Crankshaft by Tom Batiuk and Dan Davis for September 21, 2024

“And if they stumble and break a leg falling through the fire-damaged staircase, well, that’ll sure remind ‘em, won’t it?”

… besides thanks to Cranky’s pyromaniac behavior, all of the layers of asbestos that cover the building will require a hazardous materials clean up permit.

“In fact, I’ll arrange to keep a big, fresh puddle of gasoline at the foot of the stairs, to remind them how dangerous life is here!”

So no mention of apprehending the arsonist?

Sheeeeet…. What happened? One of Crank’s grilling sessions got out of hand again?

Some kind of record – what is this, the third appearance of Cranky this week?

Gawd…. I find it slightly amusing… But moreso sad… how Batty is always trying to martyr himself..

Skip will eventually show up to do a story with Lillian on book banning/burning and will ask, did you have a fire sale?

Sure we will always remembers the lousy attempt of trying to burns a couple of stairs.

“…The commemorative plaque and monument will be set up next week.”

It reminds me of what Emmet Till’s mom in the wake of an even more horrific crime carried out by ignorant and stupid cowards.

All this is look like some couple of steenky publicity stunts. Just fires a couple of stairs and then makes a big hype about it. Easy peasy see.

The fire in Westview’s Booksteenker was also obveeously a part of this steenky publicity stunt. Remember what Skippy ol guy was says that there ain’t no evidence that fire was caused by protestors. So it was just conveniently on fire on that same time.

And also the so called “banned” books, (which ain’t really banned at all in the first place) was conveniently safe and not burnt then also and now in this case also.

All evidences is points out to a lousy loony owfully orchestrated publicity stunts. With Les Mooreon and his pals behind it. Observes how in both cases how only these two stores with who Less hads a deal with was “targeted” while that books in question is easily available across many stores both online and offline.

Seriously this is gots to be some sortsa intentional hilarious parody. Otherwise it’s called writing.

I’m beginning to suspect that this incident was an unsuccessful attempt to fire Lillian from the comic strip.

Thank God we didn’t end this idiotic non-issue on a heavy handed, holier than thou, preachy note. The main thing is it ended. Right? Right?

“I want people to be reminded of what happened here.”

“What DID happen here?”

“I have no idea, but I’m sure it was something bad.”

That conflagration should of caused way more damage based on the timeline of events

Because when you’re operating a second floor business that’s only accessible by an old wooden staircase, you sure wouldn’t want that staircase to be in good repair so people can safely use it.

Four days in which Ed stands around, doing nothing and saying nothing. Is this Batty’s subtle reference to “Weekend at Bernie’s”?

The books, which are what this whole story’s supposed to be about, are at the top of a staircase that’s been damaged by fire and is a crime scene (where’s the yellow tape?). This means nobody can go upstairs and get a book until the CSIs and fire marshal and building inspectors have finished their jobs and declared the building safe. However will Les’s poor students get their copies of the “banned” book (since, apparently, Amazon doesn’t serve Worstview or Centerville)? I guess Les will have to go back to teaching the same curriculum as all the other English teachers.

Thanks for launching the Book Banning Series, Mr. Batiuk. It was, and still is, sorely needed. I hope it inspires others to do the same. Regards.

She seems to be referring to Crank…….

Where are the police? A crime has been committed you know.

I think Lillian is a very brave person who stands up for freedom. Books should not be banned, Fahrenheit 451 is an excellent book.

Good for you, Lillian!

So hopefully that whoever did it will come back and do it right next time.

So, a fireball that the ISS could probably see from orbit only caused superficial damage to the steps, garage, and sign?

So, there’s no police tape indicating an ongoing investigation into an obvious case of arson? Could none of the firemen smell the accelerant?

So, Lillian knows of at least two cases of arson associated with the assigned book. Does she have no problem handing out the book, knowing she may put the young students in danger?

So, did Les not mention the Booksmeller arson to his class? Are the students unaware of the Booksmeller fire? Did he explain to his class the reason for the change in the book’s pickup location? Did none of the students wonder why they have to travel to another municipality to pick up the book?

