I think this is sexist. I’m told by friends that guys are just as hard to understand — by gals — as gals are by guys. I think it comes down to what feels important. See also “how to be successful in sales”.
We men are simple creatures, what we say is what we mean, women chose to interpret it in many convoluted ways, usually it comes out from them to be mean and derogatory about women.
I’ve long opined that, from the perspective of many women, men are clueless simpletons who are occasionally somewhat useful, entertaining, and even necessary. Men, OTOH, commonly view women as inscrutable crazies who are nevertheless somewhat useful, entertaining, and even necessary. Both have their points because both of their perspectives are too often too true.
What is it George Carlin said? Men are stupid & women are crazy…the reason why women are crazy, is because men are stupid…??? (Though I’ve known plenty of the v-v scenarios!)
I’m not sure men understand men any better than they understand women. And I’m not sure women understand women any better than they understand men. I base this on 6+ decades of living with both men and women. I have never understood half the men I encounter, and my extensive network of female family and friends seem to have very little understanding of each other.
On the other hand, there are some differences. Males tend be comfortable by themselves or in company with others but not speaking much. Women tend to be more communal and choose to talk with each other much more. I have noticed also (though this is just a probably biased observation with no scientific merit) that men tend to make a plan and vary from it only grudgingly while women tend to make plans yet constantly revise or look for alternatives even as the plan is being carried out.
I read a study in SciAm that concluded that women’s and men’s brains are not only “built” differently, but that men and women use their brains differently.
Tests involved taking EEGs on both male and female mathematicians as they solved problems.
Although on paper, their derivations were the same, they used different areas of their brains to solve the problems.
Men’s processing tends to be centralized. Women’s processing tends to be distributed. Both methods have their advantages.
A friend worked for a pharmaceutical company when Viagra was in the headlines. I asked her when they were going to have a female equivalent. She said they have been trying their best, but the female libido is overwhelmingly complex.
Seems there are no up/down buttons on the men’s side. Does that mean the down arrow will bring one of the cars down. And if it’s the left hand car, does he have to decide if he wants to be taken for a ride or will he punch it again and hope the right hand car descends?
Probably be better all around if he just walks to the nearest bar and has a long philosophical talk with himself over really good Scotch.
This has all been sort of fun to read. Lots of talking points … not too different from listening to sports/political talk. Outside of counting testicles and ovaries, men and women vary in height, weight, logic skills, aggression, meekness, trustworthiness, and dozens of other areas designated as gender specific. Some are inherited; and some are acquired. None of us will live long enough to understand all those factors for an entire population.
It’s enough to understand a few individuals who are important in your life. Trying to “understand” or “fix” an individual who is on the wrong side of a 60-40 division or even a 90-10 split is a disservice to that person and a waste of time and energy. It may even be why we are inventing new genders at an accelerated rate.
Jock was walking on his favorite beach in Queensland when he spotted some shiny metal sticking up out of the sand. On inspection, it turned out to be an old oil lamp. He picked it up and brushed it off, and in doing so he released the genie who’d been trapped inside.
“Hi, there”, said the genie. “I’m an ancient genie who’s been trapped for way too long in that tiny little lamp, and I want to thank you properly for freeing me. May I grant you a wish?”
“Um, isn’t that supposed to be THREE wishes?”, asked Jock.
“Come on, dude, don’t be greedy. I was just an apprentice genie in the first place. That’s how they trapped me so easily in this crummy little lamp. Smash the crap out it if you would, by the way. God, I hate that thing! Anyway, all I’ve got in me is one wish. What’ll it be?”
Jock paused a bit in thot. “Well”, he finally said, “I’ve always gotten on real well with me mate Bob. He’s my brother, y’know, but he up and took off for America nearly a decade ago and now he lives near Hollywood. Wanted to break into acting and all, but it hasn’t been going well and he can’t afford to fly back and visit. I myself am terrified of flying, so I guess what I’d like most is a big long highway from here in Brisbane up to Los Angeles so I can drive my Holden up there to surprise him.”
“Are you deaf, man? Didn’t you hear me say that I was only an APPRENTICE genie? Do you know how much work a highway all the way across the Pacific Ocean would involve? It would be a challenge for the greatest genies of all time! Now get real and ask me for something reasonable.”
