Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for April 29, 2024

Indeed it is; I’ve never met a nice boss. I think they’re too fond of having power over the people who actually work.

Only desperate bosses hire Rat.

Well, that is true, but I think you might have something to do with it, as well.

I have a sister that did just this. She had no end of “bad luck” with bosses. :P

Well, Rat, you’re not wrong. However…

And terrible bosses are the only ones who’ll hire Rat…

The toughest boss I ever had was when I was self-employed.

The one time I was allowed to be a boss I was way, way, way too nice; I let all the employees I was working with go home because they didn’t feel like working; I told them to come back when they felt better and would feel well enough to work. Not a single employee I had “power” over came back and said they were well enough to do the job…Oh well, I guess I’m just a sap for a sob story!!!! Dan aka…ps that story probably also explains why I was never put in charge of other people ever again!!!!

I’m with Rat!

If it smells like $hit everywhere you go…

This reminds me of an old poem by an unknown author. (The slash (“/”) indicates the end of a line since this site won’t let me enter “carriage returns” (or I simply don’t know how).)

“If you want to have the kind of a church/Like the kind of a church you like,/You needn’t slip your clothes in a grip/And start on a long, long hike./*/You’ll only find what you left behind,/For there’s nothing really new./It’s a knock at yourself when you knock your church;/It isn’t the church—it’s you./*/When everything seems to be going wrong,/And trouble seems everywhere brewing;/When prayer meeting, Young People’s meeting, and all,/Seem simmering slowly—stewing,/Just take a look at yourself and say,/“What’s the use of being blue?”/Are you doing your “bit” to make things “hit”?/It isn’t the church—it’s you./ *It’s really strange sometimes, don’t you know,/That things go as well as they do,/When we think of the little—the very small mite—/We add to the work of the few./We sit, and stand round, and complain of what’s done,/And do very little but fuss./Are we bearing our share of the burdens to bear?/It isn’t the church—it’s us./ */So, if you want to have the kind of a church/Like the kind of a church you like,/Put off your guile, and put on your best smile,/And hike, my brother, just hike,/To the work in hand that has to be done—/The work of saving a few./It isn’t the church that is wrong, my boy;/It isn’t the church—it’s you./*/

The problem is Rat loves work, he can stand and look at it for hours!

Goat is slowly learning

It’s like the guy at work that was married six times. May they weren’t all beotches.

I have a nephew with this same issue.

I had a boss who was an absolute SOB. At one point, I had a two week vacation. First thing I did on the first day? Call in my two week notice. If I posted my boss’s reply, I would be banned from the comment section.

If your boss is terrible then you aren’t the only one to see it. Those he is subordinate to see it as well. A bad boss is your opportunity for advancement. Or you can gripe the advantage being it takes no effort.

Rat could be one of those bosses.

To a narcissistic doo-doo head such as you, Rat, yes it would seem “obvious.”

At least rat doesn’t have to worry about performance reviews

I heard a comedian say, if you’ve been married 9 times, well, maybe it’s you

According to Redd Foxx, BOSS is a backward acronym: when the black man worked for the white guy, the black man wanted a way to say goodbye at the end of the work day. The black man would say, “Good night BOSS”. BOSS stands for, sorry son-of-a 81tch! (For those that need help, replace the “81” with “bi”…)

My old boss sent a text to wish me a happy birthday the other day. I retired 9 years ago.

So, what was the reason this time? Was it about you feeling like you should get paid more or was it how you treat customers?

I had a niece who mooched off her grandma (my mom). She went through jobs like a used pair of underwear. “It was always the bosses fault.” Like I said she mooched off her grandma; so, grandma would foot the bill for her expenses. After grandma died my niece suddenly started being more responsible for keeping a job because there was no one else to foot her living expenses.

After being out in the working world for quite some time, our son asked me why there are so many bad managers. I replied that it is simply a matter of supply-and-demand. There are far more managerial positions than there are people who are capable of being good managers.

Spoken like a true narcissist.

I’ve had some really crappy bosses in my day, they cold not manage their way out of a paper bag.

5 things about every job:

1. good places to eat lunch

2. bad places to eat lunch

3. good people to eat lunch with

4. bad people to eat lunch with

5. every boss sucks in their own way

Despite half the bosses I’ve worked for being nice, or at least pretty decent, I’m with Rat on this one. Though in his case, it may be having Rat as an employee that makes them a terrible boss.

