Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for July 02, 2019

At least you got an answer for your prayer.

Pig, there is an alternative scenario — Congress would love some Ham and Goat Cheese!

Seems like good advice from the bunny.

That’s no ordinary rabbit….

HBO is now running a BBC miniseries called Years and Years. It is about how the next couple of decades impact a family from Manchester, England.

Essentially, the Magic Bunny is right.

But what if you do everything right, and believe everything you’re supposed to believe, and still get a deafening silence?

Obviously you didn’t do it right and deserve eternal damnation.

I pray to the Porcelain God.

WABBIT SEASON!!

Not comforting maybe, but unlike other deities, honest.

Hope that advice doesn’t make Pig hopping mad!

Pastis please throw away your bottle of Debbie Downer pills and you will feel a lot better ! …… Croc POwer !

No doubt about it, I’ve got to get another hat.

Makes as much sense as praying to some invisible guy in the sky…or to the Flying Spaghetti Monster…

I’ve always thought it would be better if the RABBIT pulled a MAGICIAN out of the hat!

… it isn’t the Magic Bunny’s job to make you hoppy…

…that would be El-ahrairah’s gig…

…you can’t see a shooting star looking on the ground for pennies…

…and you can’t find pennies looking up for shooting stars…

…so how do you win this #$%! game?…

Well, it is a White Rabbit.

Hare, hare, having a rabbit should be able to provide more luck that that!

Pastis – you are such a troll. :)

Okay, geez. Enough of the Nihilism. We get it, we get it. Life sucks, then you die. The world doesn’t care about your happiness and the giant bunny has abandoned all hope.

Fuhtheluvvagawd, take some Prozac and move on!

That’s the rabbit from the Shins video for The Rifle’s Spiral…

“Run for it” must to be the core tenet of bunny religion. What else have they got?

You can’t put you energy praying to a magic bunny knowing he’ll hippity hop out on you…..

I pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

“Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat!”

Possibly a quote, possibly a paraphrase (from memory):

“I pray to the four winds”

“Uhhh. I pray to Crom, but he never listens.”

“What good is he then?”

Bullwinkle: Hey Rocky, watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat.Rocky: Again?Bullwinkle: Presto!Lion: ROAR!!!Bullwinkle: Oops, wrong hat.

“When you pray for something, and it’s no go, / Don’t come around with ‘I told you so.’ / You got your answer. The answer was No.” – The Unsinkable Molly Brown: Words and music by Meredith Wilson, book by Richard Morris (1960).

OK then, hasenpfeffer tonight.

El-ahrairah tells it like it is.

I’ll be honest, and it’s probably the pain pills, but when I saw the bunny, I thought it was a Wilford Brimley joke.

If god has a plan, then praying is useless. How arrogant do you have to be to think he would or should alter his plan for you?

On the other hand, if we have free will, it is useless to pray because he expects you to make up your own mind.

For those who believe, how you used your free will is most likely to be the evidence that will weigh in the balance on judgment day. Best to live by the Golden Rue while here and not worry about the Kingdom of Heaven until you get there. After all, there may be no there there, but there is a here and now.

BUNNY!

Actually pig, you should pray to the real God, Jehovah. It would do you more god than a giant magic bunny would. Jehovah actually cares. But then again, you are an animal and have no connection to God. The best it would do is comfort you and make you feel safe. I pray to God almighty and my whole life is amazing.

A hat that big and I was expecting Charles Nelson Riley.

More to the point: RUN AWAY!!

Bun-bun helps those who help themselves.

Yah know, one might almost begin to get the feeling that Pastis is getting a little cynical on the concept of God… _

The BUNNY has spoken!

Woe! Doom! Despair!

(We do all trust in the BUNNY, don’t we?)

I like oranges.