Somebody torched the Komix Korner? Well, yeah, I can see why that would inspire worldwide rejoicing and the birth of a new civilization. But on to the questions! Did they nail the Atomik Komics cesspit? Is Wayback Wendy now a thing of the past? Was the fire started by the spontaneous combustion of Dead Skunkhead’s never-washed shirt? Were Batton Thomas and Mopey Pete consumed in the conflagration?
“It was the BOOKSMELLER BOOKSHOP THAT SOLD BOOKS! Boy, what a stench! I’ve smelled better dumpster fires! SO—First time you’ve heard about how you’re going to DIE? In a FIRE?!” (looks at phone) “Well, the mob is here with torches! ADIOS!”
Wait, who are these people? Is one of them Crankshaft? Maybe they should have some natural-sounding dialogue in which one tells the other who that other person is (as one does). How else are we supposed to know who anyone is?
Why’s Skip the Dip so HAPPY about this? “Elaborate! Maybe some of your customers died just now! Maybe friends and family!” (He’s called Skip the Dip in Westview, because the pinned-up sleeve is fake. He has a left arm, and he’s a pickpocket. “I ask insensitive questions, then loot them while they gasp in shock! Made me a FORTUNE on 9/11!”)
Crankshaft is now become so obscure and irrelevant in his own komix that even sometheeng that is getting burning down by fire is not attributed to him.
Wanna bet that due to Batty’s Rules Of Writing Number 37 and 62, tomorrow Skippy will tell Lizard Lil all about how an angry mob burned down the BookSmeller store because they were providing a forbidden book to Les’s high school class?
This has the makings of a terrific arc. I have an MLS from UNT in Denton. The right to read. Les is about to go where few go anymore and challenge censorship in defense of intellectual freedom. A fire at a bookstore; probably the one where his students were to get their copies of Fahrenheit 451, where firemen start fires. When I was teaching English during my Masters studies, I took a course in Young Adult Literature. One of the books we read was Robert Cormier’s The Chocolate War. This was early 80s when the biggest censors of the day were the Gablers. The school made me buy back every copy of the book, but let me teach it as an independent reading. Today, The Chocolate War is one of the most censored books in America.
Ah, now it’s time for the Big Question: recalling how Funky Winkerbean ended, with all of humanity as one nation (or something like that), we must ask: how does Dead St. Lisa’s Story figure into arc?
Eventually, we learn the fire was in fact a classic case of spontaneous combustion caused by a deed rubbing up against an insurance policy. Authorities get suspicious when they notice that just a month ago, the owner took out a policy including double indemnity in the event the store is torched by a mob trying to censor high school reading lists. Under intense interrogation by police, the owner confesses and says the store was deeply in debt and failing badly. “I guess ‘Village Book Smeller’ wasn’t the best name for a bookstore,” he says tearfully. “It’s almost as bad as choosing ‘Funky Winkerbean’ for a serious comic strip!”
Books are not rated “R” or “TV-14”, etc., and even if they were, Fahrenheit 451 would be permitted to be sold to high-school age readers. The kids in Les’s class would be perfectly free to buy it at the BookSmeller store, and if one did, no one would raise a stink about it. What has in some cases raised a stink is parents’ not wanting the book to be a part of their kids’ school experience, especially being made to read it. So why did the yahoos over in Westview put the torch to the bookstore? They should have burned down Les’ house!!!
Wow, even the kindly old gent from the local newspaper is trying to muckrake. The days of Walter Cronkite and Huntley/Brinkley are long gone. MSM are basically shills for the DNC.
Sure thing, I ran over there on my spindly old legs, set the place on fire, and then ran back, on those same spindly legs, so that no one noticed. You caught me.
Apparently the Burnings referenced in the final days of Funky Winkerbean started when Les Moore bought copies of the banned Fahrenheit 451 for “Booksmellers” to give away to his students. Pretty on-brand that the insufferable Les triggered a civilization-ending apocalypse! Pretty efficient of a censor-arsonist to target bookstores: “Eh, choosing’s hard; I’ll just burn all the books!” And pretty surprising that Lillian’s walkup firetrap survived the blazes.
Or is it? We know Lillian is a spiteful harridan who ruined sister Lucy’s love life out of petty envy, and left her to die alone in hospice care. Is it really beyond her to torch competitors, the [redacted]s, so she can maybe sell a few [darn] books once in a while? Don’t dig too deep, Skip Townes, you may not like what you find!
