Non Sequitur by Wiley Miller for August 07, 2023

Maybe some fermented mammoth milk for a start

They need 2 things: 1. Beer, and 2. Something other than hands to pour beer into.

Dart board.

One of those bowling machines that are always out of order would be be nice

Karaoke Tuesday

Bud light, it ain’t.

Peanuts.

Of course, bar stools didn’t exist for hundreds (thousands?) of years.

I had a professor that stated “Brewing was the beginning of civilization.” It required a stationary population to cultivate grain which would then ferment. It’s still a popular theory.

Well, if it’s a “nudie bar”… https://youtu.be/1aifWQ3o8u0

“And the first guy who says pickled pigs’ knuckles is out of here.”

Root beer!

The people that walked passed it passed the bar and became lawyers.

They could barley hop to it.

Some money? Actually I read somewhere that in all the human settlements in history, virtually the first thing ever invented was alcohol; a number of South Pacific nations have Kava, and they’ve been around for a while. Beer is thought to have been invented by the Sumerians around 8,000 BC and the original brewers were women. The Sumerians also had a goddess of beer, Ninkasi.

“Ladies, Night” rings more and more Neanderthal, and therefore fitting for this context. (California, Maryland, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin have ruled that ladies’ night discounts are unlawful gender-based price discrimination under state or local statutes.)

Scantily clad women!

Leave some barley out for the “spirits,” and come back after it’s rained.

One theory of the origin of civilization is that guys wanted a steady supply of brewskis, and so developed agriculture to have an adequate supply of grain to ferment. This is known as the Beer Theory. (Competing theories are the Wise Woman Theory, Mutant Grain Theory, and Religion Theory. These are not mutually exclusive. It could be the women recognized the potential for agriculture so their guys would have beer and stay out of their hair, for example.)

Hops to it!

Captain Obvious tells us the pivotal moment in the brewing industry was hiring a trans woman as an advertisement. Should have stuck with “Dilly! Dilly”.

Cliff Clavin

… and pizza.

peanuts

Barmaids. Pool table. Loud music nobody dances to.

Beer……..duh!!

Girls?

Sarsaparilla! Milk! Tea, Earl Gray, hot! … what?

Hadda find some way to relax after the hunt and head bashing. Been that way ever since.

They need some guy sitting at the end of the bar who tells fantastic stories

Beer would be good.

Beer came before bars, except in the dictionary.

How about hiring some semi-talented locals to provide live music.

THE DUDE IN THE MIDDLE IS LOOKING FOR THE CAN!

A refreshing beverage, maybe?

Frank Zappa: “In order to be a real country, you have to have a beer and an airline. It would help if you had a couple of nuclear weapons or something, but first you need the beer.” (This from a man who didn’t drink.)

After scrolling through the comments I have little to offer. My first thought was beer, glasses, and waitresses. I liked the comments about beer/alcohol being indicative of civilization.

Bar nuts.

Males definitely invented alcohol before they had clothes or language or furniture.

Uh, beer?!

Smoke and depression?

IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY? Out of Cartoon Ideas??

Mastodon chips.

Take the path of yeast resistance.

One of the first sign of an increasing social complexity is the ability to ferment items to make booze

Women and wine. Save the beer for when you run out of them.

Billy Joel playing piano?

“What if we offered half-priced beer to lure the women here”

“Great idea! Just one question.”

“Yes?”

“What’s beer?”

Whatever you get, it should be on the rocks

Two-part question: At what point in the evolutionary process was karaoke introduced, and how can we travel back in time to prevent it?

Karaoke machine!

Happy hour.

Pool Table

I know! I know!

The first alcoholic beverage was probably mead. Under the right circumstances, honey will ferment with no help. Rotten fruit has a low proof and humans are actually resistant to alcohol to a degree. Protohumans might have gotten buzzed on bad fruit, but eventually more of a kick was needed.

A horse behind the bar serving wise cracks.

it’s a good start

Some more glasses.

Something better than AA.

Agriculture, and civilization, are a direct result of the desire for more of that grain you can make beer from.

Someone suggested Buffalo Wings, but everyone reminded him that Buffalo don’t Have wings.

A whiteboard to write all the things you need.

Flat TV playing football (some of you call it soccer but it is the real football).