Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for July 23, 2021

That ain’t all that’s goin’ down…

Make your parameters good ones, Bernice.

Her turn will start as soon as she’s alone.

Solid communication and agreement. Great. This should appease the people crying psycho and control freak. If Nil stays in this relationship (which it looks like he will) it’s definitely because HE wants to.

Nil: “What a drag it is, being young.”

I hoped they checked the ground before setting down. If they are at the dog park there would be doggy doodoos all over the place, All other parts — goose dropping (or am I projecting my midwesternism since Canada goose are he bane of public parks.

This is getting downright silly!

What’s the point of making out if there are so many restrictions on how and how long you can kiss, what parts of the body you can touch and so on. It sounds too much like kissing your maiden aunt,

Nil… I think you’re gonna have to wait awhile for an answer. Seems like ol’ Bernice is getting a wee bit hot under the collar. And not because of the summer heat either….

Later, as Nil and Bernice are married, Nil calls out to Bernice in her bedroom from his bedroom, " ‘ernice, dear – think it’s time we do er, ah, something to have a kid?"

.

Bernice: “Sure, Nilly – just put it in a dish and slide it under the door. I’ll get it later…”

I think the parameters are a waste of time. They’re going to be revising them with every make out session.

Maybe time to discuss a safe word.

I guess they really are made for each other.

I miss Luann…..

Looking at B, since I am almost age 72, she looks to me not like she’s going through teen hormonal spikes but as though she’s going through menopause…

It sounds rigid, but it is easier to date someone who has limits than one who keeps trying to inch their way to second base or thinks dating requires hitting the sack within days of their first date.

Nil is learning how to rev her up. They could have great phone sex since talking gets her going.

How will you get better at kissing and arousal if you don’t practice? Interesting that she brings up body contact when they are minimizing it.

Wow, so French kissing isn’t even on the table, much less second or third base? So much for those claims that she is “enjoying her burgeoning sexuality” or whatever it was people here were claiming. With all those restrictions what’s even the point? Of course it’s pretty obvious that Bernice would be absolutely awful in bed anyway.

Sigh. Do it already. Let it be a natural event. Look at Bernice. I think she is trying so hard to rein in herself. Why are they treating it as if it is a sporting event that comes with rules? Do it and see how it goes. If they still like each other and are interested in each other, and wish to explore a relationship or dating, then so be it. But at the time being, you are horny which is preventing you both from looking at this in a rational way. Once you do the deed, if you look at each other and realize it was just hormones and perhaps some chemistry, and nothing more, you can part ways and still be friends. Many others have done it.

Keep it going Nil open communication is the best kind of communication.

Oh wow, the strange and vague dialogue this week actually IS about abstinence! How depressing! I guess it’s time to forget the sexual revolution ever happened, kids.

I wouldn’t be shocked if Bern gets pregnant after all this stifled activity with Nil.

These parameters aren’t going to last the day at this rate.

Bernice is going to break all of the parameters, and jump his bones.

Okay, this is ridiculous. It reminds me of a children’s book I read once in which two eighth graders set an alarm clock for 15 minutes so they wouldn’t go “too far” during their make out sessions. While I am not one of the fans of this strip who keep expecting sex scenes, this is not the first time where I have wondered whether the writers are targeting a very conservative readership with this sort of approach to the very concept of physicality between a couple. These aren’t 13 year olds, they’re college sophomores for heaven’s sake.

Has anyone ever had this conversation?

Where on this list is birth control?

From what I can remeber, life was different in the 60s

Specifically can’t kiss neck (panel one), can’t stroke or fondle neck (not listed among permissible hand contacts in panel two).

Why even call it necking, then?

I honestly wonder if this is what the Evanses went through, before marriage, to try to avoid what actually happened to them ( a child born before they got married). If so, maybe we are seeing the prequel to B getting pregnant…

“Passion parameters”?? Oh, my God! :D :D :D :D This is too funny!

What’s more disturbing – Bernice’s foolishness, or Nil going along with it?

Part of passion is danger and spontaneity, limits are a benefit but talking it to death…not so much…

I think Greg forgot how it was to be a teen

Art may be more fun then (what passes for) sex.

Facepalm(Website wont allow me to use emoji)

Bernice is so frigid she makes Siberia feel like Arabia.

She’s going to lose him.

Social contact contract with exhibits similar to “Big Bang Theory” sitcom storyline. At least, they are being reasonably for twenty years Olds?