This all makes total sense. “This book is not approved to be taught.” “Well I’m still going to teach it and will just tell the kids where they can get a copy that I paid for.” Parents find out and BURN DOWN THE BOOKSTORE! Happens all the time.
Bla bla bla. Talk talk talk. Yak yak yak. Batyuk will drag out the reveal of who burned down the Booksmeller store for days, just like the infamous Linda Lopez-Bushka and Darrin Fairgood letter openings. It’s called writing.
Ah, Batyuk’s infamous “Tell, Don’t Show” has made its way to ‘Crankshaft.’ The comic strip ‘Crankshaft’ has featured exploding grills, crushed, and other assorted calamities mailboxes for decades, but it can’t show one burning building? It can’t show a person or persons starting a fire?
Here is a list of the number of strips a character has appeared in Crankshaft since August 4th.
Skip Rawlings: 15, Batton Thomas: 12, Lillian McKenzie: 8, Jeff Murdoch: 7, Pam Murdoch: 6, Les Moore: 6, John Howard: 3, Cayla Moore: 3, Harry Klinghorn: 2, The Eponymous Ed Crankshaft: 2.
Cayla and DeadSkunkHead, two supporting characters, have appeared in more strips than Ed?
Batty has all but turned the strip into Funky Winkerbean. The main character has been reduced to cameo appearances on the occasional Sunday. Why does Batty hate Ed? Why does Batty hate Crankshaft? Why does Batty hate his readers?
Hey, Batty! Change the name of the strip to Rawlings already. We know you’re infatuated with the character (God knows why).
So Skip hops in his car and drives all the way to Centerville to ask Lillian about a fire that happened in Westview? Typical Batiukian lack of logic?
No! I think there is more to this story than that. Skip is clearly infatuated with Lil. It has to be her Dead-Chicken hairstyle. The coke-bottle-bottom glasses. Her craggy gargoyle-like countenance. Her spindly legs. It’s just like William Hurt and Kathleen Turner in Body Heat!
How long has it been since the Booksmeller burned down? It has to be at least twelve hours of so, since it’s even when Skip is talking to Lillian in the evening. Hasn’t she learned about now?
wherescrankshaft 3 months ago
Today is a day that I actually laughed at a new Tom Batiuk comic strip for a long time.
All the implications. All the build up. And do we actually see this fire? No.
Can we actually see any part of The Burnings©, Tom? Or is this it? Please tell me that this isn’t it. Come on. Comic strips are a visual medium. You’re an artist. This is your moment. This is your craft and passion on the line here. You’ve been doing this for more than fifty years. And is this it?
Hilarious. What a joke.
Bill Thompson 3 months ago
Somebody torched the Komix Korner? Well, yeah, I can see why that would inspire worldwide rejoicing and the birth of a new civilization. But on to the questions! Did they nail the Atomik Komics cesspit? Is Wayback Wendy now a thing of the past? Was the fire started by the spontaneous combustion of Dead Skunkhead’s never-washed shirt? Were Batton Thomas and Mopey Pete consumed in the conflagration?
billsplut 3 months ago
“It was the BOOKSMELLER BOOKSHOP THAT SOLD BOOKS! Boy, what a stench! I’ve smelled better dumpster fires! SO—First time you’ve heard about how you’re going to DIE? In a FIRE?!” (looks at phone) “Well, the mob is here with torches! ADIOS!”
macgyver915 3 months ago
Scraping the bottom of the barrel there, billy! LOL…
Brian Perler Premium Member 3 months ago
Wait, who are these people? Is one of them Crankshaft? Maybe they should have some natural-sounding dialogue in which one tells the other who that other person is (as one does). How else are we supposed to know who anyone is?
billsplut 3 months ago
Why’s Skip the Dip so HAPPY about this? “Elaborate! Maybe some of your customers died just now! Maybe friends and family!” (He’s called Skip the Dip in Westview, because the pinned-up sleeve is fake. He has a left arm, and he’s a pickpocket. “I ask insensitive questions, then loot them while they gasp in shock! Made me a FORTUNE on 9/11!”)
Gent 3 months ago
Elaborate? How does one elaborates sometheeng they is just comes to knows of and not knows any details of? It’s called elaborating?