“Oh, OK. Sorry. Umm, how about if you can let me understand women?”
It isn’t so much about understanding as respecting people as individuals. The human race seems obsessed with categorizing things — everything has to fit in a nice neat box. And when things don’t, then we get defensive. We have spent centuries classifying plants and animals — had them all pretty well tied into nice little boxes (kingdom/phylum/class/order/family/genus/species) and then DNA came along and showed us just how wrong we were. So we add some in between (e.g., super-species, subspecies). Our cultures and societies develop class systems, hierarchies — upper, middle, lower class; white-collar, blue-collar and people get pigeonholed into them based on where they are from, where they live, what job they do. We have long placed men and women in two categories — based on their physical appearance and forcing them into shape by customs, laws, peer pressure, humiliation, etc. Now we are learning, through DNA studies, that it isn’t that simple — not every person with a female appearance fits the woman box; not every male fits in the male box. We need to stop trying to shove people into the boxes that society has invented and let them find their own shape. Treat people as individuals and respect their right to be themselves. If you do so, then ‘understanding’ is much easier, because you aren’t trying to fit them into a box.
Step 1 to understanding women….. DO NOT ASSUME THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!!! It is easier to spend a lifetime trying to understand one woman than trying to make sense of all women in only 12 steps.
humor between the male and female is different, too. Men and boys will frequently laugh at body humor. If it comes out of the body, especially if it smells bad, it is potentially funny. Women will quietly watch a slapstick show while a man is rolling off of his chair with laughter.On the other hand, look at Romantic Comedies that tend to appeal to women. Much more relationship driven, although a clever stage fall will make a gal chuckle, too.
Humans have gender differences in behavior. If you look at it in a cultural context, neither gender is more mysterious. Men have a tendency to have trouble understanding people who aren’t men.
Only question I have about guys is, “Why neckties?” Society survived the revelation that women have legs (and they fit into pants!), isn’t it time for a change?
I am so tired of this. This is true simply because we are not allowed to be complex. Men have feelings, but cannot acknowledge them in nearly any way, shape or form. And the saddest thing is most women want this, too.
War and hardness shaped the Earth. Now it is time to grow a heart and take care of it.
Kveldulf over 2 years ago
Does the lower arrow point to the trash bin?
Concretionist over 2 years ago
I think this is sexist. I’m told by friends that guys are just as hard to understand — by gals — as gals are by guys. I think it comes down to what feels important. See also “how to be successful in sales”.
C over 2 years ago
Accurate
Papared25 over 2 years ago
JosephShriver over 2 years ago
Mens brain vs women’s brain
https://youtu.be/29JPnJSmDs0
Bilan over 2 years ago
Men and women are more alike than they realize. That’s why they can’t understand each other.
nicka93 over 2 years ago
We men are simple creatures, what we say is what we mean, women chose to interpret it in many convoluted ways, usually it comes out from them to be mean and derogatory about women.
Alabama Al over 2 years ago
I call fraud here. No one can possibly understand women; not in twelve steps or twelve thousand.
Alexander the Good Enough over 2 years ago
I’ve long opined that, from the perspective of many women, men are clueless simpletons who are occasionally somewhat useful, entertaining, and even necessary. Men, OTOH, commonly view women as inscrutable crazies who are nevertheless somewhat useful, entertaining, and even necessary. Both have their points because both of their perspectives are too often too true.
in.amongst over 2 years ago
the comments section is gonna overflow with wisdom…
Enter.Name.Here over 2 years ago
Understand women? Impossible. I bet that 12 steps are the 12 steps of the stairs that take you down to ground level and out of the building.
smartty cat over 2 years ago
FOOD is the single step for the male of any species.
some idiot from R'lyeh Premium Member over 2 years ago
Understanding men or women is easy when you remember they’re just people.
jmworacle over 2 years ago
Charlatans!
jimchronister2016 over 2 years ago
Wiley, this one has got to be one of your best works ever in your career. Great thought
Billavi Premium Member over 2 years ago
Males and females recognize that they have very little in common and want to have nothing to do with each other… and then they hit puberty.
LadyPeterW over 2 years ago
What is it George Carlin said? Men are stupid & women are crazy…the reason why women are crazy, is because men are stupid…??? (Though I’ve known plenty of the v-v scenarios!)
