Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for September 30, 2024

Is that another puddle of gasoline by the stairs? It’s the right color for water so it can’t be that.

“BAN THE BOOKSMITH!” they scream, while one holds a sign that says “YEAH, I AGREE!” A Ped Xing thing holds a sign that says “NO fahrvergnügen VWs!” (Oh, look it up) Tom—er, LILLIAN—is glad she wore her best martyr suit, because brother, this is going on until Halloween. TOM LOVES HIM SOME TOM

Hey, how did Ed get down the stairs and change the color of his ballcap so quickly?

Speaking of color, why are the paint brush and can dripping red but the “NO” symbol on the sign is black?

The water from fire brigade dousing the bottom stairs ain’t dry yet and it clearly still the same middle of the night. Who on earth protests with signboards and all in the middle of the night?

Obveeously you can’t gets a crowd like that all prepared with signboards and anytheengs without prior planning. It just not sometheeng that will gathers outta nowhere in the middle of a night. And what is point of middle of a night protest when everyone else is sleeping? The point of placard protests is to gets attention. And great attention they will gets in the middle of the night.

This so overly preposteridiculudicrous that me is outta new words to describe it. This has gots to be some sortsa twisted parody. Otherwise it’s called writing.

Meanwhile, Lester Moore is home snoring in his soft, warm bed.

Isn’t that destruction of private property?! Throw his keister in jail!

Where are the Police ? ( Officer I have a unruly Mob of undesirables raising Hell in front of my House, could you please move them along , Thank you. ,

This is absolutely stupid. Batiuk should be ashamed of himself.

The Return of Wally Winkerbean.

He’s upset because there’s no wheelchair ramp in front of the store for disabled customers like the one he had installed in front of Monotoni’s.

There’s no parking spot reserved for veterans like the one he had installed in front of Monotoni’s.

Lillian refused to hire him to be the night manager or let him bring Buddy into the store.

Jff Murdoch? Is that you? That’s not very neighborly.

Jff: “I can’t stand this sign. It’s stupid. The store’s name doesn’t even work as a pun. It’s not even facing the right way. You can’t even read it until you’re in the driveway."