Wizard of Id by Parker and Hart for August 26, 2020

Wiz has been draining the Kingdom of Id’s whiz into the ocean.

I think there’s a new gag writer in the Kingdom.

Swim the Ganges river. No problem.

They used to say the same thing about Maine…

That’s why no sharks.

Through all of my growing-up years, our family spent one week each year at the Jersey shore with another family that they knew from high school. Always a fun time. Sometimes very crowded. But luckily no sharks.

Sign of the times

I think The Fink may have been excited to see the shark….you know, professional courtesy…

Sometimes sharks are on land as well, one even wears a crown.

It’s “there HAVE been no sharks . . . ,” NOT “there’s been no sharks . . . .” Why do so many presumably intelligent, educated, experienced people speak and write so sloppily? Why do they not seem to think for a nanosecond about what they say and how they say it? Certainly we all understand what’s meant, but, if a character were to say “I ain’t got no money,” we’d all understand (1) what the character meant and (2) that the character was not particularly intelligent, educated, or experienced. Why would anyone not avoid putting a dunce cap on their head? Of course, there’s then the so-called vernacular brigade who pooh-pooh criticism of sloppy speech by asserting that it’s not a formal setting. While the argument is true, it’s quite silly because it equates formal speech with an old-fashioned girdle, i.e., speak formally in formal situations, but take off that formal-English girdle when it’s just family and friends and speak sloppily, i.e., informally. The upshot is that if we follow that advice, then we each are supposed to have two languages in mind, languages that we must switch on and off, depending on the setting. That’s flat silly. Why not have just one language? Why burden ourselves with the pressure of moving from one language to another based on the setting, particularly when one of the languages is incorrect from the get-go?

Some people have no respect for planet EARTH! THEY belong on URANUS!

Now I see why sharks haven’t been around

Hmm. Is that the trash monster from Star Wars sticking its eye up in the middle of the water?

A man visiting Florida had his boat capsize, and was sitting on top of it worried about alligators. He spotted a man walking along the beach and yelled out, “Hey, are there any alligators in this water?” The man yelled back, “Nope. There haven’t been gators here for years.”

Given that knowledge, the man started to swim for shore. About halfway there, he thought to shout to the other man, “Hey, what happened to the alligators?”

The man on shore yelled back, “The sharks ate them!”

Wonder why there’s no sharks… :/

https://youtu.be/nz_-KNNl-no

That is water?

Sort of reminds me of Lake Erie. Good name for it. Eerie.

“Everything but sharks!”

Jones Beach?

Everything has to fin-ish someday.

Ways to drive off sharks while leaving plenty of danger in their place.