may be somewhat irrational when it comes to cookies, but who isn’t?

Do not confuse him with his evil twin, Eggbert, who is a website programmer who wants to give you lots of cookies you really don’t need or want. Didn’t you learn as a child never to accept cookies or candy from strangers?

National Deviled Egg Day: I’ve never cared for hard boiled eggs except in egg salad, or as a garnish in potato salad or other salads. Deviled eggs, however, are delightful. Ever noticed that delightful things are often associated with evil? In this case, it is nothing but a slanderous smear. Hard boiled eggs smell and taste of sulfur, i.e., brimstone, which is definitely associated with the nether regions and the devil. Deviled eggs might have a slight tang of sulfur, but they have been blessed, beautified, and even sanctified by the addition of other tasty ingredients. They should be called “Divine Eggs.”

Note: Eggs are not circular. They are ovoid. And deviled eggs are nothing to ovoid. Do not egg me on, or this will get worse.

You forgot the part of being able to become a hot sack of liquid lead and the ability to sound like a herd of elephants!

Lupin the little rebel at work: https://www.instagram.com/p/CHGHsNLpEOD/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

My Felix, when he was half the cat he is now, made a sport of base-jumping onto me from my tall dresser. Just guess where he landed…

Now he weighs in at +16#… thank cat he’s gotten too fat to jump atop my dresser any more!

Saxon, my avatar, measures 35" from nose to tail tip and weighs 16 pounds. Ribs? Those are for amateurs! Hitting a sleeping human’s full bladder with pin-point accuracy, now that takes practice!

Cats can control their density.

Cats turn into gazellephants at night.

Someday they’ll invent a cat made entirely out of kitty beans…

Wilamena the Radio Cat was half-Siamese and always weighed 9 pounds. https://www.dropbox.com/s/2qjown0pivk8yea/Wilamena%20weighs%209%20pounds.jpg?dl=0

I am sure cats generate higg’s bosons and create their own gravity fields.

They also have an unerring ability to find the bladder.

6 am bladder landings are worse.

Now imagine adopting a 22-pound cat. She can be very painful when she wants to.

My jelly belly kitty weighs in at 15 pounds. At her heaviest she weighed 19. I had to put her on a diet. ;)

Cat physics like many things about the species is weird.

That was today’s contestant, Elvis, in Leaping Lessons from Lupin!!

We’ll be right back after this word for Pain Relief Balm …

Yup, Smokey used to do the same thing when she didn’t want to be moved. She’d weigh like seven to sixteen pounds and suddenly she’d be as heavy as a fifty pound sack of potatoes, or more.

He got you good, Woman.

Kitten Rescue Update!

Last week, a kitten was found with her paws & tail frozen to the wheel / tire of a semi-trailer during a Denver snowstorm – she was rescued, and is being treated at the Denver Dumb Friends League.

The people at DDFL are now having a naming contest for her:

https://www.ddfl.org/kitten-naming-contest/

You can vote for a name already entered, or enter one of your own; voting closes Wed. afternoon at 5:00pm Mountain time. The frontrunner appears to be “Elsa” – other names are generally cold- or tire-related. However, “Beatrix” has 7 votes at this time (including mine)!!!

(Actually, I think she looks like “Fargo” in the Tavicat comic….)

The ribs I don’t mind, it’s the…. “girls” if you know what I mean. Had a 14 lb gray and white cat years ago who would jump down on me from the headboard of the bed to wake me up. Landed on “the girls” every time, paws first. What a way to wake up…. Though I do have to admit my better half has even more sensitive areas that he really doesn’t want walked over by a cat with claws extended!

This belongs herehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yR2eZGzRt3g

had a Scottish Terrier who had this ability (sans claws of course).

gravity works differently for cats

Our Puck would slip onto the edge of the water bed, tip toe from the head end to the foot end (I’d be brought to almost awakened by the movement, not the sound). Then he’d leap to top of the chest of drawers. I could feel the tension rising as he planned his next move.

I knew his sister and “cousin” were side by side in the bedroom doorway, watching the proceedings, as they would do every weekend morning that we would try to sleep in.

I’d look up just in time to see Puck Leaping In! He’d land between Hubby and me for a micro-second before leaping off again. Now our waterbed was just a big bag of water with a heater under it; no baffles or walls to slow the flow of water.

yep. Hubby and I would be sloshed out of bed while the kitty paws went skittering around 2 corners to wait – patiently – for the breakfast that was their due.

Oh, and it was all innocence and piety as 3 sets of cat’s eyes turned to me when I stumbled into the kitchen. It was breakfast time, of course!

Ours was 19 lbs, slim and trim. Poluvious had paws the size of a woman’s fist—and as gentle as a newborn.

I love seeing Elvis walk on all fours! He’s got such a sophisticated prance!

I would have thought if it was any of them, it would have been ‘actually a small horse’ Lupin…

what is this? Bcn wrestling with the woman.