LawrenceS over 2 years ago
The twelve step program to understand women is click bait. It can’t be done.
cdward over 2 years ago
I’m not sure men understand men any better than they understand women. And I’m not sure women understand women any better than they understand men. I base this on 6+ decades of living with both men and women. I have never understood half the men I encounter, and my extensive network of female family and friends seem to have very little understanding of each other.
On the other hand, there are some differences. Males tend be comfortable by themselves or in company with others but not speaking much. Women tend to be more communal and choose to talk with each other much more. I have noticed also (though this is just a probably biased observation with no scientific merit) that men tend to make a plan and vary from it only grudgingly while women tend to make plans yet constantly revise or look for alternatives even as the plan is being carried out.
gopher gofer over 2 years ago
♪ they may be stupid, but they sure are fun…
it appears from the preceding comments that attitudes haven’t progressed much since the 70s…
dflak over 2 years ago
I read a study in SciAm that concluded that women’s and men’s brains are not only “built” differently, but that men and women use their brains differently.
Tests involved taking EEGs on both male and female mathematicians as they solved problems.
Although on paper, their derivations were the same, they used different areas of their brains to solve the problems.
Men’s processing tends to be centralized. Women’s processing tends to be distributed. Both methods have their advantages.
Does this mean women are scatter-brained?
Geophyzz over 2 years ago
A friend worked for a pharmaceutical company when Viagra was in the headlines. I asked her when they were going to have a female equivalent. She said they have been trying their best, but the female libido is overwhelmingly complex.
dflak over 2 years ago
I’ve never tried to understand women. Maybe that’s why I get along with them so well.
A Hip loving Canadian... over 2 years ago
“12 step program to understand women”… Sounds like a complicating dance.
vaughnrl2003 Premium Member over 2 years ago
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. The rest of them are just out of this world.
sandpiper over 2 years ago
Seems there are no up/down buttons on the men’s side. Does that mean the down arrow will bring one of the cars down. And if it’s the left hand car, does he have to decide if he wants to be taken for a ride or will he punch it again and hope the right hand car descends?
Probably be better all around if he just walks to the nearest bar and has a long philosophical talk with himself over really good Scotch.
backyardcowboy over 2 years ago
He’s in a Health Service, probably not in network and the co-pay is out of this world.
ewaldoh over 2 years ago
This has all been sort of fun to read. Lots of talking points … not too different from listening to sports/political talk. Outside of counting testicles and ovaries, men and women vary in height, weight, logic skills, aggression, meekness, trustworthiness, and dozens of other areas designated as gender specific. Some are inherited; and some are acquired. None of us will live long enough to understand all those factors for an entire population.
It’s enough to understand a few individuals who are important in your life. Trying to “understand” or “fix” an individual who is on the wrong side of a 60-40 division or even a 90-10 split is a disservice to that person and a waste of time and energy. It may even be why we are inventing new genders at an accelerated rate.
Will E. Makeit Premium Member over 2 years ago
no kidding…
mastring over 2 years ago
I call shenanigans. the 12 steps for women has to be for just a high level overview.
calliarcale over 2 years ago
Ah, if only it were that easy. ;-)
nurbz over 2 years ago
It takes 12 steps to wrap our heads around “woman’s logic” – a genuine oxymoron
Richard S Russell Premium Member over 2 years ago
Jock was walking on his favorite beach in Queensland when he spotted some shiny metal sticking up out of the sand. On inspection, it turned out to be an old oil lamp. He picked it up and brushed it off, and in doing so he released the genie who’d been trapped inside.
“Hi, there”, said the genie. “I’m an ancient genie who’s been trapped for way too long in that tiny little lamp, and I want to thank you properly for freeing me. May I grant you a wish?”
“Um, isn’t that supposed to be THREE wishes?”, asked Jock.
“Come on, dude, don’t be greedy. I was just an apprentice genie in the first place. That’s how they trapped me so easily in this crummy little lamp. Smash the crap out it if you would, by the way. God, I hate that thing! Anyway, all I’ve got in me is one wish. What’ll it be?”
Jock paused a bit in thot. “Well”, he finally said, “I’ve always gotten on real well with me mate Bob. He’s my brother, y’know, but he up and took off for America nearly a decade ago and now he lives near Hollywood. Wanted to break into acting and all, but it hasn’t been going well and he can’t afford to fly back and visit. I myself am terrified of flying, so I guess what I’d like most is a big long highway from here in Brisbane up to Los Angeles so I can drive my Holden up there to surprise him.”
