Calvin and Hobbes by Bill Watterson for July 10, 2023

18 and YOU ARE OUT!

When Calvin abuses the power of freedom.

I’ve been retired since I was 50, and I don’t have time now for my personal interests, let alone goofing off. Well, I do take long European trips.

Inciting filicide

“If you don’t overwork yourself into an early grave that is. Toodles!”

About 25 years ago now, my children and grandchildren all came over after church for a massive breakfast. A couple hours later, I was getting ready to pull a 2-11 shift as a grocery clerk and my 4-year-old grandson said, “Gramma, where are you going?” I said, “I’m going to work.” He said … “How can you think of going to work on such a perfect day?” And with a very heavy heart, I went to work.

His mother should make plans to rent out his room, now!!

This is one of my favorite strips with Calvin lecturing his father, but he can’t do or say anything about it! Another similar one is where at the end Calvin says “Boy, I’d hate to have a child like me!”

Calvin sure is a bright ray of sunshine !

I was just commenting today with the guy at our ISP who was handling our upgrade… that my time was worth nearly nothing, since I’m retired. He groaned and told me he had too many years left before he could retire. But that he was happy I could enjoy myself.

That’s just cruel.

“The daily drudgery of making a living” is far preferable to those horrible camping trips—at least according to Calvin (and Mom)!!

Consider yourself lucky, Calvin. If you lived on a farm, you’d be put to work.

Dad gets it. And when he comes home, Calvin’s going to get it too!!!

It’s not polite to gloat.

If you want sublime, sit and listen to the following albums (in its entirety) throughout the day (not in any order):

1.) “Close To The Edge” by Yes

2.) “A Trick Of The Tail” by Genesis

3.) “Wind and Wuthering” by Genesis

Just think Calvin, ten more years and you will be me.

I used to find summer boring until I began delivering newspapers and having intellectual pursuits.

You’ve got it all to come Calvin, and when it’s your turn to do “the daily drudge”, it’ll be your dad’s turn to spend sunny summer days under a tree.

And Dad’s thinking…“Wait until you have to start working and I get to rest under the tree with a stuffed animal!”

I wonder if Calvin ever develops filters.

I am amazed if Calvin’s Dad does not hit the drive through liquor store on the way to work or at least gets a liquid lunch and then hits Happy Hour before dealing with the kid again.

Good thing, their Marriage is solid ! Otherwise ? ?

On the other hand, Calvin’s dad only has to deal with Calvin for a couple of hours after he comes home from work. And then theres Saturday and Sunday after which he can use the next five days away from him for most of the day.

Reading this again as an adult makes me believe in karma

We’re doing it backwards: my daughter is coming to work with me today. She comes in to stuff envelopes for billing, and my boss pays her for it. (My girls take turns doing this. Unfortunately there isn’t enough work for both of them at the same time.)

As my weather man say, “it’s an AB day, absolutely beautiful”

Nothing like a good pep talk to start your day.

My mom has been retired for 22 years; a lot longer than most people stay kids. Calvin only stayed a child for 10 years.

Killer cartoon! Such great work !

You can be a smart*ss all you want, Calvin, but your day will come…☺️

Those days never return, even when you are retired.

Enjoy it while you can, Calvin.

What’s that, not enough to do. I’m sure your MOM has some CHORES for you to do while I’m out.

And when he does retire, you can expect some calls from him enjoying his summer days while you’re at work Calvin.

Here’s your summer chore list Calvin. Start with picking up the Tiger poo in the lawn then mow and trim the grass.

Yes, but no snow goons in summer. No snowball ambushes of Suzy.

The Calvin brand of suntan lotion. The more he rubs it in, the redder you get.

It’s Summertime Summertime Sum Sum Summertime Summertime ohh…

This one hurts a little too much. A little too close to home.

Where’s the strip when Calvin states “childhood is all about spoiling adulthood?”

As usual, Calvin can’t comprehend anything beyond his own experiences. His father already experienced childhood summers. He’ll be enjoying retirement when Calvin is working.

I’m glad I never had to wear a suit to work, especially in the summer

You’re next shorty.

LOL… Calvin thinks being 6 years old will last forever…

Like father, like son!

Dad says, “Sure (they said), adopt the cute kid from the orphanage, the one with a stuffed tiger. He’ll be a lot of fun. You’ll tell jokes together, go to ballgames, build memories together. Piece of cake!”

Your day is coming Calvin, yes, your day is coming.

Dad actually prefers going to work … and we all know why.

I would love to have that kind of kid who understands the difference between childhood and adulthood before growing up. This boy sure knows how to enjoy the younger days.

Calvin: My work here is done. Again.

For a short while at the end of my schooling, I invested in a get-rich-quick scheme, and for a fleeting 6 months or so, I had the dream of retiring right out of grad school.

Yeah, I lost my shirt!

ugh… and it’s Monday!

I looked forward to retirement from about 4th grade on. It’s not so bad.

Later on, when Calvin slaves away to earn a living having squandered his opportunity to improve himself, his Dad will repartee with “Ah, retirement!”

Any way Dad can have Calvin legally declared an emancipated minor?

Adult Calvin gets a call at the office…

“Hi Calvin, just enjoying my retirement while you work endless hours. As you know, medicare is in a lot of trouble, there won’t be crap waiting for you by the time you are old. However, you have to keep paying taxes where nothing is saved aside for you, it all goes to my social security!”

My dad left me with a list of chores before going to work. I knew I had better have them done before he got home.

Bet Dad is thinking about this…

Auctioneer: Good evening ladies and gentlemen. On behalf of Mr. Moreau, Mr. Marcano and the Adults Union, thank you for coming out tonight. Might I remind you that all winning bids must be paid upfront and we are only accepting cash. Might I also remind you that the Adults Union will safely transport the products to a location of the winning bidders’ choosing for only a small extra fee. First up on the auction block, Calvin. However you can change his name to whatever you like. This specimen is six years old and healthy. Can be put to work doing heavy farm labor or housework. No scars, no visible injuries and examined personally by Mr. Moreau’s doctor. Opening bid to buy Calvin will be $1,000. Do I hear $2,000?"

Or like this…

Asian Dad: Carvin! You doctor yet? Why you no doctor yet?

Calvin: I am only six.

Asian Dad: I don’t want excuses. Summer is for studying, not goofing off! Speak to me when you doctor!

Led Zeppelin’s “Your Time Is Gonna Come” comes to mind here.

Good one could be this…

Calvin is reading a comic book

Dad: Hi Calvin. I see you are enjoying yourself, under a roof and sitting on a piece of furniture that was bought from…my job!

Calvin is eating dinner

Dad: Why Calvin, you ate today? Food does not grow on trees, you know. Your mother bought this food and cooked it on a range. Food and the natural gas to cook it costs money…from my job!

Calvin is wearing pyjamas and just wants to go to bed

Dad: Had your bath and brushed your teeth? Good. You consumed water for both, I hope you know. Want a bedtime story? All these books you have…cost money. Remember when we got Hobbes at a toy store? If we tried to take Hobbes without paying we could’ve gotten arrested. That’s right, money! So tell me Calvin, where does all this money come from? The man in the moon, or my job?

When Calvin is of age, you just KNOW Dad is going make him get a summer job.