Luann by Greg Evans and Karen Evans for November 23, 2021

Very messed up, Bernice.

The messed up part is imagining you should have it all together when most of us don’t. The reason we live one day at a time is because it’s so difficult to live now and later at the same time…impossible in fact!

I love how Nil’s cyclops eye gets larger in the 2nd panel, when he’s thinking about her body parts. LOL

Bern, is it a triangle or a three….

Why do I get the feeling if Bernice mentions any of this to Luann, she’s going to suggest the ol romcom “tie-breaker”?

Jack hasn’t shown any interest in getting physical, though … ✨

I was so hoping for a new arc this week.

Not sure I’m liking this „Bernice is a basket case“ arc.

For what it’s worth, the “other parts” are connected to the brain.

Bern is cute when she’s being hypergamous.

This story line is messed up.

things are getting hot here…..

Jack is all muscle and no brains.

This arc needs to end like yesterday.

Bernice’s other parts: Her lips. And according to her dream, Nil wants only 30% of them. (Honestly, whatever physical thing Bernice wants, Nil is pretty half-hearted about it in this dream—not exactly mermaid stuff there.)

Bernice has not got around to thinking about what a kid from either one would be like. One would be part cyclops, and from the other, one part Neanderthal. Just wait ’til she tries to wrap her head around that one…

.

Fire… …Good!

Yep, T’is Karen’s plot. No doubt about it.

Make sure you get first choice of the other parts, Nils.

The brain and the “other parts” can be quite nicely joined with feelings Bernice. I hope you can find your way there

Love triangles NEVER end well. It’s best to avoid them.

As with most dreams, none of this makes sense, The Dream-Jack and Dream-Nil are arguing back at her certainly makes this messed up. Will dream-Luann appear tomorrow and and take them both away?

It’s been a LONG time coming, but the first step to solving a problem is admitting you have a problem.

Nil is obviously into Bernice and wants a relationship; Jack’s a nice guy, but outide of giving Bernice a goldfish, which hopefully hasn’t died, I haven’t see anything that even remotely suggests that he wants to be emotionally or physically involved with Bernice, except in Bernice’s dreams that is. Of course there is something to be said for casual sex, but I just don’t see Bernice going down that road.

Do ’em both, let the chips fall where they may.

No rush, Bernice, “let the buyer beware”. Take a few test rides for a couple of years.

I think Bernice needs to keep looking. Listening to the brain and not the heart doesn’t lead to a happy future with someone. She needs to listen to her brain yet be attracted to the man at the same time.

Somebody will make Bern feel fine. It’s time.

Considering her future, Bernie is getting her musical playlist together:

Year of the Cat – Al Stewart

All Cats Are Grey – The Cure

Cat Scratch Fever – Ted Nugent

Cool For Cats – Squeeze

Hell Cat – Scorpions

Look What The Cat Dragged In – Poison

Love Cats – The Cure

Phenomenal Cat – The Kinks

Stray Cat Strut – Stray Cats

What’s New Pussycat – Tom Jones

Wild Cats 0f Kilkenny – The Pogues

Wild Catz – Tygers Of Pan Tang

And most anything by Cat Stevens

I think you don’t know these guys very well, Bernice. Both are acting and talking out of character. Methinks you are projecting upon them your ideals and the whims for them to be wanton of you when in real life, they are not like that. Heck, Jack is not even interested in you. I get that. I had a crush on a guy for a long time knowing he was not interested in me but that never killed my crush for him. I never understood this phenomenon. Thankfully, once in college, I forgot about him.

Welcome to the World!, Bernice

Yep Bernice you are

The brain is in the skull. Give Nil some “skull,” and give Jack the other parts!

Welcome to love. Enjoy the ride. It’s a wild one.

Hilarious! Bernice is really messed up, even in love she talks about percentages! It’s a bit sad that she’s only able to make this inner talk in a dream. But if that’s the only way for her to deal with her problem, good for her! I just wonder what Luann will hear and understand, Bernice is probably still talking in her sleep. But of course, if Luann tries to tell her BFF about what she heard, even with the best of her intentions, Bernice will get mad and call her a nosy spy.

Okay, it’s settled – Bernice is a “horn-dog.” Or as we said in my youth, a “hose-monster.”

Ok. I tried. I really did, but it’s now official. I JUST DON’T CARE. The Luna-verse has become very confused, and frankly, boring.

Well, I found this one amusing.

Can’t say I really care about Bernice sorting out her love life.

