Herman by Jim Unger for November 06, 2023

Yeah, but this time I want to win!

Do I have a choice?

“At least until the Jerry Springer rerun comes on at 8.”

Too close to Monyt Python! Did I get into the wrong room?

There’s always the Weather Channel.

They’re going to have a meta-argument. (Oh all right — an argument about having an argument.)

“No. No thanks. I’ll go to the toilet for a while.”

NO, I don’t! Okay, argument’s over.

I wonder if tv has pacified as many violent altercations as it has caused?

It’s an indoor sport

Ah. I’d like to have an argument, please.

Certainly sir. Have you been here before?

No, this is my first time.

I see. Well, do you want to have the full argument, or were you thinking of taking a course?

Well, what would be the cost?

Well, It’s one pound for a five minute argument, but only eight pounds for a course of ten.

Well, I think it’s probably best if I start with the one and then see how it goes from there, okay?

Fine. I’ll see who’s free at the moment.

Reminds me of aunts and uncles.

Maybe they could play a board game, like Aggravation.

What do you mean there’s nothing on the TV? There’s a penguin on it!

I think I’d rather watch nothing on TV.

Is this a five minute argument or the full half-hour?

“Five minutes or the full half-hour?”

I remember the days when my wife and I used to do other strenuous activity when nothing was on TV. Since we were married in the early 90’s that was (thankfully) pretty much every evening.

I hate arguments. They’re a total waste of time an effort. Whatever you say will either be ignored or thrown back at you. You’ll never change their minds over anything and all that happens is you both get angry with each other with nothing resolved. A bit like politics then.

Then have makeup sex?

Not really no. Rent a movie.

Works for me

Do you want a 5 minute argument or the full half hour?

You win. I’m going down to the basement to “putter.”

It sounds like she has a plan for the evening, regardless of what he decides.

“Whatever you say.”

“Old man, you are hard to work with.!”

“Whatever you say, my beloved.”

Looks to me, like she already bit (a chunk of) his head off.

There is plenty of stuff on TV, but it’s not worth watching

OK, let’s put the news on, that should get things started.

Is it the 5 minute or the full half hour?

It’s nice that she asked first.