Blu Bunny 3 months ago
Yep, Lillian did it hoping to get more customers. But was probably Ed’s grill. To bad the whole town did`it burn, too.
Gent 3 months ago
Set on fire eh? Ah it no big deal. It must be them firey but mostly peaceful protesters who is just protesting mostly peacefully.
Out of the Past 3 months ago
Yes. Be sure to mention we don’t sell banned books here. That was fake news.
Blu Bunny 3 months ago
Of all the comics I read, Crankshaft has more comments than likes.
Gent 3 months ago
Crankshaft is now become so obscure and irrelevant in his own komix that even sometheeng that is getting burning down by fire is not attributed to him.
gammaguy 3 months ago
“Could you elaborate on that?”
Yes, indeed. With a 20-mule team!
French Persons Premium Member 3 months ago
Apparently, she doesn’t know anything… But it looks like Batty’s The Burnings™ have begun!
billsplut 3 months ago
Comics Curmudgeon has linked here today. The Clever people who think “Your SMelley LOL!” is a killer riposte might want to up their game.
Trespassers W 3 months ago
Lefty is on to Lil’s plan to eliminate all the competition and leave her illegal bookstore the sole remaining bookseller on the planet!
Tom_Tildrum 3 months ago
It sounds like Les taught Fahrenheit 451 to his students, and then one of them set fire to some books. Too bad he didn’t listen to the school board!
puddleglum1066 3 months ago
Me, yesterday:
Wanna bet that due to Batty’s Rules Of Writing Number 37 and 62, tomorrow Skippy will tell Lizard Lil all about how an angry mob burned down the BookSmeller store because they were providing a forbidden book to Les’s high school class?
Where’s my award?
Frank Farkel Premium Member 3 months ago
This has the makings of a terrific arc. I have an MLS from UNT in Denton. The right to read. Les is about to go where few go anymore and challenge censorship in defense of intellectual freedom. A fire at a bookstore; probably the one where his students were to get their copies of Fahrenheit 451, where firemen start fires. When I was teaching English during my Masters studies, I took a course in Young Adult Literature. One of the books we read was Robert Cormier’s The Chocolate War. This was early 80s when the biggest censors of the day were the Gablers. The school made me buy back every copy of the book, but let me teach it as an independent reading. Today, The Chocolate War is one of the most censored books in America.
ComicRelief 3 months ago
Hey, I like this turn. I didn’t know that Les could be such an effective teacher.
Frank Farkel Premium Member 3 months ago
There is a big lawsuit that has been filed to fight the censorship of so many major works of literature. Judy Blume is really big news these days.
Lord Flatulence Premium Member 3 months ago
How can she elaborate? She didn’t know about it.
elbow macaroni 3 months ago
Arson the end result of banning books.
ladykat 3 months ago
“Oh my!” is a suitable comment.
rockyridge1977 3 months ago
How old will I be when I see Crankshaft again???
puddleglum1066 3 months ago
Ah, now it’s time for the Big Question: recalling how Funky Winkerbean ended, with all of humanity as one nation (or something like that), we must ask: how does Dead St. Lisa’s Story figure into arc?
puddleglum1066 3 months ago
Eventually, we learn the fire was in fact a classic case of spontaneous combustion caused by a deed rubbing up against an insurance policy. Authorities get suspicious when they notice that just a month ago, the owner took out a policy including double indemnity in the event the store is torched by a mob trying to censor high school reading lists. Under intense interrogation by police, the owner confesses and says the store was deeply in debt and failing badly. “I guess ‘Village Book Smeller’ wasn’t the best name for a bookstore,” he says tearfully. “It’s almost as bad as choosing ‘Funky Winkerbean’ for a serious comic strip!”
seismic-2 Premium Member 3 months ago
Books are not rated “R” or “TV-14”, etc., and even if they were, Fahrenheit 451 would be permitted to be sold to high-school age readers. The kids in Les’s class would be perfectly free to buy it at the BookSmeller store, and if one did, no one would raise a stink about it. What has in some cases raised a stink is parents’ not wanting the book to be a part of their kids’ school experience, especially being made to read it. So why did the yahoos over in Westview put the torch to the bookstore? They should have burned down Les’ house!!!
Out of the Past 3 months ago
Ohio Burnng!
