Pearls Before Swine by Stephan Pastis for January 12, 2024

Pig wants to get close to nature in comfort.

For a one-step-even-further-removed experience, one can go through it on a bus tour.

Take a nature cruise.

Cheetos, of course!

Enjoy nature, but don’t give it a chance to get you.

I used to know a guy who said, “You seen one tree, you seen em all.” He would drive through a park like that with the radio on. He was also the guy who would go to a safari park and get out of the car to take pictures of the lions and zebras, ignoring the large warning signs saying “Stay in your car”.

Gunsight pass in Glacier N.P, was the place I hiked into a looooong time ago. There are bears….

Was that fuel car or electric car Pig?

Hmm. I’ve ridden through on Amtrak. So Pig’s experience sounds pretty first hand to me. I only hope to drive through it someday. Cheetos optional.

Heated Cheetos? Is that really necessary?

If you want to get up close to nature, try this:

https://www.youtube.Com/watch?v=I2aCVi4ekps

Should have ditched the car. Next time take your RV diesel pusher with the satellite dish and espresso coffee maker.

That’s like driving past a cemetery and calling it a near death experience.

What an immersive experience!

Cheetos and cold beer, that’s the ticket.

We used to take our oldest daughter to drive through safaris. Those are awesome.

Guess he didn’t want to get all cold.

I’ll bet you subscribed to both.

Nothing wrong with Pig’s way of doing things!

Sure it was an “up close” experience. If Pig rolled down his car window, he would be able to actually feel the cold.

At least Pig is smart enough to not pet the fluffy cows.

Glacier National Park is a great experience even if you’re just driving through on Going-to-the-Sun Road. Whether you’re the driver or the passenger, the views are just incredible. I’ve vacationed there a few times and hiked a lot of its trails. Also been on the train, both westbound and eastbound. I definitely liked driving better, as we could stop at many places, get out, and soak in the views.

I went to Iceland to enjoy the parks, and over 90% of the other people there were walking around staring down at their phones or posing for selfies. Less than 10% were actually looking at the nature

My wife and I have stayed there twice. “Really pretty” isn’t nearly strong enough.

I read this the other day, I’m not sure if I can properly credit the source. “I’m not outdoorsy, I’m outsidey. I want to see the beautiful mountain but from a roadside viewpoint. I want to eat a meal outside, but on a restaurant patio. I want to take a walk through the forest for less than a mile and nice and flat. I want to sit next to a fire in the woods, but then go sleep at a hotel.” @samanthas_suitcase

Maybe the best drive in the country, and I’ve seen many, many of them.

There are nuts that get out of their cars and approach buffaloes in national parks.

This is why I have a convertible.

And the glaciers are receding, also.

When I was there I thought it’s name should have a NO- in front of it.

That’d be me too.

That’s one way to do it. A lot of parks discourage you from getting out of cars and interacting with the animals.

A lady I worked with, once had an incredible outdoor experience in Glacier. She went camping there.

In the wee hours of the morning, a bear wandered into their campsite. She woke up to the tent shaking, and the sight of a very large paw pushing in on the side of the tent fabric.

The bear eventually left. It had pulled down the food bag they’d carefully strung up in a tree, and eaten their food. It had also chewed up and eaten the camping-permit tag they’d twist-tied to their tent rope (as required by the rangers). Only the wire twist-tie remained.

They packed up and left immediately. “I’m never going back to Glacier”.

Nature really is beautiful from a car window.

I’m here to tell ya, my Google Earth experience was awesome!

Heated car seats are the only way to go.

Traveling the American way!

Wait . . . Pig, Goat, Zebra and the Crocs ARE “Nature”

Are there any glaciers left in Glacier National Park? If so, what’s their currently estimated half-life?

My family drove through Glacier National Park a couple of decades ago (Road to the sky) in a mini-van. It was beautiful with the road passing within feet of a glacier and an incredibly beautiful lake at the bottom of a valley.

