Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for February 25, 2024

Alternate Final Panel Thought Balloon: “It’s good to go…and not in the bed, for once!”

Seven panels that could be one: “Old man goes pee-pee.” It’s funny! Welcome to Marvin Crankerbean! And yet—Tom did NOT get a Pulitzer!!

He’s probably singing that classic Janet Jackson track: “We are a part of the URINE-NATION!”

Wait until Pmm discovers he was in the laundry room. The washing machine will never be the same!

And that ain’t a one and done trip.

Ed goes to his annual check up and the doctor said: “Friend, for your age your in the best shape I’ve seen.”

The Ed replied, “Yep. It comes from clean living. Why I know I live a good, clean, spiritual life.”

The doctor asked him how he knew that.

“Why,” Ed says, “I must live a good, clean life or the Lord wouldn’t turn the bathroom light on for me every time I get up in the middle of the night.”

The doc looked a little concerned. “You mean when you get up in the night to go to the bathroom, the Lord Himself turns on the light for you.”

“Yep,” Cranksagt said, “Whenever I get up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for me.”

Well, the doctor didn’t say anything else, but when the Ed’s daughter came in for her check up, he felt he had to let her know what her Dad said. “I just want you to know,” the doctor said. “Your Dad is in fine physical shape but I’m worried about his mental conditions. He told me every night when he gets up to go to the bathroom, the Lord turns the light on for him.”

“Why that ●-&%$$♤,” she said. “He has been peeing in the refrigerator, again.”

How nice to leave the door open so the whole family can hear. Good thing most of it hits the seat and the floor.

Not to mention stinking up the house…. Heh heh heh…

Be glad you can still do it on your own, fella.

I can totally relate to Crankshaft.

It takes Crank an hour to get the stream going…

Good Comic Tom and Dan. That is me several times each night. Really hit home.

Got that right,probably another one too

Only two panels away!!!!!!

The doctor asks “Are you regular?” The man says “As clockwork! I pee every morning at 6, and move my bowels every morning at 7!” “So what’s the problem?” “I don’t wake up until 8!”

Ed sure looks pleased with himself. Unfortunately, the previous panels were all a dream, and he’s currently soaking in it.

Yes, it is, Ed.

I get up at 5 AM but it seems I get the urge at about 4:30 AM

yeah, boyhowdy!

Ahhh. Those simple pleasures in life…..

Ah, the superior snark sprinkled among these comments! So clever! I’m in my 80s, and Batiuk’s describing something I’m familiar with – getting up to pee, coming back to bed, and, for me, cozying up to a warm spouse. Snark? Grow some empathy!

now ed can go back to bed and dream about sonia and kitty

Couldn’t agree more Ed

Cranky keeps a good outlook……

Nit funny, not clever, not relatable, not worth reading. UGH

It’s more like GO! and get there in time and then go back to bed.

I feel the need, the need to pee!

A toilet paper moon night. Moon light for a moon on the throne.

This strip perfectly encapsulates why I read Crankshaft, and why I love the snarky comments. I’m 70, had BPH and been taking Flomax™ (possibly the most aptly named drug ever) for years, so I’m familiar with the premise. The strip itself is a nothing burger, good for at most a weak smile of recognition, but as a straight line and inspiration for actual jokes it is superb. How does Batty’s mediocrity inspire such comedy? It just might be his greatest gift.

When I said that the strip’s now “Marvin Crankerbean”…it was a joke. Given the comments, Tom could literally turn it into “Old Man Goes Wee-Wee” forever. He may not get the Pulitzer, but he may get an award from Depends.

In my 70’s and I’m turning into that—at least my bladder is

the last panel was copy-and-pasted from one where funky finds out that he doesn’t have prostate cancer via email from Dr. Chill