Pickles by Brian Crane for December 06, 2023

Does she want trash bags that are big enough to fit Earl in?

Rural King has the best heavy duty yard bags. The ones I get are 42 gal. size. Worth the cost.

So, if Opal is lucky, she’ll literally and figuratively have Christmas in the bag?

1st and 2nd panel, But Opal always tries to buy Earl something he won’t like for that very reason.

Opal better hope … Earl does not reciprocate with a personal gift to her … a gift certificate for a root canal.

Opal is so easy to shop for. This morning, my son asked me what he can get me for Christmas. I was ready with suggestions … wine coolers, Ameretto, edibles.

13 gallon or 33 gallon?

Oh jeez

I’ve long ago moved on to cash or gift certificates. Usually cash, due to the current prevalence of gift card hacking…

I do that too with people.

I hope he gets the hint with all your trash talk.

This way the Pickles just about managed to save the Gift of Giving…

I like getting practical gifts. I like getting cat food and cat litter for Christmas. Groceries are always good too! Or even toilet paper!

Once before my husband and I were married I bought him one of those foam waffle things for his bed. His bed was very uncomfortable and he was working long hours and needed his sleep. It may not have been the most romantic gift but it helped him sleep better since his bed was more comfortable.

Maybe contractor bags?!

Nice to see Opal exercising!

That’s how you keep the lust alive!

Super Poligrip denture adhesive is sure to make them smile (with confidence).

My XH once got me a thermos to replace mine that he broke. another time a garbage can. Oh and once some nickel earrings that turned my ears green, got some for my daughter too and then told us, “You wouldn’t believe what I paid for it!” Let’s see, $5 at BiMart?

My husband grew up with getting the worst gifts from his parents. That transferred to him. After 40 yrs of marriage, there is just no point in him trying to get me something. The one thing he did get for me years ago was my first Kindle. He even called my friend for advice! I had another friend who withheld something she got for him at the NFR until he bought me a birthday present. God love him, he tried. They were some gaudy earrings that went back but he tried. Now we go shopping and I pick what I want. He does the same thing. These days, we are mostly gone for Christmas and shop wherever we are.

A trash bag big enough to fit in, hopefully. Got you, Opal! Hey, this is kind of fun!

With the messes that Earl and Nelson leave behind, I can understand where she’s coming from…

We stopped exchanging gifts years ago; if there’s something we want we’re able to get it (within reason) any time of year. But one year I asked for a new iron & got it. Not all special gifts are romantic. What matters is that the person hears you.

Poor man to rich man: “What are you buying you wife for Christmas?” Reply, “Diamond earrings and a Mercedes.” Why? “If she doesn’t like the earrings she can drive herself to the jewelry store to exchange them”. Rich man to poor man, What are you buying your wife? Reply. “Slippers and a d%#do”. Why? So if she doesn’t like the slippers, she can go screw herself."

My wife’s and my gifts to each other is not exchanging gifts

I guess this sad, predictable storyline will continue all week.

It wasn’t really a holiday gift, but I bought my wife a new stand mixer: KitchenAid Pro 5+.

What the hell is furnace filters??

The first Christmas after meeting my wife/single mother of two little girls, I bought her a garage door opener. Thirty-five years later, she still says it was one of the best gifts I bought her.

Only one time in 20 years have I been able to get something for Mrs that she was overjoyed with. Every other time the gift has been exchanged for something else. That time she wanted a specific LV purse. When we went into the store she found it was discontinued. Working weekends I had time to phone 93 LV stores before I found one in stock. Actually I found one that could see inventory in several stores. The gal helping me phoned that store and we were able to make the purchase. I had to change the email address on the credit card so Mrs could not see the purchase. Shipped the purse to work, wrapped wit help of co worker and hid in tree when I go home. Christmas day, the only time she ever screamed with joy from a gift I have given her.Now, I just let her buy her own. This year I just asked for $100 to use on my Kindle.

We are empty nesters and plan a trip to visit family (our family is in Europe, so that’s a nice trip!). As for gifts, we just order whatever we want for ourselves all year long….and more so at Christmas. It’s easy to forget what you order so it FEELS like a surprise when the Amazon truck appears!

Jesus……… why even BOTHER..??????

I’ve tried of late to give gifts that won’t take up much space in storage.

Said no wife ever!

Ooooh it’s come to this! Oy

I hope he gets you the scented trash bags that smell like Irish Spring!

I buy gifts for me. Wife buys gifts for her. We wrap em and on Christmas open to see what the other bought themselves. Works on so many levels.

We’ve stopped giving gifts that aren’t consumable.

Thank goodness. There are sane people. Kids starving and people donate toys. Really?

i need to share this with my wife!!

Hey if it fits…wear it!

I take the guess work out of decided what I will give for Christmas. I give my wife and adult children gift cards so they can buy what they like. I send out electronic gift cards to my niece, who’s mother and sister passed away, and to my oldest sister is living on a tight budget.

Opal and Earl are definitely on to something.

Once – once I gave Her, among many, many other wonderful gifts, a new lampshade that She had been saying we needed.

Guess which of those many gifts is the only She remembers – and brings up – 30-some years later. And guess just complimentary She is about it……..

How about just a hug and a kiss on Christmas morning?.

I wish I could remember the comedian who made a very good point about “personal” gifts from people, who may be close relatives, but do not know you that well.

He said every year, his Mom sent him a gift worth about $100 and she would send the receipt. Every year, he would have to make a special trip crosstown to return the gift and collect the money.

He knew Mom felt she was giving him a gift but, was, in fact, giving him a time consuming chore . He never was able to explain to her why gift cards were invented.

Aim high, Opal.

Money for the electric bill is high on the gift list this year!!

The full 3-mil or higher hopefully. Or body-bags will do.

They could exchange jars of pickles——bread and butter for him and dills for her.

What about the idea of purchasing something each one wants, wrap it, and put a label on it that shows it is to the one that wants it from their spouse? Problem solved (and pretend to be surprised upon opening). No need to return it, right?

We have sometimes chosen something to share— a new television, a new water heater..

Most things I want are on sale or the only one in stock; so I grab it and place it in my gift closet, where the family shops for Christmas, birthdays, and Father’s Day. I always get exactly what I want; and by the time I get it, I’ve often forgotten it was there.

Maybe Earl will buy Opal an electric drill and a whipper snipper.

Hopefully they’re pumpkin spice scented! (saw that recently…it’s actually a thing!!)

The quality of low expectations abounds.

How about Trash Bags large enough to hold a Furnace Filter?

so Opal wants to be a bag lady

In my family, we skip the adults and buy only for the kids. What about Nelson?

A laugh everyday, fits us to a tee.