Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for February 01, 2024

“Hello there, Funky Winkerbean fans! I’m Tom Batiuk! Remember all the times that I repeatedly depicted children selling band turkeys in the many years that I wrote that strip? Guess what! They were also all hypnotized! And I never once depicted anyone as being hypnotized back then – in fact, they were all lucidly speaking and interacting with potential customers all the time – but they were hypnotized too! Because I said so now!”

Where’s Crankshaft?

More like the cutting edge of a butter knife: totally dull.

If only we could see Dinkle face the cutting edge of a guillotine!

“And everyone is so proud of you for never once saying that Becky Howard gave you a hand!”

“You were always ahead of the other egomaniacs! Also, your book is literally 1/3 the page count from yesterday, so this can’t be repurposed clipart! Like that guy from yesterday fanning your ego with the head of the alien from the Twilight Zone ep ‘To Serve Man’ that got run through the Squish Head filter! Also, yours is literally THE most punchable face I’ve every seen, and your strips have Mopey Pete and Les M—-MM—” (intense vomiting ensues)

I wish he was truly on the cutting edge…of a buzzsaw at the old abandoned lumber mill.

Some of those kids have latent hypnosis suggestions that they are turkeys.

For some odd reason…I get the feeling that Tom’s about to release a book…possibly of recycled Dinkleberry strips named…titled…Hang on, it’ll hit me…“DUMBO GETS A MOHAWK”! Also, where is this happening? Not like it’s shoved in your face THREE TIMES or nothing.

Child abuse is funny now!!

I see why you guys hate this one.

The dialog was used verbatim in the opening of the Netflix show “DINKLE: Serial Killer.”

This is really disgusting. Compared to this stuff, Cranky is an angel…

Is that Crankshaft?

Hey, hey, Funky Crankerbean!

The further this strip strays from Crankshaft, the unfunnier it gets…

One must remember that Harry’s advanced degree is an M.M.M. Master of Musician Manipulation.

Parturition of a scam!!!!!!!

Were the turkeys live or frozen?

Bingle is semi-alive, for now.

Talk about beating a dead horse. I think we get the point, Mr. Batiuk.

Part 4 in a 200 part series of why Harry Dinkle is a smug a-hole and vile human being.

That is not ethical!

This is making me long for a mailbox gag.

is that what people do now at book signings pick up the book and start reading it back to the author !!!

I thought Funky Winkerbean ended.

C’mon, Tom – if I wanted to read Funky Winkerbean, I’d go read Funky Winkerbean.

I do not, want to read Funky Winkerbean,however, and never have. Kindly remove it forthwith from your good strip.

The cutting edge of lunacy? I agree.

Y’all are some of THE rudest commentors I’ve seen. Why are you so intent on being rude to a 76-year-old? Look,as someone who loves Funky but didn’t know about it until October,I’m GLAD to see the FW characters show up. I own three Complete books,but not the 2008-2010 one,which is why I’m glad to see them as FW was taken off of Comics Kingdom. You can be critical,but I don’t think you guys need to be so mean. And to whoever made the joke about Crankshaft getting CTE,that was vile.

The reference is to the 1939 Henry Fonda film “Drums Along the Mohawk.”

What a creep!

What the he** is this story line about? incomprehensible!!!

How much is Dinkle paying these people to sing his praises?

I think Dinkshit decided to preform Project MKUltra upon his students

Nowadays wouldn’t using hypnosis be consider abuse?