It’s just a shame that Luann never gets this kind of attention. She’s a supporting character (if that) in a strip that used to be about her.

To say that you’re messed up would be an understatement Bernice. But hey at least you don’t fantasize about banging your mom like Gunther does.

I’ll say.

“I am so messed up“…. Hooo boy, if THAT isn’t the most profound self-realization ever…!!

Better make up your mind, Bernice. When you get to my age you’ll be lucky if you have any parts that still work.

Only Bernice would dream about negotiating terms for her reverse harem.

No, Bernice. You’re not messed up, you are in love.

Oh for the Love of GAW!

Pick ONE, fer Cripes sake!

Either one.

Although most “folks” tend to choose the one that makes their “other parts” tingle.

Then live to regret it later.

Her vision of Jack is pure meat candy

She’s turned him into a meat head sex object in her dream even with his words

Yesterday everyone was right she shouldn’t be with either until she learns how to be with herself

Bern, you are very messed up. The best thing for you would be to leave this comic strip and get some rest. Don’t bother coming back.

That last panel sums up the whole thing. Problem is, it’s only Tuesday.

Panel three says it all.

AS USUAL they are ignoring the main point, which is – Jack is not interested in Bernice. There is no choice for her to make and she is delusional to assume they both want her. Actually, it’s really arrogant. It makes the whole storyline really stupid.

The one who gets to see you without the glasses gets all the other parts.

Hint to Greg- people on ego trips with nothing to back it up are not entertaining.

“No one else can have the part of me I gave to you…”

”Other parts”?

So many critical voices, but if it were other than Bernice would there be? She is confronting her basic personality issues, how to handle her intimate desires and potential romantic partner while at the same time having such a constrained personality. A solution may or not appear, but it will have some hilarity in the middle of the sadness.

Jack and Nil haven’t looked this bad since:

https://www.gocomics.com/luann/2015/01/26

“Parts is parts” as they used to say. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTzLVIc-O5E

Even her dreams are a stats class.

It’s a triangle only in her own mind. Jack has no idea that he’s even playing.

Interesting trialogue today. Bernice offers a 50-50 split of her brain and 90% of her other parts to Jack. Nil pleads for at least 30% of her other parts. I can’t wait to go back and read the comments today. I know, that somewhere “Lady Parts” will be mentioned.

Speaking of percentages, I’m rooting for the guy who has enough sense not to compromise 50% of his vision by not getting a haircut.

The horrormones are hitting Bernice hard.

Bernice is on the horns of a dilemma.

Bernice needs a vibrator.

Bern will want Nil more after she watches Ulysses and digs that cyclops

You know, with contacts and a new hairstyle (and a new attitude) she could be attractive.

Maybe she should get a little side thing going with Tiff?

As are we all…welcome to the human race.

Yes, you are.

Jack might not be as intellectually “deep” as Nil, but he is plenty intelligent, albeit in a different way — the kind of way that will make him a great veterinarian. I wouldn’t want Nil diagnosing my cat any more than I would invite Jack to a Noam Chomsky book club meeting.

Also if she likes Nil so much more for his brains than his body, why do they always seem to meet just to smooch?

Anyhow, neither of those gentlemen seem to be a good fit for Bernice. I think Jack & Luann could work.

Sounds like her concerns would be solved with a menage a toi

Bern, you want both, do both. You’re not bound by anything.

Freud understood dreams to be messages from the unconscious. He viewed dreams as manifest symbols of latent pathology, a storehouse of unwanted and dreaded content. Jung, agreed with the unconscious as the origen, but concluded that our darkest dreams might contain imagery that illustrates our internal conflicts _and point to their cure as well. _

So! Is this dream a manifestation of Freudian sexually repressed pathology? Or a Jungian clue to resolving her feelings for two potential suitors? Her negotiation over sharing seems to favor the latter.

But, HEY! I’m only kidding. It’s just a comic strip folks. 8^ )

For once I agree with Bernice’s conclusion.

maybe she’ll end up with neither; I mean like she’s thinking she has a choice. It takes two to tango as they say.

Bernice isn’t correct often, but she is THIS time.

Bern, baby, burn!

Bernice, you’re just being normal. Go with it.

Are ‘other parts’ ‘Lady parts’?

If you want weird dreams, I can tell you the one I had about myself and Patrick Stewart being forced to star in a crappy Power Rangers ripoff.

She needs to forget these two and wait for someone that’s 100% all around, or close. Acknowledging she’s messed up may be the first step. When do classes start?

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!! Poor Bern… :)

Let the fun begin and as Sam Beckett would say “Oh, boy.”