Reminds me of Sheldon’s “roommate contract” from “The Big Bang Theory” different situation of course and at least Bernice & Nil are consulting one another

Bernice is melting just at the idea af all that action… She really needs these parameters! Nil is giving her responsibility for the part she cares about most. Bravo Nil! The only big question is; how long will they be able to follow these rules? I say a month tops.

OK it’s a comic strip and doesn’t have to be real life. Even so…. We’re having a physical relationship and need to set limits. I, the woman, am a total nymphomaniac with no self control and a total inability to say no. It is therefore up to you the man to set and adhere to reasonable parameters….. I’m sorry, I don’t care how far we have come down the road to gender equality, it just doesn’t work that way!

Isn’t this how Sheldon Cooper made his TEDIOUS negotiations?

This is silly. Human adolescents would break those rules in about 30 seconds.

If these are normal limits for getting involved it’s no wonder I was seen as overly aggressive. My first girlfriend set the parameters for our relationship, and I didn’t realize how odd they were. No kissing allowed, but I was allowed to touch her anywhere i wanted, whenever I wanted, She seemed to enjoy it so i thought that was normal.

This is one of those epsodes which make me feel I am not looking forward where the relationship of this two is going when they feel they have to set so many limits as an adult couple! I may just as well go watch Sesame Street, at least they have puppets! Hey, I got a bright idea, imagine Luann’s characters on a puppet show; now, that’s entertainment!

With every strip, I dislike this character more.

OK, this is a bit much. I guess they’re young for their age. That’s all. She’s not a witch.

Here you go guys. Just use this: “Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate and my future children to be sexually abstinent from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship.” also abstaining from “sexual thoughts, sexual touching, pornography, and actions that are known to lead to sexual arousal.”

Here’s hoping for Puddles to arrive just in time for a rescue by diving in for a day saving timely interruption. Puddles has more sense in these situations than they do.

I get it now! This is the setup for the Handmaidens Tale spinoff – “Aunt Bernice and Commander Nils: Origins”

This is hilarious! Nil knows exactly what he is doing. He is going with the flow, and doing Ericksonian intellectual foreplay on Bernice. Look how steamed up she is. It’s working! They’re going to end up in a frenzied heap on Saturday, and Bernice will wonder what happened.

“Parameters”…. Good luck with that…

At a tender age, Bernice has already mastered the art of making romance both tedious AND annoying!

So, I get the parameters thing, and I’m glad the kids are communicating. But “etching them in stone” so to speak is going a bit too far. Sitting on a park bench with a checklist and a stopwatch …?!? However unintentional it may be, Bernice is going to kill this relationship yet.

I think nils parameters are sarcastic, they are making fun of bernice’s desire to control her sexuality. Nil wants Bernice to get over herself and let herself go and whatever happens…happens.

Bernice… least likeable character here.

WHAT IN THE VANILLA IS THIS!??!?

You may think this is comic strip absurdity, and Bernice is just a cartoon caricature of an overly buttoned down personality, but guess what? They did a poll recently of young men, and a large percentage of them said it would be sexual harassment to offer to buy a woman their own age a drink in a bar.

The rules have been changing, and nobody knows what to do anymore. The instincts are there—and easily corrupted, nobody’s denying that—but we mistrust them, because of the evil actions of some. There’s a lot of Bernices and Nils out there, straight, gay, etc, trying to figure out what’s right, and what they really want, and I wish them all luck. They’ll need it. I did. ;)

Bernice and Nil were doing fine. So, Luann comes along and now they’re over-thinking it. Totally unrealistic. No one thinks like this.

I wonder which one of them will mentally be counting to 3 minutes in their head during the kissing? Better put that down too, Bernice.

After marriage: Three minute limit, missionary only, through a hole in the sheet, and for procreation purposes only.

“How about, no more than one of us naked at a time? Oh, did I say that out loud?”

“Touch my phone stylus and you die.”

Tomorrow, Nil stops Bernice by yanking the stylus out of her hand.

If they start discussing foot stuff, I’m out. Not to judge the kinks of others, mind you.

I just don’t understand this discussion

(0.o)

Too bad we can poll the commenters on this arc. I’m curious of those who seem to think that B is just raging hormones that can’t wait to get it are male and now many are female. My theory is more men seem to think that women just can’t survive without their (the man’s) passion while I think women are worrying about other aspects of the budding relationship.