“Are you deaf, man? Didn’t you hear me say that I was only an APPRENTICE genie? Do you know how much work a highway all the way across the Pacific Ocean would involve? It would be a challenge for the greatest genies of all time! Now get real and ask me for something reasonable.”
“Oh, OK. Sorry. Umm, how about if you can let me understand women?”
“So, would that be a 4-lane or 6-lane?”
anomalous4 over 2 years ago
I’ve never understood women – and I am one! #JustOneOfTheGuys #FlunkedGirlStuff101
mistercatworks over 2 years ago
Usually they are just labeled “Men’s problems” and “Women’s problems”.
mindjob over 2 years ago
I’m doing really well, I’m up to step 4
ScratchyPDX over 2 years ago
Only 12 steps??? I would have thought that number would be WAY higher. (Don’t hate me. :) )
Mediatech over 2 years ago
What do women want? Nobody knows. What do men want? Women.
GreenT267 over 2 years ago
It isn’t so much about understanding as respecting people as individuals. The human race seems obsessed with categorizing things — everything has to fit in a nice neat box. And when things don’t, then we get defensive. We have spent centuries classifying plants and animals — had them all pretty well tied into nice little boxes (kingdom/phylum/class/order/family/genus/species) and then DNA came along and showed us just how wrong we were. So we add some in between (e.g., super-species, subspecies). Our cultures and societies develop class systems, hierarchies — upper, middle, lower class; white-collar, blue-collar and people get pigeonholed into them based on where they are from, where they live, what job they do. We have long placed men and women in two categories — based on their physical appearance and forcing them into shape by customs, laws, peer pressure, humiliation, etc. Now we are learning, through DNA studies, that it isn’t that simple — not every person with a female appearance fits the woman box; not every male fits in the male box. We need to stop trying to shove people into the boxes that society has invented and let them find their own shape. Treat people as individuals and respect their right to be themselves. If you do so, then ‘understanding’ is much easier, because you aren’t trying to fit them into a box.
DutchUncle over 2 years ago
From “Farscape”: – I always wondered what could possibly go on in that head of yours. – Not much, I’m a guy.
198.23.5.11 over 2 years ago
Men can understand OTHER MEN in one step,if there’s beer in the room.
But can women understand men in one step?Don’t make me laugh,I just had my appaendix out.
KEA over 2 years ago
that’s insulting
Geezer over 2 years ago
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxUY-99TPRY
Walter Parmantie Premium Member over 2 years ago
blah_duh over 2 years ago
Step 1 to understanding women….. DO NOT ASSUME THEY ARE ALL THE SAME!!! It is easier to spend a lifetime trying to understand one woman than trying to make sense of all women in only 12 steps.
car2ner over 2 years ago
humor between the male and female is different, too. Men and boys will frequently laugh at body humor. If it comes out of the body, especially if it smells bad, it is potentially funny. Women will quietly watch a slapstick show while a man is rolling off of his chair with laughter.On the other hand, look at Romantic Comedies that tend to appeal to women. Much more relationship driven, although a clever stage fall will make a gal chuckle, too.
willie_mctell over 2 years ago
Humans have gender differences in behavior. If you look at it in a cultural context, neither gender is more mysterious. Men have a tendency to have trouble understanding people who aren’t men.
Ikesmum over 2 years ago
Only question I have about guys is, “Why neckties?” Society survived the revelation that women have legs (and they fit into pants!), isn’t it time for a change?
Sailor46 USN 65-95 over 2 years ago
That 12 step program is only a guess.
jim Premium Member over 2 years ago
Any questions?
comicalUser over 2 years ago
I am so tired of this. This is true simply because we are not allowed to be complex. Men have feelings, but cannot acknowledge them in nearly any way, shape or form. And the saddest thing is most women want this, too.
War and hardness shaped the Earth. Now it is time to grow a heart and take care of it.
keenanthelibrarian over 2 years ago
I’ve known a few girls who’ve gone through that program who thought it would help. I’m still grappling with the other one.
aussie399 Premium Member over 2 years ago
Only 12 steps???