Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for March 25, 2024

Who told Rat life was a supermarket?

If life gives you lemons, give them back and go get a pizza.

Oh grow up. If life gives you lemons, make a whiskey sour!

Rat soured on the idea…

Rat is often right.

Sitting in the shade of the glade drinking lemonade.

Life doesn’t give you the pitcher or the glasses, either.

I can drink unsweetened lemon juice if it’s watered down!

If life gives you lemons, throw ’em into a quart of vodka.— Red Green

If lemonade is made from lemons, what is a parade made from?

If life gives you cr@p, make cr@p-aid.

Rat would follow J.K. Simmons’ advice, wouldn’t he? Make life take the lemons back. Either that or make incendiary lemons to burn life’s house down.

Making lemonade from lemons is not very impressive. It’s another matter if you can do the trick when, lost in a Florida’s swamp, life gives you gators…

If Life gives you lemons, ask if you can trade for avacados

As if life would give you anything, much less lemons.

Pastis is getting lazy. “I think I’ll just copy the first panel for the next two…”

If you get a lemon, take it back to the dealer!

Rat, some folks substitute Splenda for sugar, just saying!

How’s Life? Crunchy, until you pour milk on it!

When Life gives you lemons , you throw them really hard at those causing you pain .

Lemonade made with just lemons would just be lemon juice with a bunch of seeds and pulp in it. You need all the necessary ingredients.

WOW! Rat has a good point. As always.

I always thought life was a bowl of cherries.

I recently learned that lemons are a hybrid fruit; they don’t exist in nature, they had to be created by careful planning and hard work.

That means that life doesn’t hand us lemons, we create them for ourselves.

If life did provide the sugar, it would be a whole lot sweeter.

Or throw in some eggs and sugar and make lemon curd!

I always say, “If life gives you lemons, sell used cars.”

If life gives you melons…

If you read the recipe for Lemonade on the Lemon, it indicates that the other ingredients not included.

Rat, always a sour note.

fine, lemonade makes me very thirsty, really!

“It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.”

I’ve been waiting for years for someone to publicly expose how idiotic that saying is.

Lemon, sugar, and grain alcohol makes limoncello which would calm most of Rat’s objections.

If Life was giving people lemons instead of magazines, that must be why they went out of business.

Rats all about the lemons.

That’s an old one; I actually own a T-shirt with that says: “Unless life also hands you water and sugar, your lemonade is going to suck.”

BYOW+S

What Rat, you can’t come up with those things on your own? To extend the metaphor, you can’t find inner strengths and hidden depths that can be used to neutralize unwelcome developments in your life and turn them into something redemptive?

When life gives you lemons, launch a class action suit against the growers.

Mahatma Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ..

A super calloused fragile mystic hexed with halitosis.

Deconstructing another cliche.

Actually, my grandma liked her lemonade sour like that.

Thanks Rat. I’ve always hated that stupid saying.

Well, if life gives you lemons, sugar and water… :D

If they’re not Meyer Lemons, you’ve been swindled

When Death gives you lemons, then what?