BeniHanna6 Premium Member 3 months ago
Wow, even the kindly old gent from the local newspaper is trying to muckrake. The days of Walter Cronkite and Huntley/Brinkley are long gone. MSM are basically shills for the DNC.
lemonbaskt 3 months ago
it says on goggle maps that the booksmeller was the store in the middle flanked by big rhino propane and yankee candle
eced52 3 months ago
Sure thing, I ran over there on my spindly old legs, set the place on fire, and then ran back, on those same spindly legs, so that no one noticed. You caught me.
[Unnamed Reader - 14b4ce] 3 months ago
Check for lithium batteries
David Rickard Premium Member 3 months ago
From today’s Comics Curmudgeon:
Apparently the Burnings referenced in the final days of Funky Winkerbean started when Les Moore bought copies of the banned Fahrenheit 451 for “Booksmellers” to give away to his students. Pretty on-brand that the insufferable Les triggered a civilization-ending apocalypse! Pretty efficient of a censor-arsonist to target bookstores: “Eh, choosing’s hard; I’ll just burn all the books!” And pretty surprising that Lillian’s walkup firetrap survived the blazes.
Or is it? We know Lillian is a spiteful harridan who ruined sister Lucy’s love life out of petty envy, and left her to die alone in hospice care. Is it really beyond her to torch competitors, the [redacted]s, so she can maybe sell a few [darn] books once in a while? Don’t dig too deep, Skip Townes, you may not like what you find!
Mopman 3 months ago
This all makes total sense. “This book is not approved to be taught.” “Well I’m still going to teach it and will just tell the kids where they can get a copy that I paid for.” Parents find out and BURN DOWN THE BOOKSTORE! Happens all the time.
raybarb44 3 months ago
Said it all …..
Surly Squirrel Premium Member 3 months ago
Bla bla bla. Talk talk talk. Yak yak yak. Batyuk will drag out the reveal of who burned down the Booksmeller store for days, just like the infamous Linda Lopez-Bushka and Darrin Fairgood letter openings. It’s called writing.
Surly Squirrel Premium Member 3 months ago
Ah, Batyuk’s infamous “Tell, Don’t Show” has made its way to ‘Crankshaft.’ The comic strip ‘Crankshaft’ has featured exploding grills, crushed, and other assorted calamities mailboxes for decades, but it can’t show one burning building? It can’t show a person or persons starting a fire?
lemonbaskt 3 months ago
just put the lime in the coconut and shake it all up
B UTTONS 3 months ago
Fire caused by Dinky’s unofficial biography hot off the press … Life with a Flaming Majorette
WilliamVollmer 3 months ago
ideological book banning, leading to book burning, and, then to bookstore burning?
be ware of eve hill 3 months ago
I’m sick to death of Skip Rawlings in this strip.
Here is a list of the number of strips a character has appeared in Crankshaft since August 4th.
Skip Rawlings: 15, Batton Thomas: 12, Lillian McKenzie: 8, Jeff Murdoch: 7, Pam Murdoch: 6, Les Moore: 6, John Howard: 3, Cayla Moore: 3, Harry Klinghorn: 2, The Eponymous Ed Crankshaft: 2.
Cayla and DeadSkunkHead, two supporting characters, have appeared in more strips than Ed?
Batty has all but turned the strip into Funky Winkerbean. The main character has been reduced to cameo appearances on the occasional Sunday. Why does Batty hate Ed? Why does Batty hate Crankshaft? Why does Batty hate his readers?
Hey, Batty! Change the name of the strip to Rawlings already. We know you’re infatuated with the character (God knows why).
be ware of eve hill 3 months ago
So Skip hops in his car and drives all the way to Centerville to ask Lillian about a fire that happened in Westview? Typical Batiukian lack of logic?
No! I think there is more to this story than that. Skip is clearly infatuated with Lil. It has to be her Dead-Chicken hairstyle. The coke-bottle-bottom glasses. Her craggy gargoyle-like countenance. Her spindly legs. It’s just like William Hurt and Kathleen Turner in Body Heat!
Skip: Are you as turned on as I am?
Lillian: More!
(Passionate kiss and embrace)
dputhoff62 3 months ago
How long has it been since the Booksmeller burned down? It has to be at least twelve hours of so, since it’s even when Skip is talking to Lillian in the evening. Hasn’t she learned about now?
gappleton47 3 months ago
They should rename the strip
Strawberry King 3 months ago
Nothing like a juicy crime story.
Don Rodriquez 3 months ago
It was the one-armed man that done it!!!