Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for May 18, 2024

Should have left it the way it was.

Pitcher Jesus will give a sermon on the mound. (Jesus was called up from the burning bush league.)

I’m sure there was one about not stealing 3rd base?

Thou shalt not bang on garbage bins to signal pitches.

V. Run out thy ground balls. Thy never knowest. (also pop flies with a runner on)

VI. Remember the bunt, and keep it holy.

In the Big Inning

Thou shalt play Left Out.

“There’s no crying in baseball!”

I give you the fifteen….

Crash!

Ten commandments!

Don’t depend on ‘Angels in the Outfield.’

Thou shalt not try to hit a home run with every swing of the bat.

THOU SHALT:

V. WORK FAST.

VI. THROW STRIKES.

VII. CHANGE SPEEDS.

Penalty for disobedience: getting rained out for forty days.

Well, the Bible starts out with “In the big inning”.

send it to Detroit they need all the help they can get

V. Never make the third out at third base.

Too complicated. … You throw the ball, You hit the ball, You catch the ball. Sometimes it rains!

VIII. Thou should scratcheth thyself in the dugout, not on the field of play.

VI. Remembereth thou how many outs there are.

Right. It needs a rewrite. Perhaps soccer style next time.

Take a shower before the game, we don’t need foul balls.

Some things come to resemble religion due to the dedication of their adherents. But there also are many others who pay no attention to either the ‘newer’ forms or the traditional, much revised, edited, ‘readjusted,’ and modernized form. T’is the way of it. Some adhere, some ignore, and some just haven’t a clue.

Thou shalt not: Throw beanballs, spitballs, punches, or tantrums…

Hell, the book starts with “In the big inning…”

Actually for a ballplayer…excellent advice!!! God knows all!

IX. Use 2 hands when catching the ball

IV. Watch the ball…

“Hit it where thee ain’t.”

or golf

Honor thy TV and endorsement contracts.

Please show these commandments to Victor Robles.

Illogical sequence.

Someone should give these to Angel Hernandez… across the head… repeatedly

It definitely puts the kibosh on bleacher insults when God is the umpire.

Jehovah made Moses a sporting proposition. He should have taken it.

Wow, I came late to the comments today and was dumfounded that nobody has yet posted George Carlin’s classic routine on the 10 Commandments, but your patience has been rewarded. Here they are (if you extract a couple of spaces):

 youtu. be/ sk81tUUhRig?si=bHkKsKgmW5WEtWIZ

Ah, I hark back to my days as a recreation baseball coach. I yelled all of those (minus the “Thou shalt”)…When coaching recreation basketball, I only had three things I yelled. On defense, “Get on your man!” On offense, “Pass the ball around,” and “Set up your play!”

Well, it’s supposed to have taken him an awful long time just to get ten of ‘em – I don’t think the Supreme Being actually wanted him to sub-edit …

Thou shalt drown t he ghost runner in The red Sea