Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for July 10, 2024

“But caffeine! And sugar! Your supersized Joke-A-Coal-A is the bomb! Pour me another!”

So . . . the Starsux movie bombed?

And is that supposed to be Holly Winkerbean? Is she seeing Ed behind Funky’s back? Is she conspiring to keep her spouse out of Ed’s strip?

It’s good that someone can remind us of what movie theaters are for – and what they AREN’T for…

What’s Funky’s wife doing with Cranky? She his new gal pal now?

What? Citizen Kane? So Starsux Jones such a big flop that they is has to stops running it so soon and reruns a old movie instead eh.

OK, who is that?

Old people hate new things that are nice, at least in Centerville they do.

“I don’t think it really matters all that much, little Miss Lumpy. By the looks of you, you’ll probably be dead by this time next week!”

“…because I hate comfort and convenience!”

Mary or Holly? Logically it would be Mary but, well, you know, this is Batty World. For the record I think it’s Mary.

And then they called the cops on the two trespassers who wandered in while they were closed. What about the person working out front, why didn’t they stop them? Oh, right, only the same two people running everything, forgot.

Where is the “dislike” button when I need one. LOL As long is there is room to put my head on my date’s shoulder, I am fine with that.

I watch movies online so that I don’t have to pay your prices or put up with noisy people in the theater.

Ahhhhh. So SHE’s the one who misses not having cup holders.

……and the “sticky” Coke floors……ole school!!!!

Who is this now? Is it an aged Pat from SNL?

“Mr. Batiuk, Mr. Davis, I heard what you were saying about newer comic strips with their jokes and punchlines and humor… and I just wanted you to know that I come here because you don’t have these things!”

That and you show actual Great movies, not the stuff Hollywood and Disney are trying to sell today.

Tell me again, Tom… how do cramped, uncomfortable seats and having to hold your drink and your popcorn in your lap (or balancing them on the armrests so your neighbors can knock them over) enhance the movie experience?

In the 4th, missing panel, Mary then asks Pam if she would set the clock on her VCR.

Some people don’t need, or, want, the fancy seats that Pete talked about yesterday. Others do want all those “bells and whistles,” even in a community based “classic” movie house.

you ever gonna clean those cobwebs ?

i see the lol hyena is back to comment

Tom’s sock puppet congratulates his other sock puppet for checks notes doing movie theater armrests “the right way.”

Gah, this strip is such garbage now.

LINUS—“This is the first time I’ve ever seen it”

LUCY—“Rosebud was his sled”

LINUS—-“AAAAUUUUGGGGHHHH!!!”

Because if there’s one thing that old people absolutely HATE it’s comfortable chairs.

Well, there you go.

“Also because it’s cheap and you run old movies and it’s the only theater in town and you’re related to my boyfriend…”

And Cranky stood by and quietly approved……

“Well, hello there! We were just walking by and noticed the theatre doors were unlocked, so we decided to walk in! Good thing we weren’t robbing the concession stand, huh? Anywho, why on Earth would I want a holder to put my soda cup in while I’m watching a movie when I can just place it in Ed’s lap between his legs? It also keeps him from getting frisky when there’s a bawdy movie like ‘Peyton Place’ playing!”

So, I guess all of this week’s exciting action is taking place in the morning/early afternoon and not at night after the evening’s shows? Which means they let the food and beverage debris age on the floor overnight? Makes perfect sense.

“…I come here because you don’t have those things.”

Arm rests?

That theater is good so they can hold hands.

Max: “If you love our seats wait until you get a load of the bathrooms. Ask the person in concessions for a bucket, a roll of toilet paper, and a moist towelette. You don’t have to worry about annoying gizmos like flushable toilets, soap dispensors, and running water.”

P 4: You go, Plugger!

i saw on toms website hes 77 years old but post pictures when he was like forty pity the fool who paid 35 bucks for that apron

So, have Ed and Mary been banned from the local drive-in movies after steaming up the car windows and grossing out the family with the young children in the next car over? Classic Crankshaft. lol

If Ed and Mary want to make out in the theater seats, they’ve come to the right place. Just ask Max and Hannah.

uh it was crankys heat seater that fogged the windows it also kept the pizza fresh

Are the concession prices better than what new theaters charge?

I’m just going to say it

I actually hate Dan Davis for blatantly stealing Ayers’s artwork