So, are students going to retrieve their copies of ‘Fahrenheit 451’ without asking any questions about what happened to Lillian’s property?

So, knowing the arson damage is related to the book, will students still be willing to take the book home with them?

So, parents are going to let their kids read the book and attend the class despite what has happened?

So, is this Swiss cheese of a story worthy of all of Batty’s hype?

Seems like a lot of “bravery,” negligence, but not a lot of common sense.

In the old days, religious fundamentalists burned people. Now they burn stores. I guess that’s progress?

Well done Lillian, it seems that modern American society has forgotten the last time that book banning and book burning occurred in a country. They have also forgotten the other horrors that, that particular society not only endorsed but carried out against various groups, both ethnic and political. When humans forget their history they are doomed to repeat it. A reminder of that sort of history is a much needed thing.

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

—Martin Niemöller

Oh, look. Batty wants Lillian to be a modern-day Mrs. Till. (Look it up.). Or, he could attempt to be truly helpful to the folks of real-life Ohio and call out the MAGA terrorists for what they’re doing to Springfield.

Batty be helpful? Who am I kidding…

Ed’s thinking, “Four days in a row I had to show up. At least I didn’t have to speak. Maybe now I can go back to watching TV full time.”

Here’s a twist on that old tree-falling-in-the-forest philosophical question.

If Ed Crankshaft appeared in the comic strip bearing his name for a week and he never uttered a word, was he actually there?

Seems like Cranky has nothing to say………??

“Oh, Lillian, she is so brave!”

Puh-leeze. This is ‘Crankshaft’ featuring Lillian McKenzie. She’s Batyuk’s author-avatar of the strip. No harm will ever befall her, especially not during this story arc. Lillian could be run down by a car and only complain about a small bruise on her left elbow. Lillian could perform a swan dive off the roof of her bookstore and only complain of a mild headache. Lillian could be doused in gasoline and ignited by the arsonist only complain later of a mild sunburn.

It’s easy to be brave when there are no real consequences for your actions. If Lillian is badly injured during this story arc, I’ll eat a copy of ‘Fahrenheit 451.’

It is my hypothesis that the color of the gasoline was “brown” so people would not have to guess it was gasoline coming out of the container, in contrast to a “clear” liquid" which is what gasoline is. Yes, it might be slightly “bronze” in color if the container is deep and open enough. That is what the older folks who used to get gas at stations that had full-service use to call which fuel they wanted: ethyl (which was clear in color) or bronze). Maybe the colorist of that particular day ran out of lighter colors – who knows! It really isn’t a big deal, is it? [Again, rhetorical]! =^}

Lillian wants to turn a simple crime scene into a shrine?

Lillian is a tough old broad!

Get Crankshaft to “fix” things.

Lil wants to leave the soke damage to serve as a reminder, But will the Building Department agree?

Reading your comments is hilarious! I’m just glad to get a gander of ol’ Cranky!

Yes leave your already rickety now fire damaged staircase unrepaired. Just hope that no falls and breaks their neck when it collapses.

“Oh, I’m not planning to fix this!” — words everyone expects from Batiuk.

“I want people to be reminded of what happened here!” — the very last thing Batiuk wants.

To inspire others to try harder next time, Lillian?

If the arsonist starts to set ablaze again, are you still gonna keep the place open?

For those who use the term “haters” to describe those who leave critical comments about the strip… have you ever heard of Roger Ebert, or Jonathan Yardley, or Richard Eder, or Blair Kamin, just to name a few? These are all people who have won the Pulitzer Prize for criticism of books, movies, art, music, architecture, etc. My point being, criticism is a legitimate part of culture. Tom Batiuk is not a third grader bringing his art class comic strip home to his parents; he is a professional writer/artist who’s been collecting a paycheck for producing comics for over fifty years. As with any other professional author, film-maker, architect, artist, composer, singer, etc., his body of work is a fair subject for criticism. If the writing is sloppy, the characters cardboard, the dialogue wooden, the continuity nonexistent; if the story as delivered does not live up to the promises made in the teaser interviews, it is all a fair subject for criticism. “Hating” has nothing to do with it.