Arlo and Janis by Jimmy Johnson for May 07, 2024

GO! One never knows when only one of you will be there.

Arlo’s attitude is about the same as mine, given enough time we’ll figure it out.

Leaves enough time for something to come up so you can cancel.

Reserving the right to say maybe?

Same here. I call it the path of least resistance. I figure I can weasel out of it if I have enough time.

You’re correct, Arlo. Considering the alterations of a plan, changes, new plan, forgotten details and external influences it often is the safest route to take rather than a prolonged dispute or attempts to resist.

So, cremation?

As I get older that’s why I avoid making plans. It sounds great when it’s weeks away, but when the day comes you just want to stay home!

If I don’t want to go somewhere I don’t go. Seems Arlo doesn’t want anything to do with going or moving there.

There’s always the chance something else will come up.

For once, I find myself agreeing with Janis. Wasn’t one of Arlo’s biggest fantasies, long ago, to be on the water sailing the seven seas in a sailboat (much to Janis’ chagrin)? Wouldn’t moving to the shore put him MUCH closer to realizing his dream? I must admit surprise to his hesitation. Perhaps this is the epitome of what I’ve heard before…some fantasies should just stay fantasies

“Putting on the dog”?

Sure. A visit from the in-laws sounds OK 6 months from now. 6 days? not so much.

Wow, leave Grandpa at home and go to the beach by yourself.

I can understand Arlo’s reluctance. The older I get, the bigger hassle it is to pack up and travel. Schedules are upset, sleeping in a bed not my own, etc. Sure, I have a good time when I get there, but I’m always glad to get back home.

I’m always excited to go out until it comes time to get dressed. Then I’m like “can’t we get carry out and watch TV?”

I like to be helpful and all, but I may freeze up if asked to do something out of the blue at the last second.

So true. I say, “Sure,” then at some point I go check my calendar and see if it’s feasible.

Are Arlo & Janis retired? If not, how can they miss work for an extended visit?

Absolutely. Sometimes Arlo and me are the same person.

As things go, the longer the time to the event, the greater the chance something will happen and plans will change. I rely heavily on that when agreeing to do things I really do not want to do.

give it a minute for her to change her mind…not if, when…and then it’s deflect and project time…

That’s the way I am. Excited to go or participate when asked in advance but become less enthusiastic as it gets closer. Sometimes I will even make an excuse to not show up!

One of the secrets to a long and happy marriage.

“….I figure I might be dead before I have to put up.”

I agree with Arlo’s last comment, but for the opposite reason. I like to schedule and plan things as far in advance as possible. Even if it’s some all-day social event that’s going to screw up an entire weekend day for introvert me but that I’m going to be stuck going to only because my wife insists on it. If I know ahead of time and can reschedule my me-time around it, I can tolerate it. But try to abruptly spring something like that on me a day or two before the event when I’ve already mentally made my own weekend plans….well that will definitely not go over well.

I’m one of those folks who just don’t like traveling. I feel comfortable at home, and I’d rather be there than anywhere else.

I don’t think Arlo knows what he wants.

We have family all over and travel frequently due to that. There is nothing like the smell of my own sheets, the spot in the bed that fits me perfectly. It’s being home. I totally get arlo.

Are Arlo and Janis British? I’ve never heard “putting on the dog” before

We do what HE wants to do. Even when we do something "because you (meaning me) want/need to it is because he wants to and generally anything I said was an off hand comment.

I keep complaining that we are not home enough for me to get things done which need to be done – let along things I WANT to do. While he was working I was on my own – I worked for someone and then for myself, but always had control of my schedule. Before he quit job (retired in his mid 50s due to burn out at my suggestion) we made an agreement that I would keep on doing what I had been doing on my own. Little by little that disappeared over the past 15 plus years. We do everything together.

He bends over backwards to be nice to me and do things I want- mostly actually NEED to do. I have been complaining that I am behind in getting things done (paperwise) in the house as we go out daily and waste the afternoons – we sleep in, first meal of the day is lunch – and we go to bed around 4 or 5 am – which is not a problem for me. I needed to work on something last week and I also needed something or other as a minor thing. So instead of spending the day at home so I could catch up on work – he had us out looking for the non-existent thing I want all afternoon, so my work did not get done.

One agreement we had when he quit his job was that we could not eat lunch out daily (“it is not vacation!”) as we did when he was on vacation from work. Little by little we worked our way up to lunch at Wendys daily. Then Covid came along and we were eating home all the time. He has us back up to eating lunch at Wendys 3-5 days a week. Dinner was being out on Fri & Sat and Sun was a frozen family entree (ok – that let me call my mom at 7 pm to talk). During Covid that stopped and now it has become take out instead as same went along and we felt comfortable doing so. He has added dinner out at Asian buffet we went on Fridays before – now on Tues/Wed or Thurs depending on the weather as less crowded