Pickles by Brian Crane for June 04, 2024

I’ll put my psychedelic glasses on, go outside, then tell you.

People are too used to looking at themselves from the front view in a mirror. The truth hides in the sideways view.

Anybody been to a Costco furniture store? Every chair seemed huge to me, I sat in one and I felt like a kid waiting for dad to come home

A strip about some husband telling this to his wife wouldn’t even remotely be considered a joke.

There are no “abs” … just one Big Ab.

Just a little too much air in the spare tire, Opal!

Can you even imagine him saying this to Opal? And being able to walk away for the results.

From where we’re looking Opal (the outside looking in) you’re at least as overweight as Earl!

Earl might have been better off with an answer like: “If I am overweight, it’s because your cooking is so good, Opal”.

Opal’s hips are as wide as her mouth

Opal is a beach.

Earl … Six pack no … Keg yes ;-)

“The sky was yellow and the sun was blue.”

“Scarlet Begonias”, Grateful Dead

Ask Opal to stand next to you.

Ask him the color of his shoes, bet he can’t

So are you, Ms Chubby.

B*tch.

Ah, Cheers, 1982… Cliff Clavin : It’s a genetic quirk in the Clavin family that we all have two extra teeth. You see, that’s the only way that we can prove that we are the rightful heirs to the Russian throne.

Dr. Frasier Crane : Hello in there, Cliff. Tell me, what color is the sky in your world?

Opal should not be one to criticize, considering HER shape…if round is a shape.

Now tell Opal she’s overweight too.

They both are just right for who they are. Nothing wrong with being comfortable in your own skin. It is a quality I admire.

She might wanna go on a diet WITH him…… THERE, I said it.

People ask me that all the time. I tell them, it depends on what day it is.

Are they arguing about who’s skinnier? Or about who’s fatter?

This discussion reminds me about that old Alka Seltzer commercial – “No matter what shape your stomach is in..”

Opal, you are no Christy Brinkley you know. FYI Christy Brinkley is 70 years old and definitely doesn’t look it.

“I see skies of blue and clouds of white. The bright blessed day. The dark sacred night, and I think to myself what a wonderful world.”

- Weiss / Thiele

He should have said they are: “My love handles just for you hon.” Why is she always the so practical one?

Someone needs to focus on her girlish figure.

I can’t be overweight. I can see my toes.

pink, of course

He should have said they’re just my love handles. Why is she always the practical one?

I wonder what color the sky is in her world. Dark brown, I say.

Pot bellies sometimes come with age…. only sometimes……..

Green

I know what I’m saying the next time my NM tries her BS

Opal-you’re way too mean today

Finally, the brains are starting to doubt the efficacy of the BMI. Of course, they are morbidly obese U.S. scientists.

Ha ha?

If you have to lean forward to see your shoes, you’re overweight.

I had to go for my yearly this morning. A woman was brought in by a driver and then he took off. The poor woman was stuffed into an extra wide wheelchair, (and that was tight for her) and must of weighed well over 400-500 pounds! She thought she was there for dental!

After much talking to the intake person, it seems she was there for a cardiologist, but wait!!! It wasn’t even the hospital she was supposed to be at. They parked her to be able to look out, and when I left, she was still there! And behind something that she couldn’t see beyond!! I felt so sorry for her!

I thought to myself, I wouldn’t want to live a life like that. I would end my own life, the best way I could. Over pill myself.

As my mom would say, “Well, THAT’S certainly the pot calling the kettle black!”

Opal, when you get to be our age, nobody really cares. Break out the cookies and ice cream and leave the body dysmorphic disorder to the callow youth.

Sure glad I am married to a nice woman.

She’s as hefty as he is!

I’m sorry, but I don’t believe in criticizing your partner on their looks, most especially if you are in the same boat! Opal is showing hypocrisy at its finest.

The 4th panel applies to many situations these days.

Inflation has victimized Earl and Opal.

Wow! Really Opal?! I wonder what color the sky is in her world? ;-)

Let she who is without fault cast the first excess weight comment.

Opal is the pot calling the kettle black.

Opal does all of the cooking. Earl can’t make a sandwich by himself.

Holy cow! She’s criticizing him for being overweight? Pot, meet kettle.

She better watch it. Those same eyes and same “world” think she is attractive. Better not wake him…