Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for August 22, 2021

Maybe she writes a name that fits the customer’s personality.

I would never go to Starbucks; I’m no boob.

It never fails to fail… if that makes sense.

Is “boob” for fool or for one of those you always find paired?

She didn’t misspell Bob with Boob. She knew it was Stephan.

Tit’s kinda funny!

I have completely solved the “problem” of baristas calling out not-my-name for my order. I never. Ever. Buy a drink at such places. Very occasionally a cookie or some such. $6.00 or so for 75¢ worth of coffee or chocolate, or 30¢ worth of tea, served in a (mildly) nasty tasting paper cup with a distinctly unpleasant texture. What a waste!

Yes, I DO know how it all works… I have occasionally been brought to such a place and given a hot drink.

not that I go to Starbucks, but when certain eat-out places ask for my name, I at times mishear “Daniel” (must be the COVID mask)

In the end its just coffee.

Funny! I never use my own name at places that ask for one because they always get it wrong. But I would never use Bob. I try and pick one that I think nobody else would have. Sometimes I’m tuna.

That is why I make my own coffee !

When they first started asking for names at Starbucks in the UK, it was traditional for someone in the queue to shout out “Don’t tell him, Pike!”From this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_YMVPXmaKds

I used to have a “restaurant reservation name”. My actual name is hard to spell if you hear it, and hard to pronounce if you see it written, so I came up with one from an earlier generation of my mother’s family that’s easier for low-paid service workers to deal with.

Thanks! I really needed to laugh.

Funny how the Starbucks Kiosk always has a line of cars waiting to be served!

Funny Pig would go to a place called “Roastery” !

Starbucks recently tied in with Nestle, a truly loathsome company. I’ve been boycottign them since I found out.

The clever part of Starbucks is they make a terrible tasting coffee which needs to have all kinds of syrupy junk added to make it tolerable. Of course those syrupy drinks cost a lot more than just the coffee alone.

I also rarely go to places that ask for a name. I could be wrong, but I think it’s just a way for them to try to appear buddy-buddy with the customer. If I have to, I’ll just give them a number instead of a name.

Would never use “Bob” because there’s usually a pair of those. Maybe he should try “Peter”

I drive a Kira Niro. I’ve named it “Bob.” You know… “Bob de Niro.” (No… really… I do drive one!)

I do go to Starbucks on occasion, and I’ve never had the barista write my name or any other name on the cup.

I say Bond, James Bond. It works almost every time. Once in a while, a smart butt says “Sure Mr. Bond. Is it Connery or Lazenby?” :D

Maybe I should try that.

I guess I am cheap. I can buy a pound of coffee for the prices of a take out coffee at some places. I can buy a coffee pot for the cost of a week’s worth of same. And my coffee does not taste burned.

One breakfast place I know asks for your superhero name. I typically use Superflous (y’know, Aquaman’s sidekick) or Medusa.

As I recall, Rat used to work at Joe’s Roastery. Would have been funny to see him waiting on Stephan.

I always say “Marco” so I and everyone in the shop can yell “Polo!” No one wants to go for coffee with me anymore for some reason.

I bought a stainless travel cup at a Starbucks about seventeen years ago. I thought it was too expensive at $23.00. I still have it. I can put hot coffee in it at seven AM and it’s warm enough to drink at noon. The only time I’ve been in a Starbucks and it was one of the best purchases I’ve ever made.

Starbucks is over rated and over priced. UGH!

At least they got the order right.

That’s what you get for your $7.25 per hour.

If you use the app, they don’t ask your name. They get it automatically and it’s spelled right.

I always say Starbuck.

Mister Coffee never makes that kind of mistake.

LOL, LOL, LOL!!!

Its important to have such names, along with fake birthdates and phone numbers

I watched Red Skelton do his version of this joke some sixty years ago.

Never underestimate the ability of order-takers to misspell a name. That said, I never give my right name either. I like to use challenging names like Cthulhu and Aloysius…

…and really, what was wrong with “Take a Number”?

