Pickles by Brian Crane for September 16, 2022

The mistake was being there in the first place

Some questions/thoughts should stay in your head and not come out to where your spouse can hear them.

What does she do with all that fabric?

Is she making a watermelon (L.) or an army camouflage tent (R.)?

She sews all of their clothes, she’s made slip covers for all of the furniture, there’s a quilting class on Thursday, and all of the leftover bits and pieces are braided into day rugs for the floor.

Nothing will get you out any faster. Just write off the rest of your day.

I bring a book and wait in the car.

Easy, pick one…anyone…she’ll say no and pick the one she likes, don’t argue, just agree

Tell her to get both so she doesn’t have to choose.

So that’s why rolls of fabric are called bolts?

Be Truthful, Green makes you look fat , then run , because the Truth Hurts !

She so rarely changes her clothes, who is she sewing all of these muumuus for, Pearl ?

Not that one for sure.

Whoa! That’s a lot of detail!

Must have taken a long time to draw!

My sentiments exactly, Earl. A fabric store would be right up there with going to Costco.

I rate fabrics on their ability to cover gravy stains.

It could be worse, Earl, what if she was trying on clothes and she asked “Does this make me look fat?”!

If I had one dollar for every time I THOUGHT something like that with my wife, I would have hundreds of dollars cash-in-hand. If I had a million dollars for every time I SAID OUT LOUD something like that to her — well, I’m not yet a millionaire. My mother burned that particular smart-ass reply out of my repertoire a long time ago!

Nice job illustrating the bolts of fabric behind Earl and Opal, Brian.

Open mouth, insert foot…Earl’s exercise for the day…

One thing about Earl, he doesn’t lie to Opal, even when it would be the wisest course of action.

Exactly..!!!!!! (well said)

I do not think that there is a way that he can get out of there quickly. If there is, Earl will not like it.

Oh my. Been there. Done that.

Losing battle, Earl. Whatever you say will be remembered and brought up later.

If Earl had been listening, her tone would have told him the ‘correct’ answer.

My second sister worked at a fabric store for a couple years. She moved almost a ton of fabric when she got married.

Actual conversation: “Which do you like better, this one or this one?” “They’re both fine. Either one.” “Pick one.” " Ok, that one." “Well what’s wrong with this one?!?!?”

He should know better than to go fabric shopping with her. Same goes for shoe shopping. Did this once with the spouse, never again. LOL. We got along just fine.

I will never understand why people make spouses go shopping to places they don’t care about. Earl couldn’t care less about the fabric—does Opal think she’s going to get a helpful answer? Doesn’t she have any female friends?

Got that right

Pearl, Pearl, Pearl, take it from somebody who knows: You should be using up all the fabric in your “stash” instead of adding to it. . .

Boy, am I ever with Earl on this one!!

I’m right there with you, Earl!

My mom used to take us to fabric stores when we were kids. Dreaded those times.

Amen. Just like me and my wife in a fabric store. lol.

I prefer shopping alone.

My dearly departed Sicilian-British wife would have said, "Go Meet Me In The Car!

Idk, Opal is only seen knitting….occasionally….so she buys fabric “just in case” she may need it….one day….

My wife has learned over the past 49 years(next month)to never take me clothes shopping as I have absolutely no clue what colors go together or should never go together. She also never asks me what paint colors go together, or wallpaper and curtains.

i used to enjoy the fabric store

The first one is nicer.

Wrong answer Earl…very wrong!

So, I never understood this urge to drag one’s husband to a store with you if he doesn’t want to go. Why can’t’ they go by themselves?

Opal, why do you even try? Chose what you like, he doesn’t give a darn. (it’s just a cartoon, it’s just a cartoon.) :-p

If she made a dress out of that first one, she would look like a watermelon.

For goodness sake man, show some interest, ask her what she plans to sew and give her some credit for her ingenuity.

She respects Earl’s opinion.

(“Earl liked it so there must be something wrong with it. What would I do without him!?”)

If he is paying attention, he will ask what the fabric is for. You just can’t pick out a fabric for nothing unless you want to just stick it on a shelf and look at it. Personally, I think they are both ugly unless they are for coordinating Halloween outfits. Or maybe a shirt for Earl. He will wear anything and neither of those will easily show food stains. Or a bed for Roscoe. Or maybe they have a room where one of those might look good as curtains. Who knows?

Take the mint green candy cane look.

And then the fight begins . . .

My recently deceased father was more supportive of my mother’s craft projects.