Moderately Confused by Jeff Stahler for October 02, 2024

Missing: Coffee for Italians line.

Is it longer because more people want it or because it takes longer to order them?

I like my coffee like my girls, warm and sweet.

My wife and I wandered into some sort of barrista place, and while she placed her three-line order, I pondered the board. , “And what would YOU like?” the clerk asked. Before I could answer, my wife said, “He’s from Seattle.”

“Oh, then he’ll probably want a -” and she rattled off about a five-line order. I said, “Actually, I’m a Seattle native.”

“Oh,” she said. “So, cuppa mud?”

“Black, please.”

I could have something funny to say about this except there is no punch line..

All the extra ingredients are just distraction. They just don’t like coffee.

One guy said they could cut the wait time by using an alphabet menu with each letter representing a mix. His friend said there weren’t enough letters in any language to cover all the variations people thought up.

Another said people ask for all the variations so as to make themselves feel unique. Wondered if that worked. Reply ‘gotta do something to break out of the rut.’

Fine with me. I’ll take mine black.

I don’t want to say that I am old school, but I can’t even order a cup of coffee anymore.