Close to Home by John McPherson for January 30, 2024

Let me go right now and I promise.

Dalcon is hanging with the bad crowd as expected

Well, that all depends on the food and the accommodations.

They must have used a Lyft to get her up to their ship.

“And what happens if I don’t?” We’ll keep coming back for your follow ups!

They are using a gorpler and a yaweetzer? At the same time?

I don’t like the looks of where he’s going with that spiral thing.

That corkscrew apparatus might help to get 4+ stars…

In the back of her mind she is thinking “Hey French ticklers for noses I might really enjoy this.”

Your reviews help us to improve your probing. Would you say that you are:

1. Gnarfled

2. Somewhat Gnarfled

3. Completely Disgnarfled

You have to unwrap her before you can study her.

Do they have a receipt? … “No receipt – No return.”

A promise under duress is not binding.

Second best probing I ever had.

And in other news in Georgia, Bigfoot spotted going into the Waffle House. Is he a pancake or a waffle man? The answer to this and other riveting questions at 11.

with those probes, she may NOT want to return home. just sayin

I would give a top review IF I was returned looking, feeling and doing as well as the best earthling who is 25 years younger than I am now.

Ummmm I don’t THINK so!

Are those “tools” alien ticklers?

Notice that they only offered to return her to Earth. They never said it would be to the same continent from which they got her.

Somehow she’ll have a little “stowaway” in 9 months

Five star Seems reasonable!

Well, I did yelp during the probe part.

They asked her probing questions, yet the interview lacked depth.

I don’t think those probes have been approved by the Galactic Medical Association.

Can’t decide which is more disturbing – the tools or the single eye. Yikes!

She will be yelping a lot during the probes!

Oh, just forget that, we’ve alread paid off Yelp…

113 point inspection.

It’s still a much better fate than earthly lab techs give their test animals.

Too da moon, John says to his wife…

She was the best subject they could find?

By the look of that thing in his(its?) right hand, I think a good Yelp is a certainty.

If those aliens use all those probes properly, I am pretty sure she’ll give them a great rating.