Discussing the “parameters” seems to be affecting Bernice, in a most wonderous way. She may want to forget some (?)of those "parameters. Hopefully her brain will catch up to the rest of her before she goes too far too soon.

They could decide they need to try everything out first to get a better idea of what they want their parameters to be.

HOW old is Bernice???

Really…… How soon til Nil says Scroo this, Im outa here!!

This is the part where I would get up and leave. It’s not nearly worth the hassle.

Is there a Control Freak Annonymous support group, with a 12 step program?

Bernice is overthinking this relationship. I didn’t like Nil at first but I think he is sweet.

Maybe these two should swing by Arlo and Janice’s hot tub. That should throw the parameters out the window.

Bernice download an app on her phone? Maybe the app can solve the problem without Puddles?

I am waiting to find out that Nil is the son of some super mega rich or famous person lol!

Listen, Bernice, making out is fun, but it’s not meant to be taken for granted. It’s how a special connection between two young lovers is established. Someday, we’ll have that discussion, but for now, just enjoy what you have.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to take the first in a series of very cold showers… (What’s the emoji for sarcasm?)

Reminds me of the initial contract Ana and Christian worked out in Fifty Shades of Grey….

Just go with it Bern: let your freak-flag fly!

Leave it to Bernice to make kissing boring

Wow, I’m sure Bern will prepare a detailed manual when they’re done…

Bern needs a copy of Aubrey Plaza’s “To Do” List

I’ve worked around college kids my whole life and believe me these two are not normal. College-age kids usually live outside the parameters.

It’s like the opposite of Brad and Toni.

I’m reading a lot of posts about the appearances (or lack thereof) of Luann, but what about Brad and Toni? Haven’t seen them in FOREVER! Where are they?

“Youth is wasted on the wrong people” W.C. Fields

One rule: nobody gets knocked up.

She’s a nut.

“Kissing on the lips ONLY. No tongues ears or neck.” _ Nil

ALSO,

“No smoking.”

“No parking.”

No fishing.”

“No Hunting.”

“No talking.”

“No loitering.”

“No littering.”

“No open flames.”

“No Pets.”

“No Soliciting.”

“No skateboarding.”

“No recording devices.”

“No shirt, No shoes, No service!”

Other than that, you two enjoy yourselves and have FUN!!!

20 bucks they end up making out in the grass.

Sooooo stupid

Next category: “RESTRAINTS AND BONDAGE EQUIPMENT”!

If he can sit with Bernice and do this, they just might be compatible!

This is so unrealistic.

Nil is being facetious. Bernice is being ridiculous.

I can’t imagine any college kids these days EVER having this kind of conversation, at least in the way that these two are having it, and in the words that Bernice uses. The writing is just weird. Like something out of a 1940’s dating guide.

Oh this is going South fast. Berniece always has to ruin everything. I feel so sorry for her that she can’t just ENJOY this!!!!

What I like about this arc is how, hilariously, letting Bernice acknowledge what I always have recognized in her drawn character, which is a major case of repressed sexuality and sexual desire. She has pretty unyielding personal standards, not realistic, but hopefully can develop. This would be good for her overall I project, being more laid back, like her BFF, but not like Luann exactly, and Nil, he has great hope as a patient boyfriend who also has standards. He is a creative, very smart, and would, I think, do a good job in helping “cool out” Ms. Repressed. It’s like Bets helping Gun(ther) be less passive-aggressive to his benefit. I like this overall arc and I am hopeful that Bernice can become a more developed character as a result.

Of course, this is what you get when people doing a strip about teens or twenty somethings know nothing about the daily behavior of their subjects. No kids today act like these two!

Who ARE these people!?!?

These two are…what? Eight-year-olds?

i suspect the forces of nature are strong and will ultimately overcome those of all this rule making. the fact that they are sitting down in the grass together as opposed to on a concrete bench is already a red flag.

Interesting that Nil has definite boundaries.

Well the no tongues parameter has been blown already. The way Bern is sweating, by the time Nil hears her parameters something dramatic might occur!

An “hour of splendor in the grass”? – Wordsworth

But the ears are the best part.

Lol! Bernice is getting “hot” just thinking about what they’re not going to do! I expect tomorrow she’ll pounce on him and they’ll be rolling in the grass! List forgotten! ;-)))

This. Is. So. Weird. And pathetic. These are college students? Really??