A rose, by any other name….

My son has used Bobby Ganooish before

I bet they have a competition in the coffee-to-go places where they try to come up with the most subtle yet most embarrassing misspelling possible. Like bad stand-up comedians. Or cartoonists.

Cactusboob! Haha.

Look at the waiters name tag and use that one. It’s as good as any name, but shouldn’t be misspelled. And maybe you get some extra out of sympathy.

I think Pastis just got roasted.

Guess we’ll go somewhere else besides Joke’s Roastery… (How do you like it?!)

And one can spell the name backwards too. A little trick I learned from a relative named Anna.

Anybody want to bet that they deliberately misspelled ‘Bob’ just to troll Stephan, since they could recognize that it’s him?

And apparently, our friend, the comic strip censor, is on vacation this week.

I placed a take out order at a restaurant once and gave them my first name which isn’t particularly common. When I went to pick up my order they said someone with my name already picked it up. From then on my order name became “Bartholomew”. It turns out there was someone with that last name in the area too! Who knew?

Snerks…He said boob

Only fools pay that much for ANY coffee.

My actual last name is misspelt & mispronounced so often I don’t pay any attention anymore

How bout Tim? Is that a T or an M?

that doesn’t work with Starbucks. Once I was waiting for my coffee, and when it was ready they called out my name. I had never given them my name. They obviously pulled it off of my Starbucks account. Creeped me out.

My name is Tom. Or, depending on who’s listening, Todd. Or Dom. Or Don. Or…

I think I’ll start using my oldest alias; Whumpsnatz.

I once got a burger in a place that had an order form to fill out at the table that covered all the custom options. The last question was “Name it.” I wrote “Nosferatu.” I learned later that you were supposed to use your name, not name your creation.

this is the first day i ever commented

That’s absolutely stupid. And sounds like something a certain mermaid chain would push. Their probably responsible for so many fast food places asking for a name now instead of giving you the unconfusing number. “Oh, it makes the customer feel like we care.”

Uh huh, sure it does. I was at a Wendy’s back in 2008, really had some of the customers felt like they cared for them. They called either Bob or Paul (can’t remember which name it was, but I remember it was one of those two) and some guy went to get it, only it wasn’t his order. Two more went up with the same result. Got to the point they, the customers, were asking folks “You’re not Bob/Paul too?”. Even I was asking that and that’s not my name (for the record I prefer to give my last name as it tends to be more unusual around here and less likely to have this happen) There were like seven guys in that day with that name at that time.

Whatever happened to real coffee?

Whenever I did a play in high school, the school paper would come up with an innovative way to misspell either my name or my character’s.

I rarely screw up “boob.”

that’s Captain Boob to you

This is oddly true, it’s unreal the things people have construed my name into and it’s not complicated.

Loser! Cartoon-Boob goes home in shame. At least accept your vanilla latté, Cartoon-Boob!

Yeah … I don’t think so, Steephan.

My coffee name is Amy. I didn’t know other people did it too.

I always use “Buttercup” as my coffee name. Best way to shut up a chatty coffee schlepper.

Got a Starbucks order from someone named “NAME UNKNOWN BY REQUEST”.

I saw this one coming. Still funny. Steven Pastas is the greatest

My coffee name is Johann Gambolputty de von Ausfern-schplenden-schlitter-crasscrenbon-fried-digger-dingle-dangle-dongle-dungle-burstein-von-knacker-thrasher-apple-banger-horowitz-ticolensic-grander-knotty-spelltinkle-grandlich-grumblemeyer-spelterwasser-kurstlich-himbleeisen-bahnwagen-gutenabend-bitte-ein-nürnburger-bratwustle-gerspurten-mitzweimache-luber-hundsfut-gumberaber-shönendanker-kalbsfleisch-mittler-aucher von Hautkopft, of Ulm.

I had a similar experience, they spelled my name Brabra

I’m surprised she didn’t write “Yeahbob”.