I’d say 90% of my bosses have been good. My definition of “good” in this context is ’Stay out of my way, while I do my job. And keep the Suits contained."

My last boss stole my girlfriend, got her a boob job married her and fired me. (Otherwise, nice guy)

Ah, I’ve had a good boss or two. It just stands out so much when they’re nasty AND incompetent.

Interesting how many commentators sided with Rat and blamed the Boss.

I suppose it’s human nature to blame someone else rather than take responsibility for our failings. Sadly, this seems to be more prevalent in today’s society – from world leaders to school children – it’s never their fault when things go wrong. It’s always the other guy – bad bosses, bad government, bad parents, foreigners, atheists, and anarchists, … Nobody wants to take responsibility for their own actions, anymore. NOBODY WANTS TO ADMIT THAT THEY WERE WRONG!!

That was my ex husband. That marriage lasted less than a hot minute 53 yrs ago when I dumped his lazy behind. I was 19 and in lust. By the time I turn 20 i was a single mom.

Rat, maybe you’re a terrible employee. I’ve had nice/good bosses.

My current boss is the worst ever. He has never approved a vacation day (but I’ve taken a few anyways). He has never approved a “sick day” even with a doctor’s note. He has never given me a raise in pay in the 13 years I have worked for him (but has on more than a few occasions forgotten to pay me at all). He makes me work long days (sometimes all night) and expects me to show up bright eyed and bushy tailed in the morning. He will interrupt my “home life” on a moments notice to get a client’s rush project out on time. But he’s not all bad… I do sleep with his wife and drink his booze and he will occasionally pay for an evening out at a restaurant and movie.

I think the actual lesson here is that you need to learn to be more patient and have more self-discipline.

Self-employed. I am my own terrible boss. He thinks I’m a might too leisurely.

I figure this can be a “both-and” situation.

All of your dysfunctional relationships have one thing in common: you.

In all my years of employment, I have had three nice bosses. One was nice and stood up for his direct reports, one was nice but would cower to upper management at the expense of his direct reports, the third one was nice and would back his direct reports but unfortunately upper management removed all Ph.D.s from under him because he did not have one (he had a masters in engineering). I then got stuck with an idiot who didn’t know his head from his ar$e. Most of the bosses I had fit the bill of that last one. I am truly convinced that $h!t rises. It seems it is so hard to fire someone that the incompetent get promoted to keep them out of the mainstream of the business where they could actually do harm.

There is a fair amount of psychological research suggesting that most people’s empathy is curtailed when they obtain greater responsibility or power. Anecdotally, I’ve known many, many people who became considerably less friendly when they were promoted or gained some other new status. It even affects relationships that are completely unrelated to the new status, ie, people who don’t work with you or don’t even work in the same field at all.

Most likely those bosses didn’t make the winning 1% of the AT&T Human Resource Assessment program, but were promoted anyway.

Maybe Mr. Rat should find a boss that likes vermin.

I hated management. My last employment I declined a promotion that was going to be a ‘rock and a hard place’Sure enough 6 years later the company has evolved to looking at going public and all positions in upper and lower management have evolved to male. They have slowly moved and replaced all the women, their product choices for customers have become more homogenized and so has the advice they disseminate about the product.

I sometimes wonder why that face on Goat’s nose is always looking back.

I tend to agree with Rat on this one. There are exceptions, of course, but the scale would seem to tip the other way.

Rat is right about bosses. And Goat’s right about Rat being a massive (&^%(.

I’ve had a couple. One was a recently retired Marine Corps master sergeant.

For once Rat may be right. How many people stay despite having a bad boss?

Gotta say, I’m on Rat’s side on this.

Rat doesn’t believe he ever has a ‘you’ problem.

I was a part-time cashier at Lowes for a few years, then became Cashier supervisor in a new Lowes. I tried to be the kind of supervisor that I’d had (she was really great and fair). I’ve always thought that hiring from the ranks was the best way to go, as the ranks know what works and what doesn’t.

Well yeah! My boss included!…(wait… I’m self employed…..)

I’d hire a mendacious mouse

In much the same way every other driver on the road is terrible.