Pretty much grew up 20 minutes from GNP. Hiked a lot of trails, climbed a bunch of mountains, backpacked, cross-country skied. It was my “backyard” for several years. One of the most beautiful places in the world. It has gotten so busy and crowded the last few years, you need a reservation to get in now most of the year. Can’t find a parking spot to go for a hike. Stopped going about ten years a go. We’re loving our wilderness to death.

Don’t forget to bring along the Diet Mt. Dew.

The bison prefer Cool-Ranch Doritos (don’t ask me how I know).

Some never give up the comforts of home

Did you pull over and take pictures out the window with a zoom lens?

At least he could have parked his Winnebago and watched TV

Out of the Frying Pan (Crocs) and into the Fire (Grizzlies)…

Not to close, but just enough to stay in your comfort zone.

Too bad the Google Maps lady doesn’t include a geography and history narrative.

We’re spoiled rotten these days with today’s technology

Hey, if you’ve got Cheetos, you’re good.

Dumb Questions Asked at National Parks and Tourist Attractions

Any National Park…“Have we done all there is to do, or are we missing something?”“What is there to do around here at night?”“Is there anything interesting up the trail, or just more of the same? (trees, rocks, streams, you know)”“Tourists to one another: “Are you seeing anything good?”“Since there are bears here, should I keep my cat inside the tent?”

Glacier National Park" What does the park service do with all the animals in the winter?

How could anyone go to Glacier in the winter and not watch the gatherings of bald eagles?

Don’t blame Pig for seeking comfort while enjoying Nature. That’s the modus operandi for most people.

OMG get out and at least take photos! They are AMAZING!

If I were a major food group for large predators, I’d stay in my car, too.

Been there. I would have gotten a much better view of nature if they would just cut more of those trees down.

I worked at Glacier Park for 2 summers when a college student. Met people from all over the world. Hiked a lot (I was still healthy then.) Never saw a grizzly or black bear but always kept aware.

My sister worked at Lake McDonald the “summer of the grizzlies”. My parents and I (still in h.s. at the time) visited her. On the drive there we were listening to a Montana radio station. Heard a news item that an 18 yr old girl working at Lake McDonald had been killed by a grizzly. Her name couldn’t be released because the family could not be reached. Well, I had never seen my parents turn grey before. Dad pressed the pedal to the metal. At the first gas station they both went inside to call my sister. She answered. Their – and my – relief was palpable. Turns out the girl had lived in the room across the hall.

Rules were established after this summer for hikers, people staying and/or working in the park.

Love Cheetos!

Next Year, let’s hire a drone – and experience the Park from Virginia.

Animals like Cheetos, too. Count your fingers when you’re done sharing.

Getting up close and personal in Glacier Park can involve interaction with Grizzly Bears. Whether that is positive or negative interaction is completely up to the bear.

Now you need a $2. pass that’s impossible to get.

Try that place in Manitoba,Canada where they take up-close auto tours through polar bear territory.

We’ll get up a Vegas line on whether or not Pig survives

I’ve never seen anything wilder than a deer.Fire Island,New York is full of them

I went on a safari in Africa. Occasionally, a male lion would walk right up to our parked vehicle. I was telling a guy about my trip, and he asked if people could roll down the windows and pet the lions.

Only once, I replied.

He was really excited and said he wanted to go to Africa and pet the lions.

Yes, some people are that dumb.

“Trees, rocks, and big holes in the ground.”—my evaluation after a week in Arizona with my wife about 45 years ago

It’s important to travel with the right snacks.

True enough, but the road through Glacier Park isn’t conducive to sight-seeing. Not unless you have a death-wish.

passengers on the road to the sun keep their eyes shut if they any degree of vertigo.

A safer approach than trying to hug a bison.

I have been known to introduce myself as “ … and lover of the great outdoors, especially when it’s on TV.”

What he really wants is pigs in a blanket.

You have to admire Pig’s practicality. How much closer do you really want to be to all that Nature stuff?!

Totes