You think long. You think wrong. Sometimes you just have to go for it!

On the bright side, probably on Thursday we will have a dinner going on, and not some melodrama that really doesn’t exist for Bernice. Nil canceled on her and Jack isn’t interested, and wouldn’t date a woman who had dated his friend.

It’s OK Bern, you can be polyamorous now.

Bern may need to try them both out to get the best fit.

It is hilarious that they have decided to cast Bernice (of all people) as a femme-fatale. It’s almost al ludicrous as the next story line being Luann winning the Nobel Prize. Let me know when they finish being ridiculous. Oh wait, that might be never lol!

Well if nothing else, there’s a threesome possibility….just saying.

Finally she got something right! She is messed up!

Yes you are!!

You’re not ready for anything.

See Bern is a nice girl. When I was in high school one girl I dated was dating another guy, and the other girl I dated earlier was always playing games with me.

There are times when a woman has to say what’s on her mind. Even though she knows how much it’s gonna hurt. Before I say another word, let me tell you, I love you. Let me hold you close and say these words as gently as I can.

There’s been another man that I’ve needed and I’ve loved. But that doesn’t mean I love you less. And he knows he can’t possess me and he knows he never will. There’s just this empty place inside of me that only he can fill.

Torn between two lovers, feelin’ like a fool. Lovin’ both of you is breakin’ all the rules. Torn between two lovers, feelin’ like a fool. Lovin’ you both is breakin’ all the rules.

Sung by Mary MacGregor

Evans needs to go into therapy to address his issues with sex.

A Mental Menage a’ Trois as it were….

Now that’s an internal dialog…

So we’re spending another week on Bernice dreaming, huh? Because the mermaid thing totally wasn’t a waste of time that didn’t go anywhere.

Though if anyone thinks I’m wrong and that this week will actually result in something, place your friendly wagers now.

Nil is so creepy today. He’s staring right at you with that one eye.

The bookworms are always the most nervous about this sort of thing,because it usually hits them right out of the blue.

On the other hand,maybe she should cut out the jalepeno pizzas at bedtime.

Delta for Mayor.

Poor Bernice. Most of her friends went through this five or six years ago.

“I just wanna kiss, swap germs.”

In panel two, Jack should have turned around since Bern is always checking out his backside.

Bern, spend time with each one, and focus on HIM each time! That should help you figure out “next steps.” One will appeal more than the other….

Wonderful: a throupel. smh

I love myself / I want you to love me / When I feel down / I want you above me / I search myself / I want you to find me / I forget myself / I want you to remind me /

I don’t want anybody else / When I think about you / I touch…

Yep, that’s the first step, now you need to take the second one.

“. . . Other parts . . . " is getting pretty close to erotic, isn’t it?

Trying to love two, sho ain’t easy to do.

I’m glad to see that Bernice, unlike other comic characters, doesn’t wear her glasses when she sleeps!

Wow, Bets, Toni and Bernice all need therapy but for different reasons….

Just like the rest of us

Well, this is better than the archery bit…

Memo to Bern: The guys in your fantasy might want a say in this….just a guess.

Brainy brunettes with glasses always aroused my brain and other parts…

Why is it the only time I spend a week in bed, I’m too sick to enjoy it? :-/

That’s enough, I hate the direction this strip has gone, and this current arc is just… the last straw, unfollowing

“Playing The Percentages”

“I’ll See Youse In My Dreams”

“Let’s Make A Deal”

“Mess Congeniality”

“♪♪ Some Of Me…Why Not Take Som-m-me Of Me”

She is going to get such a Headache trying to work out the Schedule.

Bernice could just have a threesome. Problem solved.

Bernie’s first true psych insight! She is indeed messed up.

Recognition of the fact is the first step toward recovery—for some folks….

I like Jack – it’s a shame Bern only appreciates his physique when he has more going on. He is a solid friend, likes animals, is upbeat, and is an overall good guy. Bern is certainly projecting her own desire onto Jack – he is not interested in her, and she has no clue. And poor Nil. He deserves someone who won’t be making stupid puritanical rules about making out. And who doesn’t want his buddy, too. Bern doesn’t warrant this kind of attention. Maybe give some of it to Luann, you know, the eponymous character of this strip?

On the bright side, her knowing how messed up she is proves that she’s not that far gone.

Threesome.

what is it about people asleep that I like so much?

Truer words were never spoken.

I’m with Nil. At least 30% for this arrangement.

I just wanted to make it an even 400.