As for those limits: C’mon! Let Bernice run her fingers through his stocking cap. Let reveal his other eye. And one of them should take off his jacket—he’s got to be uncomfortably warm. And body contact? Bernice seems like she’s never been bare outside the shower since she was old enough to dress herself, and I’m not sure Nil has ever been without his hat. Beernice could give him a haircut.

His name is Nil, which is another word for zero. Just like the current relationship.

Bernice is adorable and Nil is too. I love it that Bern is trying so hard to keep control of things.

What about eyes? 1 or 2?

These kind of rules tend to get renegotiated quickly in the heat of the moment.

Body Contact parameters? The chorus from Zombie Jamboree comes to mind.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p4k5XftdTMs – - Kingston Trio at The Hungry Eye

This is ridiculous!

Will they have those penalty cards (like in soccer) to hand out for violations?

Nil is really creeping me out.

Body? They already established what body parts they can touch. I guess it needs to be determined what position they can be in. Reclining or not? I wonder how long they will stay within their parameters. No tongue. Really?

Glad they’re setting parameters. Rules are so much fun to break.

What about birthdays and special occasions?

Those are odd limit for a young man to set with a female he likes. He must think that is what Bernice is expecting.

Well, I hope Bernice jumps on Nil and we go back to Luann on Monday.

Nils reminds me of someone I knew in college but I can’t remember the name… and it’s driving me nuts. (okay, some say short trip, and others say I’m already there, but still…)

Sorry, but this is just stupid.

Pheromones. Pheromones. Pheromones

Bernice already looks like her boilers are about to blow in that last panel. What may happen here is what Nil may be having her swerve into. The description of the parameters may get more and more sexual until the point she boils over and shreds him right there on the grass. Interesting technique…

The look on Nil’s face in the final shot is priceless.

We have to have the bad to appreciate the good.

“No ears or neck”? What is this, a meeting of the Comstock Committee? What prudes. When Luann and Quill were, um, smooching in a supplies closet behind a closed door, there were some pretty suggestive sound effects, and then in the last panel Quill was buttoning his shirt.

Reminds me of the Sheldon and Amy Relationship Agreement

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwuVwOhFu58

Evans sure has some odd ideas about sex.

Whose job will it be to arrange for the chaperone?

Even for a comic strip, this is so unbelievable. I am so tired of this arc.

Bernice looks like she is doing the banana practice in the last panel.

But who’s the second guy?

Gosh, horn-, erm, flustered little dickens, ain’t she? I hope this ends with her tossing those notes aside and letting herself live a little. How old is everyone supposed to be? 18? 19? Time to experience some things.

I think Nil knows Bern better than she does and that he’s letting on. Seems to me he knows how to push her buttons to get the motor in overdrive. Game on!

They must go to the church I was raised in.

Bernice sure is getting hot listening to Nil speak intelligently. If Nil truly agrees with Bernice, they’re made for each other.

Who’s gonna start the timer?

I hope Bernice is the one who’s hormones get away from her.

B. is getting ‘warm’….whoo…

Those parameters are just for starters. They can modify them any time as needed.

No tongue? Why bother?

“Passion Parameters”? C’mon, give us a break! Just go at it!

Oh, good grief. Who does that? Nobody, that’s who. Now this just borders on the stupid. Time to move on.

Oh come on. These 2 are in college. They should be at third base by now!

Bernice and Nil need to call Sheldon for a “Relationship Contract.”

Good God, get a room and end this madness…

Quick: check the online Kama Sutra for guidance.

Lame rules. Have they no hormones?

This is fun.

loving this

Are they going to be able to find Equity in what He is allowed to touch vs what She is allowed to touch?

Especially since Women have more “Places” than men.

One thing Bernie knows well is, How to Take the Romance out of Romance. Nil is being a real trooper here….

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ef7UInZyAfc

“Passion Destruction Parameters” more like it. I wish I knew this a long time ago!

Leave it to Borenice to regulate romance. Is Nil being a good sport and humoring her (why?), or does he actually buy into this crap? Just shut up, kiss, and be happy in your mutual weirdness.

FWIW:

https://www.nytimes.com/1993/12/26/opinion/playing-by-the-antioch-rules.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/08/insider/antioch-sexual-consent-form-metoo-video.html

https://antiochcollege.edu/campus-life/sexual-offense-prevention-policy-title-ix/

Good luck keeping to those “rules.” I guarantee they will be broken.

Are they 12 years old?!

When Bernice goes boy crazy, she REALLY goes boy crazy.